Monday, January 24, 2005

Wait A Minute, You Mean To Tell Me That The Wreslting Bussiness Has A Dark, Seedy, Underbelly?

New documentary gives Vince McMahon further unneeded shit.


>>"The pro wrestling industry, Vince McMahon, and the WWE are getting out of control with drug abuse, no union for the workers, and many other problems. People need to know what is going on in the buisness today; and frankly, they need to know that is not the best job."<<

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First off: Drug abuse? Heard that before. No one cares.

Second off: No unions, that's a good thing.

Third off: You mean to tell me that this highly accident-prone profession in which you have to travel around the country forty five weeks out of the year isn't the best job out there?

I'll Be Damned

Turns out Benny Hinn is a giant douche.

Ted Nugent Tends To Be Right About A Number Of Things

Here's one of them: animal rights activists are terrorists.


>>Yet for the last five years Mrs Hudson, a 67-year-old widow, has attracted the attention of an international animal rights campaign. Her name, address and phone number are posted on a Florida-based activists' website, identifying her as a legitimate target in the fight to close a controversial guinea pig farm owned by the Hall family in Newchurch, Staffordshire.

Mrs Hudson is no vivisector, animal farmer or laboratory technician. She is simply the Hall family's cleaning lady. But in the highly charged atmosphere that has pervaded the campaign to shut Darley Oaks Farm since the Animal Liberation Front filmed guinea pigs in overcrowded conditions there six years ago, she is seen by some as a collaborator.

Bricks have been thrown through her windows, incendiary devices left outside her house, and a lifesize rag doll, with a noose round its neck, a knife in its chest and a note on its body saying: "This is me next," has been deposited at her front door. <<

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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Over At The Perspicaciously Titled Blog Of Anthropology

Gladiators invented sports entertainment and archaeologists fear losing a Roman village to bird shit.

What Did They Think The Pope Was Going To Say?



>>This morning, before I was released, one of my captors said, obviously deeply impressed that the Pope had appealed for my release: 'The Pope himself asked us to set you free,' he said. <<

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Seriously, they kidnapped an Archbishop! How many papal responses are there for the kidnapping of an Archbishop? Maybe they just assumed that the Pope wouldn't find out that some one had kidnapped an Archbishop.

Christian Conservative Groups Target Sponge Bob

I don't care, I hate that show. Linch the guy for all I care. Sponge Bob has gotten way too much media attention as of late, what with those stupid stories about giant Sponge Bob inflatables being stolen from the roofs of Burger Kings. I'll tell you who was stealing those giant inflatable Sponge Bobs, it was Burger King. The local news may not be able to see through a blatantly staged promotional stunt, but I can. Sponge Bob, gay? Fine, great. Let's go with it. Anything to get everyone else as irritated as I am.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

I'm Proud To Present:

The Perspicaciously Titled Blog Of Anthropology!!

Yeah, I’ve started a new blog. I’ve been wanting to do this for kind of a while, so I could keep track of anthropology related (and somewhat related) stories that I found interesting, without cluttering up this blog with a bunch of shit that no one finds interesting but me. But, isn’t that really the whole idea behind a blog. I don’t think I’ve yet to find anyone who enjoys the whole of my content. It’s always a fraction. Some people seem to enjoy it when I talk about religion, but couldn’t care less about my views on wrestling. Some like the wrestling, but could give or take all the religious talk.

Anyways, I’m currently working on turning the new blog into a group blog over the next couple of weeks, but for now it’s just me. The new blog will have pretty much nothing in common with this one, apart from the fact that it’s a bunch of shit that I find interesting. So there’s no reason to think that anyone who enjoys this blog might enjoy that blog. Although, I’ll alert you guys if there’s anything especially interesting going on over there. Like right now:

British Hindus lead Swastika friendly campaign and one hundred year old man who has only had sex with one woman in his entire life might be related to those Indonesian super dwarves, at The Perspicaciously Titled Blog Of Anthropology.

Christian Devotion Coupled With More Mysogyny......

....courtesy of Guy. If I awarded any sort of "quote of the day" accolade, it would probably go to this...


>>The Passion of the Christ is about as close to what actually happened as could possibly be. Sara is also a whore.<<

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Not All Conservatives Are As Smart As Me.....

...although I certainly don't like to think of myself as an exception.

But anyways. I volunteer to write for a new conservative paper on campus. I e-mail the editor this idea I have of getting drunk and hanging out with a soldier on leave from Iraq, and then writing a story about it. Her reply:


>> It doesn't look good on the part of the paper and it's a bit unprofessional.<<

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Unprofessional? UNPROFESSIONAL?!?! NO FUCKING SHIT!!! I'm not getting paid for this! Thus making it, by definition, unprofessional.

But seriously, folks. What's more American than a soldier on leave from Iraq sitting down and enjoying a few beers? I'll probably try and do the story anyway. If it gets rejected, like it seems it will, then I'll just throw it on this here blog.

Church Of England To Change Teachings On That Whole Murder Thing



>>The Church of England took a radical step towards backing 'mercy killing' of terminally ill patients last night after one of its leading authorities said that there was a 'strong compassionate case' for voluntary euthanasia.<<

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I'm Smarter Than The Anglican Bishop Of Worcester


>>The Bishop, the Rt Rev Peter Selby, said: “There is no reason why a Roman Catholic, advised by Ministers, who can be of any religious persuasion or none, could not be the supreme governor of the Church of England.”<<

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I'll Put Up With This, Just As Long As Dubya Doesn't Swear In Using A Mason's Bible

The Mason's save America from huge ecumenical scrap on day of Washington's inaguration.


>>As the first president of the United States arrived at New York's City Hall by horse-drawn carriage and prepared to step onto the open balcony that April 30 in 1789, it belatedly occurred to organizers that there ought to be a Bible on which Washington could take the oath of office.

One of the men at hand, parade marshal Jacob Morton, also happened to be master of the St. John's Lodge No. 1 of the Masons and offered to provide one from the lodge, located nearby at the corner of Water and Wall streets. The organization's 1767 King James Version was rushed to the hall and opened to Genesis, at the end of Chapter 49 and the beginning of Chapter 50, where Washington placed his hand for the ceremony.


"No church's Bible would have been acceptable to people of the various denominations," he explained. By using one owned by a fraternal organization instead of a Bible from one of New York's 22 different churches, a potential disagreement over the president favoring one denomination over another was avoided, Johnson said.<<

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Muhammad Hassan's finisher is a Camel Clutch!! A Middle Easterner using a Camel Clutch, who'd a thunk it?

And whilst I'm on the subject of Raw, being the clever guy that I am, I've decided to give Kane and Snitsky's bump from Monday night the title of: The "Are You OK?" Heard Around The World.

Not Unlike That Of The Christian Faith Community

Apparently the Orthodox Jewish community is pretty gung ho about Bush.


>>"We have an unprecedented opportunity today to have a true impact on the American political scene. Almost 70% of Orthodox Jews, compared to 23% Conservative, and 15% Reform Jews, cast their votes for President Bush."


"It is important to make sure the American majority knows we are part of that majority. That Orthodox Jews are not like the rest of the Jews and we are very much inline with the moral majority of America," he said. "We must begin to redefine ourselves internally within the Jewish community and make sure our voice is better heard."


"We are here as the oldest faith community in the entire world, the oldest monotheistic religion in the world. We are the religion that gave birth to all others and gave birth to society. And somehow we are outside that debate." By "we" he meant Orthodox Jews. <<

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Friday, January 14, 2005

Storm The Pope

Those damn kids and their affection for the Holy Father.


>>For the Italian police who help ensure the security of Pope John Paul II, terrorism is the biggest theoretical threat to the pope.

However, in the pope's day-to-day life, teenage and young adult faithful are the biggest real threat, they said.

The young people's devotion to the pope and their enthusiasm mean the police agents wage a constant battle against brave young souls willing to jump security barricades to touch the pope. <<

-end quote-

Bush, Like Reggae Music And The Pope, Is Doing His Part To Spread AIDS

Tiddily dum dum dum...


>>Clinton also maintained that the president's focus on abstinence in sex education was hampering efforts to halt the spread of HIV/AIDS, despite the UN's own admission that condom failure rate for preventing HIV transmission may be as high as 20 percent.

"ABC is a good strategy, but it has three parts to it and we need to remind the administration of that," she said. <<

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What amuses me about that whole "ABC" thing, is that I know that "A" stands for "Abstinence". But, I honestly have no clue what "B" and "C" are supposed to stand for.

We Greet You Spirit Of The North

Once again the Midwest Conservative Journal points out something ridiculous on an official church website, and it gets changed. Although this time it's Catholics committing the dead. Which, for me, makes it not so funny. Although if it's any consolation to myself (and I think it kind of is), it is the Arch Diocese of San Fransisco.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Aren't Cladistics Ironic

Humans just one gene short of not having HIV. It's like that good gene that you just didn't take during the evolutionary divergence betwixt anthropoids and cercopithecines . And who would have thought it'd figure?

That's Fine Journalism

Apparently, Kabbalah water is not the cure for cancer.


>>Expecting money might raise its ugly head, I asked: "The water is not a gift?"

"No, nothing is a gift, the water is not a gift, the Zohar is not a gift, as you know… There is the water cost. A case of 12 boxes costs £45 and the Zohar is £289. And the Shabbat meal is £26."<<

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Geez, holy water is free. And you can use that to kill vampires. Let's see Kabbalah water top that.


>>He told me about the meaning of life and the secrets of the universe, and volunteered a staggering piece of information: "Just to tell you another thing about the six million Jews that were killed in the Holocaust. The question was that the Light was blocked. They didn't use Kabbalah." <<

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Oh, well. I've sure been put in my place. Cause, apparently genocide is pervious to Kabbalah water.

Taking God's Creatures And Selectively Breeding Them To Make Them Cuter

I've been out of commission for the past three weeks, so this link is kinda old. It's me being interviewed by my close friend the Guy That No One Knows. I think it shows a different side of me then the one typically gets via this blog. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. I noticed he edited out my remarks about the Dutch. I have this schtick where I like to say really racist things about the Dutch, but only because my best friend is Dutch. I imagined that Guy edited out my racist comments because he worried that maybe they would be misinterpreted by those who weren't familiar with me on a more personal level.