Monday, November 29, 2004

 
The Man Is A Legend....

......who can't afford to pay his medical bills. But, that's just the sad reality behind professional wrestling. This show looks absolutely kick ass. Only fifteen bucks. Only a ninety minute drive from my place. The catch: it's the night before finals.

 
Actually, There's Great Religious Rock In Judaism. People Just Don't Know That

Some guy leads campaign against "The Hanukkah Song".

-quote-

>>Although the eight-day Jewish Festival of Lights does not begin until sundown December 7, Binyamin Jolkovsky, 35, of www.jewishworldreview.com is spearheading an effort to depose a pop song composed in 1996 by "Saturday Night Live" comedy idol Adam Sandler.

Simply named "The Hanukkah Song," and revised since its debut, the song is played widely on local rock stations such as WARW 94.7 FM. In 2002, it was featured on "Eight Crazy Nights," a made-for-TV Hanukkah movie. <<

-end quote-

Actually, "Eight Crazy Nights" was released in theaters. But, I salute them for thinking otherwise.

 
Say What You Want About Bush.....

...the guy knows how to close an interview.

-quote-

>>Listen, I've got to go eat a burger. Thank you all.<<

-end quote-

 
The Cos Is Just

Yeah, I know this article is a week old, I thought I'd point it out anyway, because it's Bill Cosby DAMMIT!!

-quote-

>>The child "hears you having sex in the room, he hears you arguing, he hears you cursing," Mr. Cosby said. "And then four days later, you bring another man into the house."

The audience of 2,500 packed into the Frederick Douglass High School gym gasped.

He told single fathers in the audience that being unemployed is no excuse for not being involved in their children's lives. And neither is having an acrimonious relationship with the child's mother.

The world-renowned entertainer, who has a doctorate in education, has been touring the United States and talking about the plight of black America. <<

-end quote-

First off, I had no idea that Bill Cosby had a doctorate, that might explain all the rampant common sense. But, assuredly, whenever anyone espouses this much common sense, someone's going to come along and say something stupid.

-quote-

>>"It's not as simple as 'get over it,' " Mr. Petty said. "We need Bill Cosby, instead of putting all this money behind colleges, to open up a rehabilitation center for when these guys come out of jail." <<

-end quote-

And Mr. Cosby needs you to stop telling him how to spend his own fucking money.


Tuesday, November 23, 2004

 
Ironic Nicknames

This line cracked me up.....

-quote-

>>Nicknamed the Hindu 'Pope', the 71-year-old Saraswathi is accused of ordering the murder of Thiru Sankararaman, a once-close aide who fell out with him last year. <<

-end quote-

....kinda like when you call a fat guy 'Slim'.



 
Church Is Hell On The Old Lungs

See, it turns out, church can kill you!

-quote-

>>The researchers analysed the particulate matter concentration found in the air of a small chapel and a large basilica in Maastricht following lengthy use of candles or a simulated service in which incense was burned.

Fine particulate matter is a major ingredient in air pollution. Consisting of solid particles with a diameter of 10 microns or less, it contains different types of toxic chemicals, including soot, metals and various carcinogenic molecules.

The particles can penetrate very deep into the lungs and trigger various lung and heart conditions.

The researchers found that, after nine hours of candle-burning, the church air had PM10 levels of 600 to 1000 micrograms per cubic metre - more than four times higher than before the start of the first morning mass.

This represents 12 to 20 times the European allowed average concentration over 24 hours.
The study also found very high concentrations of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, also known to be carcinogenic.
<<

-end quote-

Now maybe this doesn't seem like such a ridiculous idea?..........ehh, no....

 
I Was Just Wondering......

How do they decipher betwixt Islamophobia and plain old racism? I know that whenever someone throws a rock at me, I usually don't reply "Hey, are you doing this because of my race or my religion? I need to know, just in case the BBC asks me to fill out a questionaire", I usually just run.

 
Reggae Contributing To Spread Of HIV In Jamaica

Lordie mercy!

-quote-

>>International Development Minister Gareth Thomas fears that discrimination against homosexuals is deterring people from being tested for HIV.

......

"A number of artistes are effectively contributing to the spread of HIV by producing reggae and rap songs actually encouraging discrimination against those who have Aids and encouraging violence against minority groups such as men who have sex with men," he will say. <<

-end quote-

On a serious note, yeah that's a load of crap. Like some dumbass with a religious objection to soap (OF ALL THINGS!!) jumping around yelling "Rumpumting! Rumpumting!" is going to encourage anyone to do anything.

 
How Is It That Cartoon Network Is More Audacious Than Fox

I've already seen this episode twice. On Cartoon Network. CARTOON NETWORK!! A channel with the word "cartoon" in the title. And they've already aired this episode on multiple occasions. MORE THAN ONCE!

-quote-

>>In an extra on the DVD version, creator Seth McFarlane mentions that he had vetted the episode with several Jewish scholars — he declines to say who — and notes they had no problems with it.

...........

The series, which is known to be universally insulting about almost every ethnic group, had never been censored by Fox before — despite other episodes that joked about bestiality and even suggested infant homosexuality.<<

-end quote-






 
It Has To Be Said Pt. II

Randy Savage is retarded.



Thursday, November 18, 2004

 
The Greatest Secret Metaphorical Alliance In History

Reagan and the Pope.

-quote-

>>Reagan's aim was to keep the pope informed, which included showing him satellite photos of Soviet deployments of troops and weapons in Poland and other East European members of the Soviet bloc, he said.

......

Casey would fly secretly to Rome in a windowless C-141 black jet and "be taken undercover to the Vatican," said Allen.

.....

One possible benefit of showing the pope satellite photos of Soviet missile deployments in Eastern Europe was a lack of papal criticism of a counterdeployment of U.S. weapons in Western Europe, he said.

......
"On arms control, they thought we were too hard on the Russians," he said.

But in private one-on-one meetings with the pope, his attitude and gestures showed that he supported Reagan, said Rowny."

He (the pope) had to be careful in what he said," Rowny added.<<

-end quote-

Being that I adamently hate communism, there's something about that combination of the Pope and Reagan that I've always found totally badass. Like Battletoads/Double Dragon or whenever I imagine Ted Nugent hanging out with Charlton Heston talking about their guns.

I just mentioned that article because it got me PUMPED UP!! Secret meetings between the Pope and the President, satellite photos, windowless C-141 black jets!!! It'd make for a kickass Lillingtons song.

 
Scene Removed From Muhammad Movie So As Not To Alienate One Of Their Key Demographics......

....Egyptian archaeologists.

-quote-

>>The movie has already appeared in the Middle East, where one scene was cut by Egyptian censors. They argued that the images of Muslims destroying pharaonic-looking idols in Mecca could spark a backlash against Egypt's rich archaeological heritage.<<

-end quote-

Hmmm, this movie sounds pretty interesting. But, before I'm going to fork over the $5.75 (student discount, fuck yeah) to see this flick, I really want to hear the asinine conjectures of some random couple on the street.

-quote-

>>"The people here are ignorant. They just see (Osama) bin Laden, and to them, that's what Muslims are," said Marie Edwards, referring to the Al-Qaida leader who masterminded the Sept. 11 attacks.

Her husband, David Edwards, however, was more optimistic.

"Islam is terribly misunderstood ... Personally, I think it's a good religion," he said. "And I'm an atheist."<<

-end quote-






 
The Cos Is Good

I couldn't respect him more. Oh, I could try. I would not be successful.

-quote-

>>In the 1980s, "The Cosby Show" came out of seeing so many sitcoms with children smarter than their parents. It seemed many comedy writers had bad relationships with their parents and were trying to retaliate, he said. He wanted to depict parents as strong role models.<<

-end quote-

 
Why Is That Professional Wrestlers Are Better At Finding Religion Than Mainstream Celebrities?

Jim Carrey's not horribly bright.

-quote-

>>"I'm a Buddhist, I'm a Muslim, I'm a Christian. I'm whatever you want me to be...it all comes down to the same thing," he tells Kroft. Carrey says he believes they are all the same God and it is this conviction and spirituality that make him happy.<<

-end quote-

 
The Sacrifices We Must Make As Americans

The weekend a buddy of mine scores free tickets to a Raw house show at the Cobo Arena in Detroit, and my favorite wrestler is over in the Middle East visiting our troops, along with Ric Flair and Chris Benoit.



Wednesday, November 17, 2004

 
The Post Below

The post below is another academic venture I've decided to post on my blog. As I've mentioned before, I only post this shit on here because I've had a couple of friends tell me that they enjoy reading it. Feel free to skip it and go on to my post about Sting. I'm going to go on the record as saying that I think Scott Hall is going to be the next professional wrestler to find Jesus, even though that seems kind of obvious. I'd say X-Pac, but X-Pac has a sex tape to promote, and seeing how nobody wants to see it, he's got his work cut out for him. What I'd really like to do is start a pot, get a bunch of people to chip in ten bucks and try to guess who will be the next pro wrestler to find Jesus.

With that being said, I'm pretty proud of the essay below. It got a great reaction from the class. And as I walked back to my seat, I noticed the professor was wiping tears from his eyes. He then told me that he really hopes I plan on attending graduate school. Not because I'm smart or anything, but just because I'm more entertaining then the average anthropology grad student.

All of this was pretty exciting, considering I threw it together the day it was due. Although, I'm really starting to think that's a really good thing. Like Christopher Guest once put it; "It's a thin line between clever and stupid". And often times when I finish writing up an essay such as the one below, I find myself wondering if it's really clever or really really stupid. When I do the project at the last minute, then I don't give myself a chance to second guess myself. The only problem is when I have to read the essay in front of the class, then instead of just worrying about whether the professor is going to think I'm really clever or really really stupid, I have to worry about whether a room full of people are going to think I'm really clever or really really stupid.

I got lucky this time.

 
Here's A Pre-Scripted Seven Minute Oral Presentation I Gave Yesterday

Over the weekend I sat down with a few friends to watch the 1979 classic The Amityville Horror, starring James Brolin and Margot Kidder and directed by Stuart Rosenberg. One particular scene, in which a nun vomits sonorously, caused my friends and I to realize that the meshing of religion and regurgitation makes for a highly whimsical juxtaposition indeed. We then proceeded to rewind it and watch the scene again, about five or six times. It was with this sentiment in mind that I was enticed to take a closer look at an article, featured in the August 1977 issue of American Ethnographer, by Frank E. Manning titled The Salvation Of A Drunk.

The article analyzes one particular service held at a Pentecostal church in 1970s Bermuda, at a time and place in which Revivalist Protestantism was running rampant. The congregation of this particular church is predominantly black and predominantly lower class. The congregation is led by one of the few black preachers amongst the army of white evangelists bringing faith healing and prosperity sermons to the people of Bermuda.

The weekly evangelistic services held at this particular church are usually several hours in length, with a half hour chunk broadcasted live on the radio, and follow no predetermined format or schedule. The choir sings, the people dance, and the pastor preaches as the Holy Ghost compels them to, supposedly. The choir will often sing the same chorus over and over again for fifteen or twenty minutes. This along with frenzied dancing and people speaking in tongues produces for many a trance like euphoria. As the author puts it; “Younger members of the church often compared the phenomenon to the effect of drugs, while others generally likened it to alcohol- in both cases the habits they left behind at conversion”.

On the evening in question a man who is quite obviously drunk approaches the front of the church during the altar call. The choir sings on as the drunk becomes sicker and sicker and the preacher offers a spiritual interpretation of the man’s physical condition. He declares the drunkard’s queasiness to be a manifestation of a battle between Christ and Satan. When the drunk throws up, the preacher tells the congregation that the vomit is Satan. He then proceeded to shake the guy and scream, in an apparent effort to induce further vomiting. After the drunk had puked for the fourth time the preacher declared; “At least four demons came out of this brother tonight. The last to come out was a demon of lust”.

Sawdust is brought out to cover the vomit and the preacher returns to the pulpit to make a few closing announcements and dismiss the congregation. Two men carry the drunk guy out and give him a ride home. After this point in the narrative, the author offers us this analysis of the juxtaposition of religious and empirical interpretations experienced by those involved in the scenario:

From a religious viewpoint they recognized his symptoms as the manifestation of a violent struggle between Jesus and Satan, resolved when the demonic forces were driven out and the man was thereby saved. From an empirical viewpoint they knew enough to hold him up, to cover his vomit with sawdust, and to arrange eventually for his transportation home.”

The author then goes on to offer this rather clever analogy, comparing the devil vomit to the Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation:

According to the traditional doctrine of transubstantiation, bread and wine become the actual divine substance, not merely iconic representations of it. Yet they are recognized as retaining their former physical characteristics.

In the Pentecostal service alcohol vomit is transformed into Satan in the process of expulsion. The change takes place at the structural climax, the altar call. Its nature is revealed not in doctrine but in the spontaneous interpretation of the minister and other ritual actors. Finally, the transformed substance is recognized as having the physical properties of something else. Thus it is necessary to cover the vomit with sawdust in order to obscure its unsightly appearance and unpleasant smell.


The keywords here, I believe, would have to be “not in doctrine but in the spontaneous interpretation”. This article does a fabulous job of deconstructing the off the cuff and non-liturgical nature of Revivalist Protestantism, and Pentecostalism in particular, which often entails a sort of impromptu canonization of a seemingly asinine theology. The preacher some how possessed the spiritual insight to not only decipher that the guy was puking up demons, but to actually identify specific regurgitations as specific demons, i.e. the demon of lust which constituted his fourth disgorge.

All of this reminded me of a recent documentary I had seen on the CBC about evangelist Benny Hinn. They showed, in great detail, how his evangelistic services are intentionally constructed to appear spontaneous, whilst at the same time following a rigid schedule and format. However, the spirit led revivalist service is a very real phenomenon. And when not manufactured by tax-exempt corporations, they’re quite fascinating. As to whether these services are actually guided by the Holy Spirit, I don’t care, I just think it’s funny that they thought the dude’s puke was Satan. Either way, faith healers, prosperity sermons, and revival services are quite popular in Bermuda, which actually has the most churches per square mile of any country.

As for ethical issues, I would probably question the rectitude of trying to convert some one who isn’t sober, let alone to drunk to stand up. But, that’s hardly an issue for the ethnographer to be concerned with, and he points out in the article that whilst visiting the church he met two other people who were converted while drunk. The pastor didn’t mind, and the drunk guy didn’t seem to mind, as he was back in that church two days later giving his testimony.

As for jargon, it was for the most part kept to a minimum. I wasn’t forced to read any passages over again, and given my ineptitude, I take that to mean that he probably dumbed it down a bit. I’m assuming that the article was intended to be read by anthropologists and other academics alike, because on the first page of the journal it mentioned that people who belong to certain anthropological and academic groups could get a subscription for a much cheaper price than the general public.

The author seems to take on the roll of a passive participant. He doesn’t say anything to anyone, really. Until after the service when he asks some one why that guy threw up so much, and the person replies; “Probably because he was really drunk”.

In my experience, entering into a religious setting under the pretense of mere academic interest can be very liberating. Knowing that you’re there to document their activities, people tend to talk to you as though you’re a camcorder.

As for what kind of real world benefits this research might have, I found the article to be more entertaining then anything, as the subject matter was a religious connotation for throwing up. Although on second thought, I imagine that his deconstruction of the spontaneity of Pentecostal services has considerable value. Especially to Pentecostals, who may view Manning’s narrative as a positive testament to their particular style of worship and evangelistic zeal.


 
The Humble Man Called Sting

So Sting was on the 700 Club, or is going to be, whatever. Apparently, God allowed Vince McMahon to buy out WCW so that Sting could be released from his contract with Ted Turner. Whatever.



 
Our Lady Of A Sandwich

I saw this on the news yesterday and I was hoping to find a story online, maybe even a picture.

BAM!!!

Frankly, I don't buy it. Because, if the Blessed Mother were to appear in a sandwich, she would most definitely appear in this.......

Oh yeah....the Monte Cristo. Now that's a sandwich fit for the Queen of Heaven and Earth.

 
Apparently, I Have Every Right To Be Angry At A Media That Stereotypes Me As A Gomer

You know, I had a hunch that I wasn't a huge fucking retard. And check out the opening remark, it sounds oddly familiar, as if he were paraphrasing someone....

-quote-

>>Watch or read the media and you get the sense that the only people who voted for Bush were tobacco-chewin', gun-totin', G-d-fearin' simpletons.

......

Then, how do you explain this: Buried at the bottom of hundreds of election statistics on CNN's website is this: 52% of college graduates voted for Bush vs. only 46% for Kerry. <<

-end quote-


 
For Some Reason This Inspires Me To Write A Yankovic-esque Parody Of "Pieces Of Me"

Joe Simpson offers us this paragon for his daughters recent lipsynching scandal....

-quote-

>>You would have thought we got an abortion or we were doing cocaine.<<

-end quote-

 
You Know You've Crossed The Line...

....when.....

-quote-

>>Even Islamic terror groups condemned the murder of British-Iraqi aid worker Margaret Hassan yesterday, while Muslims in New York shook their heads in disgust.<<

-end quote-

Apparently, Hamas does draw the line somewhere. Keyword being "somewhere".

 
Bad News And Bad News

Savage is still retarded. Vince McMahon is still losing his grasp on what the fans want.

Don't bother checking the links out, I'll give you the condensed versions. McMahon is enforcing a new policy in which he won't hire anyone under 225, which makes perfect sense, when you take into consideration the immense popularity TNA is gaining with their X-Division. And Savage won't work for TNA unless they give him a limo, his own private dressing room, and this guy to protect him from Hulk Hogan.

He may be able to crush pineapples with his bare hands. But, pineapples don't HULK UP, BROTHER!


Saturday, November 13, 2004

 
Vagina Lady Introduces New, Equally Platitudinous, Play

I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really hate that woman.

-quote-

>>The play is what I found. It’s political in the sense that we live in this sort of capitalist tyranny that is constantly thrusting images and ideas on us of what we are supposed to be every minute of our lives. It’s psychological in terms of where we come from as children and what’s said to us about ourselves. There’s a huge spiritual component to it. If you look at the Judeo-Christian impact of this idea of what women are supposed to be within the monotheism religion—it’s incredibly repressive and reductive.<<

-end quote-

 
Because If There's One Thing These Guys Know How To Do, It's Adressing Issues In A Smart And Funny Way

Saved! duo gets TV deal.

-quote-

>>"I think the main thing is that currently on TV, there are so few shows that reflect the times that we live in," said Dannelly, who directed the critically praised "Saved!" from a script he wrote with Urban. "We live in these exiting, divided, really interesting times, and I think there is a way to address those issues in a smart, funny way." <<

-end quote-

Ok, now everyone, all together: Ughh!



 
It Needs To Be Said....

Randy Savage is retarded.

 
You Know They Also Believe There To Be More Than Two Sexes?

Panchayat council in Indian state of Haryana decided that husband and wife were actually brother and sister. But, who am I as an uneducated, ethnocentric Westerner to say what is and isn't a "sibling"? Or what is and isn't "retarded" for that matter.

-quote-

>>"They told Sonia to take me on as her brother. But she refused point-black. She said, 'he's my husband. How can he be my brother?' <<

-end quote-

Geez, that's almost....logical. Err, I mean, they need to learn to appreciate their own culture, which is exempt from judgment, like all other cultures, except mine.


 
Expressing The Necessity To Abolish Taboos And Move Forward?

Mikhail Gorbachev awards Cat Stevens the "Man For Peace" award. The Blog Of The Hurricane awards Mikhail Gorbachev the "Man In A Cave On Mars With His Eyes Closed And His Fingers In His Ears" Award.

 
And Eff Maroon 5 Too

Yesterday my good friend Steve pointed out to me that Alex Shelley has a blog. Does get any cooler than a quasi-regularly updated blog by a professional wrestler? How about decent taste in music?

-quote-

>> Eff you if you don't like The Misfits. They're more entertaining than Blood Runs Warm Until Sunday or whatever other emo shit's so big now.<<

-end quote-

And of course, stories from the road, which are always cool. Who doesn't appreciate hearing about the not so glamorous side of professional wrestling? Plus, he's pretty insightful...

-quote-

>>I figured out that Lodi's look was taken from Billy Idol and Lodi spells Idol backwards. <<

-end quote-

 
You On Assistance And Me On The Pill?

A birth control pill for dudes?

-quote-

>>In a study published today in Science, researchers say they have developed a reversible, immunocontraceptive injection that works 78% of the time — at least in monkeys. Scientists have yet to prove whether men are similar enough to monkeys for the shot to work for them, too.

......

But the vaccine is far from perfect, O'Rand says. Two of the seven monkeys — or 29% — remained infertile after the shots stopped.<<<

-end quote-

Hmm, so it's not quite good enough for monkeys? Hell, I'm sold.

-quote-

>>Yet it may be harder to win over women, many of whom are used to taking responsibility for preventing pregnancy, she says.

“If you are the woman,” Benoff says, “you are the one who's going to be pushing out the 8-pound bowling ball, so you really have to trust that he's going to do what he says he's going to do.”<<

-end quote-

It's like they've invented a wonderful new lie to help men get laid.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

 
This Can Only Be A Good Thing

Take this for whatever it's worth (which I think could be significant)....

-quote-

>>Read into this what you will, but many people were saying that The Hurricane's bio on WWE.com's RAW Superstars page was removed. The bio is now back up, and only time will tell if this was a WWE.com error or if The Hurricane is the next to go. Keep in mind that Hurricane is very close backstage with head RAW writer Brian Gerwitz.<<

-end quote-

Billy Gunn was just released this week and he has already signed with TNA. So, I've actually found myself getting kind of excited at WWE's recent firing frenzy. And it isn't over yet. They say there should be two more releases anounced within the next week, I'd be surprised if that was it. It's sort of odd to see the WWE panicking and cutting so much of their talent whilst TNA is less than twenty four hours away from their first ever three hour PPV. Maybe we could soon be seeing things change for the better. With Victory Road and Survivor Series within one week of each other, it'll definitely be interesting to see how the buyrates turn out for both of those PPVs. One thing seems some what certain, TNA couldn't have picked a better time to start bring the fight to the WWE.

One little sidenote: my posts are going to be scarce over the next week or so, as I've got quite a few "projects" I need to get taken care of.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

 
WWE Fans Boo Allah

Boy was I stoked on Monday night to see a promo from those two new Arab wrestlers. I'm glad to see that the WWE has decided to go through with this gimmick. The last place I want to see political correctness is in professional wrestling. And with that in mind, I was quite amused when the crowd booed after Muhammad Hassan said "Praise to Allah". Some might try to argue that maybe the crowd was booing out of disgust. If the crowd was disgusted, they would have kept quiet. No sir, this is a pro wrestling crowd and it's most typical. And I'm looking forward to this. It should definitely make for some exciting TV, something RAW hasn't been in quite some time.

Although, it looks like the WWE has decided to do a little bit of damage control for all those watchdog moms out there.

-quote-

>>WWE is introducing two new Arab-American characters on Monday Night RAW. Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari are U.S. citizens who have grown up in America. They love their country. However, they now face a new and different kind of relationship with their fellow U.S. citizens as a result of being Arab-American in a United States still struggling with the tragic events of September 11, 2001. RAW will explore the challenges Hassan and Daivari face as Hassan tries to make his mark as a new WWE Superstar under the guidance of Daivari as his manager.<<

-end quote-




Tuesday, November 02, 2004

 
Cheney Visits Dimondale

Actually, I've never even heard of Dimondale. But, some of you may recall that on Thurseday night I proudly declared that I was off to see the Vice President of the United States of America. I was actually volunteering at the event. I was working as one layer of security. My job was to weed out the unwelcomables. Apparently, this was an invitation only event. It was a cool job, except during Cheney's speech, whenever some Kerry supporter would yell something out and then procede to get their ass hauled out of the building by security, I would cringe slightly knowing that at some point over the last three hours I let that person through. Mind you, the Kerry supporters were quite cleverly disguised in non-partisan outfits. For instance, T-shirts that don't say anything.

There were only three people who ended up yelling derogatory shit at the Vice President. Out of a thousand, I suppose that's not so bad. The first two people who yelled, yelled something about the war. But, the third person who yelled something was standing right next to me. And what did she yell? "WHERE'S THE HEALTH CARE?!?!"

Oh sweet shit did I ever get the jolly giggles on that one. Here this little idealistic college girl sneaked her way into a Cheney rally to scream about health care OF ALL THINGS!!

Anyways, at one point in his speech Cheney made a point that the Bush administration was going to make sure that the Great Lakes water stayed in the Great Lake states.

Three things about this.

1. I didn't know this was an issue until that very moment when Cheney brought it up.

2. I still don't know any of the implications of this particular issue.

3. I screamed approvingly none the less.

Cheney said that they were going to let us keep the Great Lakes and I retort with a big "FUCK YEAH!!!". I didn't know it was an issue, or why it's important to keep our lakes to ourselves. But "FUCK YEAH!!" none the less. I was caught up in the moment.

And after the event I got to shake hands with the Vice President of the United States of America. Fuck yeah.

When I got back I found I had a new e-mail from Students For Bush. The Bush Twins were going to be making an appearance at a huge fucking rally at the MSU vs. U of M game. Apparently, this was going to be the LARGEST STUDENT RALLEY IN HISTORY!!

"Let's see," I said to myself.

"I could drive all the way to Ann Arbor to see the Bush Twins from a distance, when just a month ago I walked a couple of blocks and got to talk to them. Fuck that."

So I went back to Hastings and went to a pretty kick ass Holloween rock show. Anyways, from what I'm reading, it looks like Bush is going to lose Michigan. So all my work was for nothing. Motherfucker.

 
Window Cleaner In The Nun's Tuna, That's A First

Dude tried to kill a nun to get more attention from priest.

-quote-

>>A Gallup man has confessed to police that he tried to kill a nun with poison two years ago because he wanted more attention from a priest.

Derek Kolb told officers he tried to kill 81-year-old Sister Mary Margret two years ago because he wanted her out of the way. The 19 year old said he felt he was competing with the nun for the attention of Father Tom Maikowski.

Kolb confessed that he laced cereal with toxic acid and mixed the nun’s tuna with window cleaner. Sister Mary Margret was not seriously injured.<<

-end quote-



 
Fuck Yeah

Looks like Tarantino has announced that his next film will be a full blown kung fu movie, equipped with Mandarin dialogue and campy English overdubs.