Tuesday, September 28, 2004

 
I Don't Know Why I Feel The Need To Share This With All Of You, But Anyways....

Ok, here's a little snippet of a concerned e-mail I just got from my geology laboratory instructor....

Ron- In grading your sedimentary lab for this week I noticed that the majority is incomplete. Your current score on the lab along with missing last week's lab session creates some problems. If you struggled with this lab and would like a second shot at it, feel free to come to section 5 tomorrow (Wednesday the 29th) at 10:20-12:10 and submit a second lab.

I hope this doesn't come off as condescending or anything. But, I was amused by the fact that she thought somehow a second shot at the lab assignment would help, considering just how miserably I did on the lab assignment. I suppose it would be kind of like watching that shitty ass shark movie, Open Water, and then saying "well, maybe we should give them a second shot at trying to make a scary shark movie, maybe that would make things alright". Clearly it wouldn't, because those guys obviously know jackshit about how to make a shark movie that's even remotely scary. Holy fuck did that movie suck!

Anyways, here's a copy of the e-mail I wrote in reply.....

Dear Ms. R***,

I want you to know that I greatly appreciate your concern. This class is very important to me, as I need it to fulfill my natural sciences requirement which I need to graduate this year.

However, ever since middle school I've always been horrible in laboratory settings. I have pretty bad social anxiety which makes it impossible for me to talk to other people, and I never seem to understand anything that's going on. I feel stupid asking any questions, because my problems are extremely rudimentary. There's this part of me that over the years has always secretly suspected that my laboratory teachers were sending out e-mails to everyone in the class except me, telling them crucial information you need to be of any use in that class.

My goal with this class was to try and minimalize the damage that I was going to copitulate in lab and try to do decently on the tests, hopefully sneaking out with a passing grade. I find that I do alright following the lectures, but in lab it just seems that something isn't clicking in my brain. It also doesn't help that the labs usually have nothing to do with the lectures. Although that's kind of a mute point.

I most likely won't be able to make it to the lab on Wednesday.

Like I already said, I greatly appreciate your concern, or any insight you may be able to provide, as I can't afford to fail this class. I find it extremely difficult to ask for help, as my problem is that I literally understand none of it.

Sincerely,
Ronald Charles Whiting II

I know that you're all probably thinking that I'm a huge fucking retard. Here's my thought process behind this: 1. I always do horrible in lab. 2. This is due to a combination of social anxiety and ineptness at the subject matter. 3. Obviously, since I've yet to fulfill my natural sciences requirement, I've yet to figure out a way to overcome this scenario. 4. Why don't we try a new approach?

So, I guess, the approach I've decided to take with it this time is to be painfully honest with my lab instructor. Instead of trying to address the issue of my incompetence, why don't I just come out and tell her what's really bothering me? I'm actually not sure if this is a good idea. But, my previous methods have been failing me for years. Might as well give it a shot. I guess.

 
What The Fuck.....

.....of course it's the right time! Doesn't anyone remember Sgt. Slaughter during the first Iraqi war? Sure they had to relocate Wrestlemania VII for fear that a sniper was going to try and take Slaughter out. But still, that was one entertaining gimmick. Does anyone remember the Iron Sheik carrying around pictures of the Ayatolla Homeini?

 
Hitman To Make Theatrical Debut

I haven't quite decided what I think about this, except that that picture ranks up there with any picture of the Alpha Male Monty Brown.

 
SSSSNNNNIIIITTTSKKKYYYY!!!! Skadeedle!!

It seems that the stupidest aspect of WWE television nowadays is that they're bringing in wrestlers simply to do one thing, that no one else on the roster should be subjected to, and then leave. This is obviously due to lack of talent on both rosters. And this is obviously a problem that wouldn't need to be addressed if the brand extension wasn't an issue.

We've got Viscera and Gangrel making a come back on Smackdown, simply so the Undertaker can have some one to go over. The original plan was for a feud with Heidenriech, but with their intentions of making him out to be a monster, a feud with the Undertaker would quickly kill that. Well, they still need some big guys for the Undertaker to beat up, so they sign these two to a two or three week contract. The Undertaker beats them, they go away, and no permanent member of the roster is scathed.

On Raw, they need some one to kill Kane's baby. Murder would obviously tarnish anyone's reputation with the fans for a lengthy period of time. So they bring this Snitsky guy in, he kills Kane's baby, and Kane is most likely going to anialate him.

But, amongst all of this non-sense, what in the hell is the thought process behind having a temporary roster member/huge fucking greenhorn going over a veteran/former IC champion like Val Venis?

Also, while it was nice to see the Hurricane and Rosey take the victory last night, I thought there was a little bit of ball dropping. Apart from having them go against the top face tag team, they didn't really do anything to further establish the Hurricane's heel status. I kept waiting for a post match beat down. Wrestling fans, like myself, have a very short attention span. We're awfully likely to forget that the two weeks ago the Hurricane snatched his mask back from the little kid in the front row. But, like I already said, I'll be surprised if this actually goes anywhere.

 
Fat Turtle!

Alright, I got the template back to normal. I also added a new link, and I'll go on the record as saying that White Ninja Comics is the funniest thing on the internet.

Monday, September 27, 2004

 
Hurricane In Columbia

Alright, apparently yesterday at a house show in Columbia, the Hurricane jobbed to Tyson Tomco. This indicates two things. First off, the Hurricane is still jobbing to even the shittiest of performers, as is to be expected. And two, the Hurricane is yet to be considered a full fledged heel.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

 
I Ain't Got Time To Vote

So he plans to run for President in 2008, but has no intention of even voting in 2004?

-quote-

""Look at the position I'm in," said Ventura, who served as Minnesota governor from 1999-2003. "If I vote for John Kerry, I'm going to get my taxes raised."

Bush won't get his vote because of the president's positions on social issues, including his opposition to gay marriage and stem cell research, Ventura said.

"It scares me when a president says he won't support stem cell research because it goes against God," Ventura said Wednesday.

"I have news for you. If you're waiting for God to cure Alzheimer's, then we are going to be waiting a long time.""

-end quote-

Hey yeah!! Great point, Body!! Except that scientists have already conceded that embryonic stem cell research can do jackshit for Alzheimer's.

 
Putting Over The Bus

My good friend Steve pointed out this little entry in Lance Storm's online commentary that I thought was hillarious and a pretty good summation of WCW during their latter day downfall.

 
"Big" Heel Turn?

-quote-

"As if there were any doubt, the plan is definitely to turn Hurricane heel. The feeling internally is that Hurricane's gimmick as a face superhero went as far as it could go and WWE now needs to explore options for Hurricane as a heel. "

-end quote-

For the record, I'll be surprised if this heel turn actually goes anywhere.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

 
Yeah, She's An Idiot

Madonna in Israel?

Madonna, wearing a green-and-white patterned dress, said she was
hesitant to come to Israel "after seeing so many news reports about terror attacks."

"I realize now that it is no more dangerous to be
here than it is to be in New York," she told the gathering.



Huh?


The singer said she was not representing a religion. Rather, she said, "I'm here as a student of Kabbalah."


Huh?

 
Snitsky

The Hurricane is finally back from his little nose injury, and back jobbing again. Fortunately, last night on Raw we finally saw the Hurricane undergo the long awaited heal turn. But, to be honest, I'll be extremely surprised if this actually goes anywhere. Remember when Rosey became a full fledged super hero? That didn't go anywhere. Remember when Stacy Keibler started accompanying the Hurricane and Rosey to the ring? That didn't go anywhere.

I'm going to leave the template the way it is, for the time being. If anything exciting becomes of this heal turn, maybe I'll change it back. For now, it's not worth my time.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

 
Some Quick Thoughts On This Sunday's PPV

(I already posted this over on "the forum", so I guess I'm being lazy)

So the IC title is now vacant and we get one match to determine the new champion. No tournament, no battle royal. That's horse shit.

HBK vs. Kane is most likely going to be a good match and a quasi main event. Problem: HBK hasn't been on Raw and the PPV is this Sunday. The only momentum pushing this match is one altercation that happened two months ago. And this match isn't really revolving around an HBK/Kane feud, it's revolving around the Lita/Kane feud. And HBK deserves much better than that. That's horse shit.

Reagal and Benoit vs. Flair and Batista. What kind of cluster fuck excuse for a match is this? That's horse shit.

Tajiri and Rhyno vs. La Resistance. That match should have happend at Summer Slam. That's horse shit.

Trish Stratus defends her title against...uh...against....wait a minute....who is Trish Stratus defending her title against? That's horse shit.

There will probably be something involving the Diva Search. That's horse shit.

HHH vs. Orton....I see that this is most likely going to be the first match in a long standing feud. So I'll try to look at the bigger picture here. But, if these last couple of weeks are any indicator, Orton may not have much going for him outside of an HHH feud. He needs to be cocky, he needs to be making fun of the fat people in the audience, he needs to beat up old people. Just because Evolution turned on him doesn't mean he has to stop being an ass. But, then again, that's just the past couple of weeks, and the past couple of weeks have involved him going after and running away from Evolution. So I guess it's understandable. But, after Sunday he needs to beat up another old person and soon. So yeah....that's horse shit.

 
How To Make Love Like A Dead Porn Star

I'm a couple days behind on the whole Jenna Jameson/Undertaker connection, but anyway......

-quote-

"I was surprised when she devoted 2 pages to talking about meeting the Undertaker. She says that he is the weirdest man she ever met, and she has messed with Tommy Lee and Marilyn Manson. She said that he almost lives his character and that he threatened her boyfriend cause he wanted to be with her. She said she got so frightened that she ran running out of the club immediately."

-end quote-

This particularly caught my attention, because I know how the Dead Man likes to keep up appearances. But, this sort of has me wondering if the man himself actually wanted to hook up with Jammeson, or if the character of the Undertaker wanted to hook up. I guess there's no way to ever really know.

Friday, September 03, 2004

 
Way Too Good To Be True

Only in the world of punk rock blogging can I get a whole book's worth of interviews, betwixt the lead singers of my two all time favorite bands, discussing songwriting. I'd highly recomend that all of you who read my blog, and don't come here via Ben Weasel's or Dr. Frank's blogs, read every single one of these installments. Especially those of you who dabble in songwriting (you know who you are, and you know I know who you are). Anyone who knows me knows that I think that Dr. Frank is hands down the greatest songwriter ever. I haven't read any of the interviews yet and I can already guarantee you that this will be a hell of a lot more insightful than that movie about Metallica talking about their feelings.

 
No Shit

This was my favorite part of the RNC...

-quote-

"There are those who still say that there was no reason to liberate Iraq. They ask about weapons of mass destruction.

On September 11th in New York we learned that in the hands of a monster, a box cutter is a weapon of mass destruction.

And Saddam Hussein was a monster, a walking, talking weapon of mass destruction"

-end quote-

Pataki was like the Rock of the RNC last night. How about that "...and he did" catchphrase? I kept waiting for him to stop and say, "This ain't sing-a-long with the Governor".

 
The Blog Equivalent Of The Chronovisor

I just noticed that there's this little feature that allows me to change the little link at the bottom of each post which specifies the time that each post was posted. I wonder if this means I could make two posts at once.

 
Let's See...........

Did this work?

edit: Yes, it did work. This is awesome. Now I can report events before they even happen. Or at least make it look like I did.

edit again: I've just decided that these two posts about blog time travel were kind of silly. So I've decided to already start exploiting blog time traveling and make it so that I made these two posts this morning, so that people will assume I made these posts whilst still drowzy and not quite thinking straight.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

 
Oh Snap!

-quote-

"Sabu is still sidelined with what appears to be a serious back problem. He may need surgery soon."

 
..........this again?

Once again The Passion is in the news. It was released on DVD on Tuesday and has already sold two million copies. Impressive. Now, how long till Jesus surpasses Family Guy?

When The Passion came out in theaters I kept my comments to a minimum. I had a lot of thoughts on it. But, a lot of people had a lot of thoughts, and I figured my thoughts weren’t that interesting in the grand spectrum of all those people and all their thoughts. And maybe people were getting sick of thoughts. But, I was having thoughts nonetheless. Now, it’s back in the news and I think maybe I’ll share a thought or two. I’ll try to keep it minimal. Obviously, I loved the movie. But, that’s not really the thought I wanted to get into.

One of the things I’ve really appreciated over the past couple of months is how this little movie has exposed the extent to which Hollywood doesn’t understand Christianity. Obviously, there’s Saved. There was South Park’s retarded little commentary. There’s Patton Oswald comparing the Crucifixion of Christ to Einstein having diarrhea.

And can some one tell me why in the hell the South Park guys are releasing their Passion Of The Jew episode on DVD? Not only did this episode cross the line from belittling the movie to actually belittling Christianity, it wasn’t even funny. In the past, their efforts at making fun of Catholics, Mormons, and Christian rock were funny. This episode wasn’t (really, they should do a special DVD release of Scott Tetterman Must Die, I saw that episode again last night and damn if that isn't one of the most fucked up, funniest things I've ever seen).

On top of that, some of the statements made in this episode were flat out erroneous. For instance, the priest telling the kids that the Bible tells little about the Crucifixion and The Passion is nothing more than one man’s interpretation of those events. Sure, the Bible doesn’t seem to say a hell of a whole lot. But, a significant portion of the content of the film comes from the Stations Of The Cross and other various Catholic traditions, which aren’t to be found in the New Testament. Sure, there was the occasional devil baby and of course Jesus stomping on the snake. But, apart from that, I saw very little in the movie which I didn’t recognize from scripture or tradition.

Ok, the episode wasn’t funny and they don’t seem to know what they’re talking about. I can let that fly. It was the moral of the story that really irked me. In their usual “I learned something today” segment at the end of the show Stan declares, “If you want to be a Christian, that’s cool. But you should follow what Jesus taught, not how he died. Focusing on how he died is what people did in the Middle Ages, and it had really bad consequences”.

Ughhh…..

Not only do we have a perfect example of non-Christians telling Christians how to practice Christianity (don’t you just love that), but they also do so in a way that contradicts the New Testament. In Galatians, St. Paul actually warns us against not focusing on the way Christ died. We’re so accustomed to seeing Jesus up on a cross now a days. We don’t seem to realize that in first century Israel, crucifixion was seen as an extremely shameful death. There were many Christians in the first century who didn’t even want to think about the manner in which Christ died. In fact, it’s in the Pauline letters in which we’re confronted with the word “crucified”. I’m not sure if the word even appears in the four gospels, but if it does, I know it’s very minimal. Now St. Paul, he was using it left and right. Because people didn’t want to think about it. But, St. Paul teaches us that the Crucifixion of Christ is our faith in a nutshell. It’s to be the center of the Christian faith.

I know Hollywood would much rather have “judge not lest ye be judged” or “love thy neighbor as thyself” be the center of the Christian faith. And those are great teachings, they came right out of Christ’s mouth. So obviously they should be heeded. But, they are not the center of the faith. The center of the faith is the Crucifixion. “Judge not lest ye be judged” is a teaching that revolves around the Crucifixion. “Love thy neighbor as thyself” is a teaching that revolves around the Crucifixion. The Crucifixion gives these teachings a new weight and a new meaning.

And I’m sure St. John could testify to this. When he heard Jesus say “Love thy neighbor as thyself”, I’m sure it really hit him, as did everything Christ said. But, when he saw Jesus getting scourged, I can guarantee you that those words took on a whole new level of severity.

In addition to that, focusing on how Christ died isn’t what people did in the Middle Ages. Focusing on how Christ died is what people have been doing since Christ died. People were doing it in the fifth century. They were doing it in the tenth century. They were doing it in the fifteenth century. They were doing it in the twentieth century. Look at any Catholic, Protestant, or Orthodox church and the one thing you’ll notice that they all have in common, regardless, is crosses. Which is how Christ died. There you go. Just a simple walk down the street will prove South Park wrong.

And Patton Oswald says that making a movie about the Crucifixion of Christ is like making a movie about the four hours of Einstein’s life in which he had a horrible case of diarrhea. I totally understand what he’s saying, in the sense that I understand that he doesn’t understand what the fuck he’s talking about.

Obviously, I could care less if people didn’t like the movie. I think it’s very much possible for a person to dislike The Passion, but still have a deep love for The Passion (my SDA aunt refuses to see this movie, but I wouldn’t question her faith for one second). Hell, I hated the movie Jesus, but still have a deep love for Jesus. But, all to often, criticisms of the movie cross that line into criticisms of the faith. I suppose if you want to criticize the faith, I can handle that, there are tons of people who do that. But, when I hear some one say, “If you want to be a Christian, that cool. But......”. Well, that’s when I get a little irritated.

 
Typically "Watcha Gonna Do?" Is A Rhetorical Question

Apparently, last Friday P. Diddy made a challenge to the Hulkster....

-quote-

"Combs made the challenge but soon withdrew the offer when he saw Hogan running to the stage."

-end quote-

Two amusing Hogan anecdotes in one weekend. Hulk Hogan and the VMAs in the same city at the same time = stories that amuse me.