Tuesday, August 31, 2004

If Only.....

Over at "the forum" my good friend Steve offered up this delightful worst case scenario.


"TNA has announced that Sabu will not work the PPV tonight "due to a back injury he sustained while wrestling this past weekend."

Sabu was scheduled to face Raven in a Hangman's Horror match. The plan right now seems to be to replace Sabu and go ahead with the match. I would guess Sonjay Dutt would the the replacement.

No wonder Sabu was TOTALLY PISSED. He Injured himself!! And the best part is, we were there. Sabu is older right, so like, due to a dibilatating back injury, we could have seen Sabu's very last match of his career. I know it's a long shot, but can you imagine we could be saying that to other wrestling fans around the globe in a few years. "

-end quote-

Believe me, I would hate to see Sabu's career come to an end. I'm just saying that if this scenario were to unfold like my friend proposed, or if another similar scenario were to ever occur in my life time, at times it might be difficult for me to see the storm cloud inside of the silver lining.

I'll try and keep this blog updated on Sabu's most recent medical conditions.

Little Irritating Managerial Anecdotes....

So, I’ve now officially made it through a whole fucking summer as a factory worker. The only way I managed to survive it was because of the supervisor who supersedes my supervisor. This is the man whose name is going to go on my applications from now on. Not my supervisor, my other supervisor.

The second day on the job, he built me a box. I shit you not. He built me a box. I was busy screwing motors onto these metal plates. He came over with a tape measure and measured from the table to about chest level. A couple hours later I had a new box and was screwing motors onto metal plates at about chest level, which was a hell of a lot easier. I didn’t see any one else with a box.

Josiah, my good friend who had hooked me up with the job, told me that he had overheard the ultra supervisor saying “Ron must have talked to Josiah, because he’s always the last to go on brake and the first to get back”. Actually, this had nothing to do with a conversation I had with Josiah. I simply went on brake when the buzzer sounded and returned to my workstation when the buzzer sounded again. I had no lame, Bush hating union to back me up. So I felt obligated to do what I’m told. Imagine that.

But, it wasn’t the box that helped me get through my summer as a factory worker. No sir. Whilst my supervisor was taking a week off, my ultra supervisor took over the task of telling me what to do. So what did he do, he sent me over to another department. He sent me over to the N.C. presses. Huge fucking, two ton machines. You stick a piece of metal in them, push a button, and the metal comes out different. I didn’t think machines like this actually existed. They had all these different codes for all these different pieces. All I had to do was stick the piece of metal in the clamp and push the button. It beat the hell out of assembly. Assembly was painful. Eight hours of standing up and looking down. I was so fucking sore by the end of every workday.

But my supervisor, the one who was usually telling me to do, he was something else. And I think that remarks offered by my good friend Josiah, over at “the forum”, sum up “Wayne” pretty well….


This one day last winter, when I was working 1st shift, A girl was wearing a Fat Albert shirt.. Wayne walked up and said "hey hey hey, heres your paycheck" No one got it.. I pretended not to hear...I love watching Wayne try to complain to my dad about something, My dad does the, pretend-to-listen-while-walking-away thing and sometimes nods a bit to make it all official. MAN, WAYNE IS GREAT! I think he's the Officer Morse of Evans Tempcon..”

-end quote-

I have a few Wayne quotes I’d like to share. But right now, I have to get to class.

Aright, I’m back. And this Wayne anecdote right here is my favorite.

I was assembling this one product, and I noticed that I was short three wire harnesses.

So I go say to Wayne; “Sir, I’m short three wire harnesses”.

I called him “sir” all through the summer, because I figure that since I was only going to be there for the summer and didn’t have any union to protect me, I might as well show the guy a little bit of respect.

He walks over to my workstation and says; “So…you’re short three wire harnesses”.

To which I reply; “Either that, or I have three extra of everything else”.

To which he replies; “How many of these things have you assembled”.

I’m utterly befuddled, because the number of pieces I had assembled was well into the triple digits, and at that point I had been working in assembly for three weeks and no one mentioned anything about counting the number of pieces I assembled. So obviously, I reply; “I don’t know”.

To which he replies; “From now on, you should count how many pieces you assemble”.

Immediately my “this guy doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing” alarm goes off. But, amidst all of this I try to remain reserved and respectful. So I reply; “That sounds kind of hard, sir. I’d probably loose count”.

To which he replies (and here comes the classic Wayne quote); “Well, it’s not a requirement. It’s just a suggestion. Nobody else does it”.

And then there was the memorable; “Hypothetical question, would you mind leaving early today?”.

Oh yeah, and I’ll probably never forget the time I was gluing little rubber strips to a metal cover, easily the shittiest job in the whole factory. Nancy, the competent woman just below Wayne in power, comes up to me and says to go over to another workstation when I finish with the piece I’m working on, she has a new job for me. “Cool,” I reply, because I fucking hate gluing little rubber strips to metal covers.

She takes off and about fifteen seconds later, Wayne is standing next to me. And he says to me; “When did Nancy tell you to go over and start the new job? Was it immediately?”.

This remark is stupid on three levels: 1.) “Was it immediately?” has to be the most awkwardly worded question ever. 2.) Does he think that I like to just go around senselessly disobeying order? 3.) I was gluing little rubber strips to metal covers for fuck’s sake. I was doing the worst fucking job in the whole factory. Why would I senselessly disobey orders so that I could stick around and do the most miserable job in the whole fucking plant?

And I think there’s only one more that I can think of off the top of my head. Once again, it involved those damn covers and those damn rubber strips. Wayne comes up to me and says “I want you to do them twelve at a time. Do twelve, and then do another twelve. Do it like that. You got it?”.


This remark is baffling because on this project, I put the piece together and then stick it on a shelf. How the hell I was supposed to do them twelve at a time was completely beyond me. It’d be kind of like some one saying “OK, I want you to drive to Grand Rapids, and here’s how I want you to do it. I want you to drive ten miles, then drive another ten miles. Yep, ten miles at a time, keep doing that till you get to Grand Rapids. You got it?”.

There are plenty of more Wayne moments, I just thought I’d share what I consider to be a couple of the more irritating ones. Wayne was just the kind of guy that you completely dread talking to. It’s as if I was conditioned to cringe at the sound of his voice. He’s got this nasally irritating voice and he was always giving me these horrible assignments. And of course, there were those awkward moments, when he tried to joke around and what not. Josiah’s anecdote is a perfect example of that. The “hey, hey, hey, here’s your paycheck” line cracks me up every time I read it. Because, as I read it, I can hear Wayne saying it. Wayne’s just one of those guys whom when you get to know him, all you need is to hear an anecdote about him and all the visual and audio components just seem to fall right into place.

Thunder In Paradise

Hulk Hogan involved in car accident....


"Last night on local channel 7 WSVN here in Miami the MTV hoopla was recapped and included a shot of The Hulkster’s limo after it was involved in a crash.

The side of the white limo was hit and they had a clip of a seemingly dazed 'Hollywood' dressed in black saying, "We’re ok, brother". "

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Snake In The Eagle's Blog

The Hurricane's currently out of action with a broken nose, so I've decided to give this blog a temporary change of theme, just in case you were wondering what the deal is. Today was my last day of work. I'm moving to East Lansing tomorrow. Then I'm coming back to Hastings the next day so I can go see Hero with my friends. And then of course, Hastings Summerfest on Saturday, which will feature a performance from Wally Pleasant. Fuck yeah!!! And then classes start back up on Monday. So my posting will probably continue to be sporadic for the next week or so.

Rock Over London, Rock On Chicago. The Southern Baptist Convention, Reaching The World For Christ.

This via Relapsed Catholic kind of reminded me of when me and my friend Steve went to see that movie and we walked out of the theater just sort of shrugging our shoulders.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Our Champions As Of Late

It seems to me as though the WWE is picking who to put the belts on based mainly on spite.For example, this picture here seems to send a very clear message....

That message being; "Fuck you, CNBC".

And this picture seems to send an even clearer message....

And this message would be; "Fuck you, Lesnar".

Now, the main difference betwixt these two is obviously that Orton is a deserving and entertaing champion. Orton is coming off the heels of a seven month reign as Intercontinental champion, plus victories over HBK and Mick Foley. When Bradshaw picked up his title, he was coming off the heels of what had been deemed the worst PPV in the history of the WWE and an international controversey which had gotten him fired from CNBC. Plus, the PPV in which he snagged the title also happened to snag the prestige of being the worst PPV in the history of the WWE away from the previous Smackdown exclusive PPV (but, never fear since it looks like we are in the midst of a three month lapse betwixt Smackdown exclusive PPVs).

I've been utterly baffled by Bradshaw's title reign. He has main evented what are considered to be the two worst PPVs in WWE history. He's still an asshole backstage. He's still stiff in the ring. And he still can't manage to make a match interesting, the crowd reaction to his match at Summerslam is a strong testament to that.

There seems to be only one logical explanation for Bradshaw's reign, and that is that Vince is doing it to spite CNBC. Vince must have taken Bradshaw's firing personally. And he's decided to be a vindictive ass at the fans' expense.

CNBC fires Bradshaw. Now he's the WWE Champion. I bet CNBC is upset now. They could have had the top man Smackdown doing financial analysis. They let him go right before he blew up. They fired him right before he became a big deal. They turned away the man that is now champion. The rock that CNBC rejected is now the cornerstone of Smackdown.

Accept that Bradshaw sucks. Not to mention, his status as a financial advisor was one of the aspects that feuled his gimmick. It was his multi-media coverage that made him unique, and maybe gave his character an inkling of a chance at being able to hold up to the Million Dollar Man. Not that I think Bradshaw could even touch Dibiase on any level.

Meanwhile, Orton's reign is both spiteful, well timed, and sitting well with this particular fan. It almost seems like they had been planning this years in advance. Orton, a third generation wrestler, climbs up in the ranks, gets a victory over HBK, then goes on to have a seven month reign as IC champ. Meanwhile, Lesnar's decided to pack up and leave. On top of that, he's done numerous interviews in which he's bashed the WWE. So the McMahon's decide to put the title on Orton, thus ending Lesnar's record for youngest heavyweight champion in WWE history.

Plus, last night's Raw was one of the most captivating episodes I've seen in months. I got chills watching Orton walk around with the title. I found myself cheering and clapping right there in my living room when he told us that not only is he better looking than us, he's just plain better. And I was shocked when Evolution turned on Orton (I knew something like that was going to happen, I just didn't think it'd happen so soon).

But, I think James Brown put it best; "You've gotta pay the cost to be the boss".

This is what Orton has given us...

And this is what Bradshaw has given us....

Monday, August 16, 2004

Marian Dogma, Embryonic Stem Cell Research, And Evangelion

In honor of the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, which was celebrated yesterday, the currently Not Quite Catholic But Still Enjoying blog posted a link to an essay Mark Shea wrote about Marian dogma three years ago. It provided an interesting explanation on why these doctrines were canonized just recently in the 19th century....


"Significantly, the Holy Spirit saw fit to emphasize the Immaculate Conception
at just the moment in world history where the dignity of the origins of the
human person was coming under severe assault from materialist philosophies which
saw the human person as a mere product of wind and weather (Darwin), of economic
and political forces (Marx), as divided by race and class (Herbert Spencer), or
as a creature driven solely by sex and powerless against unconscious forces
(Freud). The definition of the dogma directly contradicts these unbiblical views
of the human person

-end quote-

I've really appreciated having Mark Shea's blog around, as well as Kathy Shiedle, as they've written some marvelous little pieces that have helped me understand random little doctrines and tidbits a little better (particularly in some of Kathy's wonderful little Catholic Alphabet series). Taking Shea's comments into consideration, I think the Church's Marian dogma can serve as a powerful reminder of the dignity of human life in light of this whole stem cell research hullabulloo. I found myself a little miffed when I heard Reagan's kid refer to this debate as a conflict between "true compassion" and "ingornat ideology", as if godless science wasn't an ignorant ideology itself.

And lately I've been finding myself pondering this little scuffle quite a bit, seeing as they've been talking about using embryonic stem cell research to find a cure for multiple schlerosis, the disease that killed my father. I've been asking myself if stem cell research could have saved my father's life, would I compromise my moral conviction? Would my father have compromised his moral conviction? I like to think that the answer to both of those questions would be a big, resounding "FUCK NO". Fortunately, I don't have to worry about being in any sort of situation in which I would have to make a descision like that.

And sure, it starts with a cure for multiple schlerosis. And next thing you know....

Yep....we're fucked.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't think that embryoninc stem cell research is going to lead to apocalyptic battles with big giant robots. Although I do think that would be totally bad ass. But, I do think a parallel can be drawn betwixt embryonic stem cell research and Neon Genesis Evangelion. Both cases, I think, involve a sort of manufactured evolution. But I think there's a deeper, and maybe more obvious parallel.

The Eva units do something good. They protect people. They save lives. But, at what cost? That cost would be the compromise of human dignity. And this compromise spills over into the personal lives of those who work with the Evas.

Misato kind of represents the Freudian perversion of human life. She views herself as nothing more than a sexual creature caught in a "continuous cycle of hollow joy and vicious self hatred". Shinji, I suppose, would represent the Marxist perversion of human life, as he views his value as being nothing more than the product of his labor ( "position target, pull trigger, position target, pull trigger"). And Rei, would represent the Darwinian perversion of human life. Being alienated from her own soul and any knowledge of her true nature, Rei views herself as little more than just another blob of carbon ("I think I'm the third one").

Is saving human lives worth compromising the dignity of human life? I think Hideaki Anno makes his feelings on this particular question abundantly clear in the Neon Genesis Evangelion series. Plus, once the dignity is compromised, people find themselves wondering why they should even bother saving human lives.

I realize it's pretty lame to be this analytical of a cartoon. But, I came up with all of this today at work while I was poking little holes in little vent thingies. And whenever I find myself doing a tedious task like that I always find myself reciting Shinji's classic "position target, pull trigger" mantra. I guess it's sort of my attempt to ammuse myself with my own lame sense of irony whilst waiting for three thirty to roll around. Or maybe it was nice to be at work and have a thought roll threw my head that wasn't "cigarettes are good" or "damn, Hwang Jang Lee is a fucking bad ass".


So me and my good friend Steve managed to crawl our asses out of bed at eight thirty on a Saturday morning to go see the free AWWL taping at ABC 53 Studios in East Lansing. This was a very interesting little event. The AWWL rents out a TV studio and records about three or four weeks worth of shows. We decided to leave when we started to see the same wrestlers for the third time. But, it was a cool experience to see a wrestling event in that tight of quarters. Plus, of course, lest I forget, Sabu. The selling point for this show, what made seeing it a no brainer, was the fact that it was a free show featuring Sabu.

Sabu wrestled first, he came in, did a quick five minute match then got the hell out of there. And I loved every fucking second of it. Nothing horribly spectacular, considering some of the shit Sabu has done in his career. But, what made this match even more interesting was the botch on behalf of his manager.

The guy serving as Sabu's manager in the AWWL, Shaeffy, went to do the typical "throw the chair to Sabu, Sabu throws it at his opponent, then kicks him in the face" routine. Well, this genius machine of a manager threw the chair well before Sabu was ready to catch it. Sabu gets a face full of chair. And these weren't the typical steel chairs you normally see at pro wrestling events, that make a nice hollow clang but don't hurt, these were cheap ass, wooden, hard as hell chairs. It slapped Sabu upside the head, but he managed to catch it anyway. Sabu flashes Shaeffy one of the most pissed off, cold as ice stares I've ever seen in my life, then gives his opponent a face full of chair and finishes the match off with his signature triple jump moonsault. He picked up the victory and then got the hell out of there, and was most likely well out of the state by the time the show was finished. It was fucking sweet, I tell ya. And man, if I was to make a list of things I never, ever want to do in my life time, pissing off Sabu would be nearing the top of that list.

And one thing stood out to Steve and myself. Cameras do not do Sabu justice. This guy looks like he's been fucking chiseled out of stone. He puts to shame some of the guys with the more flashy, camera friendly physiques. His physique may not seem like much on TV, but if you've seen him up close and personal, it's a totally different story. On top of that, his body looks like it's been through hell, huge fucking scars and just generally tattered looking.

All in all, a killer time, there were some other high lights that I won't go into. They made us sign a waver before the show, which kind of had us baffled, until Steve got smacked in the chest by one of the wrestlers during an out of the ring brawl.

Senators Edwards And Kerry Voted Against Increased Combat Pay And Armored Humvees

When you have a hundred rock stars screaming bloody murder at our fearless leader, it only takes one to equal them in volume. Ted Nugent. I hadn't been to Ted's website in quite some time, so I decided to check by and see what his thoughts were on the upcoming election, the good folks at tednugent.com failed to dissapoint....


"Attention!We have less than four months until Election Day. Our primary objective is to turn out as many votes as humanly possible for George W. Bush. We also need to play a major role in assuring Republican control of both Houses of Congress. The old adage, "every vote counts," has never been more true than in this election season. We know that it will be close, so we must make the Bush/Cheney 2004 race a resounding VICTORY."

-end quote-

And if you're sick of seeing lengthy lists of reasons to hate Bush, than you might find this to be a breath of fresh air. Sleep well, Michiganders.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Last Night I Had Burritos And Drank A Lot Of Beer

I just wanted to say congratulations to my brother, who turned twenty one yesterday. It seems like just yesterday that I turned twenty one, I suppose it’s been pretty fuzzy. It was on a school night, so nothing big, just watched wrestling and drank beer. For my brother’s birthday we watched Sealab 2021 Volume One and drank beer.

The weird thing about my twenty first birthday is that I remember which episode of King Of The Hill was on. That’s not so weird when one takes into consideration that it was the episode with Willie Nelson, and for my birthday I had scored a copy of Willie Nelson’s Red Headed Stranger. In fact, I think I’ll listen to that CD on my way to work tomorrow in sort of a commemoration to turning twenty one. Or not.

The thing that struck me as odd about turning twenty one was how it was every bit as great as I thought it was going to be. I went to the store, I bought some beer. Twenty three is coming around the corner, and oddly enough, the novelty has yet to wear off.

Since it was a Tuesday night, my brother decided to pass on the typical festivities and opted instead for a quiet dinner with the immediate family at a nice little restaurant. The conversation turned towards religion, which is always fun, since we've got the Protestant mother, the Catholic son, and the son who has yet to grab a bat and pick a team.

It started with my brother asking my mom why they didn't teach kids about birth control at her church and ended with my mom asking me if I was angry because she never told me that she didn't care whether or not I got syphillis. This was about an hour and a half conversation. I'd get into it a bit more, but like I said in my last post, I'm taking a two week break from blogging (I just logged on to wish my brother a happy birthday) and I drank quite a bit over the course of the evening.

I gave a lengthy explanation on my own views about teaching birth control. He kept insisting that he understood my point, since I'm Catholic. But, why don't they compromise over at the local evangelical mega-church and teach kids how to properly utilize contraceptives? Since, they've already got a cappacino machine, a soda fountain, a pretzel vendor, and a praise band that plays Creed and Evanescence songs (I shit you not, I wish I was shitting you, but....I shit you not), I could see how some people would conclude that a sermon on contraception would be the next logical step. Being full of beer, I kept blabbing on with my own Catholic views, he kept insisting that he sympathized with my religious agenda and was referring specifically to non-denominational evangelical Protestants. I wasn't preaching to the choir, but I was preaching to a guy who knew where the choir was coming from.

The title of my post is indicative of my consumption last night. If you're familiar with the Queers' song from which I snagged those words, you can imagine the kind of day I had at work. Luckily, I was working on the presses, which meant I had my own private work station with no one with twenty feet of me. Only ten working days left and I'm gone. Off to Lansing. Where I will then resume blogging. For now, I will resume my two week break from blogging.........

Monday, August 09, 2004

Crappy Crap

Well, a few negatives. Not only did the Hurricane job to Chuck Palumbo last week during the Heat taping, but he broke his nose in the process, so he'll be missing some time. One of my Smackdown favorites, Sakoda, has been fired despite the fact that he's been putting forth a tremendous effort in the face of a recent back injury. Meanwhile, John Heidenreich is receiving a huge push in the form of an upcoming feud with the Undertaker despite the fact that management acknowledges that he's made little improvement during his time in the OVW.

I know I haven't posted on here in about two weeks. I think I'm probably going to take another two weeks off of blogging, as I'm getting prepared to move to Lansing. I'm a bundle of nerves right now and I'm not doing horribly well at thinking.

On the bright side, this Saturday I'm going to an AWWL taping at a TV studio in Lansing. The show in both a.) free and b.) featuring Sabu. That's right, a free show with Sabu!!