Sunday, May 30, 2004

 
Every Time I Hear The Words "Transistional Period" A Part Of Me Dies Inside

This guy couldn't be more wrong. Oh, he could try. He would not be successful.

"With Smackdown ratings hovering around 3.0 or lower lately, and with Raw ratings dipping below 4.0 most weeks, would a roster recombine solve WWE's problems?

Perhaps yes in the short term, but definitively no in the long term."


The long term? Is he serious? How does this make a lick of sense? The brand extension started two years ago. TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO!! And it is now currently in the worst shape it has ever been in. The higher ups have too many times fed us the bullshit line about going through a transistional period. I refuse to believe that Vince McMahon genuinely believes this. He knows what kind of people watch professional wrestling. People like me, with a remote control in hand ready to change the channel at the very second Bradshaw picks up a microphone, Kurt Angle comes out in his wheel chair to do another shitty job playing the role of Smackdown GM, or whenever the once great Dudleys are wrestling.

"However, it wouldn't take long for the novelty of seeing John Cena on the same show as Randy Orton to wear off. It wouldn't take long for Eddie Guerrero and Shelton Benjamin on the same show to seem commonplace."


Since when is seeing some good matches a "novelty"? I could see where seeing a good match on Smackdown could conjure up the appelation of "novelty". But, I fail to see how seeing consistently decent matches on a weekly basis would be a "novelty" that would eventually "wear off".

"And the younger stars that need time to develop wouldn't get the "on the job" experience they're now getting and the credibility boost that comes from being in TV main events (i.e Cena vs. Dupree last Thursday)."


Cena and Dupree are horrible examples. These two guys would be getting the same amount of TV time even if they were to merge the rosters, because they're good and they're over with the fans. Now what about The Hurricane, Shannon Moore, Billy Kidman, Matt Hardy, Tajiri, Akio, and Ultimo Dragon? These were the kind of guys you'd think would benefit most from the brand extension. But, they don't. They get jackshit. If the brand extension isn't serving to bring these guys more into the limelight and get them more TV time, then it's pointless. I remember back in 1994, there was no brand extension, Raw was only an hour show and you had the one hour Superstars on Saturday mornings, yet guys like Sparky Plug, Mary Janetty, the Portugese Man O'War, and the 123 Kid still managed to get their share of TV time. The brand extension is doing more to hurt the wrestlers I mentioned, because it's limiting their possibilities for matches. Case in point: HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SEE THE HURRICANE AND ROSEY WRESTLE LA RESISTANCE?!?!

"If I were voting for or against recombining, I'd vote against it. I'd vote for patience. The split-brand concept makes sense. There's no point abandoning it at the first sign of strife."


Once again, I'd like to reitterate that amongst your average wrestling fan (such as myself) patience isn't a common attribute. It may pop up now and then amongst noble wrestling fans like this guy, but it's far from commonplace. And Vince has to be well aware of that, which makes this all the more perplexing to me. And the current condition of Smackdown IS NOT the "first sign of strife".

"One "Ace in the Hole" for WWE would be to bring back Tough Enough."


How in the hell is Tough Enough an "Ace in the Hole"? Like I've said before, Nowinski was the only worthwhile talent to come out of Tough Enough, and his career is pretty much over. Jackie wrestled a shitty match with Trish and since then she's been confined to the roll of a valet for a delightfully flaming homosexual. Nidia hasn't done shit since leaving the services of Jamie Noble. And Shaniqua's pathetic, little career jumped a pathetic, little shark when she spit out the words "permanent chest swelling".

 
I Guess The WWE Is Just As Boring In Europe

At Friday's house show in Manchester, England the Hurricane and Rosey took a victory over La Resistance. At Saturday's house show in Bermingham, England La Resistance took a victory over the Hurricane and Rosey.

I think from now on, to save time, I'll replace the phrase "The Hurricane and Rosey beat La Resistance" with "Derp" and I'll replace the phrase "La Resistance beat the Hurricane and Rosey" with "Derp de derp".

 
I'll Be Damned

Relapsed Catholic points out that the essay on Mary and Muslims by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen was written back in 1952.

Friday, May 28, 2004

 
The Hurricane In Dublin

Alright, a nice change of pace here. Last night at another house show in Dublin, Ireland the Hurricane took a victory in a handicapped match against Garrison Cade and Johnny Nitro. Word is that Cade worked most of the match, which seems likely since Nitro is one of those Tough Enough brats. It sucks that the only person to come out of Tough Enough with some real talent, Christopher Nowinski, seems to have winded up with some shitty career ending post concussive injuries, including memory loss and a nasty sleep walking problem. It also sucks that they have the Hurricane kicking ass at house shows, winning handicapped matches for fuck's sake, and then constantly jobbing whenever he's on TV.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

 
You Know Hurricane Blogging Is Starting To Become Kind Of A Tedious Task

Yesterday at a house show in Dublin, Ireland the Hurricane and Rosey once again took on La Resistance. Once again Eugene came down to the ring. Once again, the Hurricane picked up the pinfall.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

 
Our Lady Of Fatima

Mark Shea recently posted an essay from Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen on utilizing the Blessed Virgin as a stepping stone in Christian/Muslim relations.

Those of you who bothered to read my eleven page paper on the Virgin Mary in Islamic theology(and if you didn't bother, I'm more than understanding) know that this is a topic of considerable interest to myself. Being a person who converted from Baptistism (or whatever the hell you would refer to the religion practiced by Baptists) to Catholicism, the Blessed Mother holds a very special place in my heart, which seems to be the case with a lot of converts. Finding Mary could be likened to finding your long lost mother, because I can testify that as a former Protestant, that's essentially what she is. And obviously, when talking to some of my old Protestant friends, she's always the first issue they bring up. But following Mary can't possibly be a bad thing, because she only goes in one direction. And that's why I think it's so spiffy that Muslims have such a strong love for Mary. I don't think that it will lead a massive conversion of the majority of Muslims, but it certainly can't hurt.

I thought I'd point out a few statements from Bishop Sheen's statement that stood out to me....

"It is our firm belief that the fears some entertain concerning the Muslims are not to be realized, but that Muslimism, instead, will eventually be converted to Christianity—and in a way that even some of our missionaries never suspect. It is our belief that this will happen not through the direct teachings of Christianity, but through a summoning of the Muslims to a veneration of the Mother of God."


I heard a priest elsewhere make a similar statement. He said that he feels that Mary will play a crucial role in the salvation of the Muslim world. The part about "this will happen not through the direct teachings of Christianity" may seem a little odd to some. But, prior to that the Bishop made another statement that kind of puts this in a perspective that makes it sing clearly to me....

" The reason is that for a follower of Mohammed to become a Christian is much like a Christian becoming a Jew. The Muslims believe that they have the final and definitive revelation of God to the world and that Christ was only a prophet announcing Mohammed, the last of God’s real prophets."


This is a point I never even thought of. But, for a Muslim to convert to Christianity is kind of taking a step back, at least from their perspective. Just as Christians converting to Judaism, and you see a lot fewer of those. Each religion being seen as a fulfillment as the one before, makes conversion an even more tricky scenario. But I absolutely love the idea that Bishop Sheen is alluding to. Just espousing Christian doctrines and attempting to make arguments on behalf of Christology just isn't going to cut it.

"The Qu’ran has also verses on the Annunciation, Visitation, and Nativity."


Actually, in my studies I couldn't manage to find any verses that made mention of the Visitation, as the scenario in Quranic narratives varies quite a bit from that of Christian traditions. In the Bible it seems that Mary has to travel to another town to visit Elizabeth, but in the Quran Mary is under the supervision of Elizabeth's husband. Or maybe I just suck at reading the Quran. I know Islamic tradition has a story about Mary talking to Elizabeth and John prostrating in the womb. But, I'd think that would be quite a different story from the Visitation we get in Christian tradition, which sees a pregnant sixteen year old girl traveling to another town all by herself whilst her husband is off working.

"Since nothing ever happens out of Heaven except with a finesse of all details, I believe that the blessed Virgin chose to be known as “Our Lady of Fatima” as a pledge and a sign of hope to the Muslim people, and as an assurance that they, who show her so much respect, will one day accept her divine Son, too. "


This was my favorite part of Bishop Sheen's statement. I think he hit it right on the fucking head, and I wish I had thought that up myself. It goes back to what I said about how following Mary can't be bad because she only goes in one direction.

I've heard plenty of accounts of Muslims converting to Catholicism after viewing a Marian apparition. I've even heard accounts of Marian apparitions in Mosques. It's cool and all, but like I already said, I don't think it will lead to any major mass conversion. At least not anytime soon. But, it is a greater starter point in attempts to get some friendly conversations going, seeing as history has shown us that worshipping the same God isn't quite efficient when it comes to uniting the two sides.

 
Sarcasm Is Funny

I caught this little quip from a man calling himself T. Snyder over at the Oratory. It made me chuckle a bit....

-quote-

"Hurricane without the shirt is JUST what he needed. his character was going stale, and this was a good way to freshen him up."


-end quote-

 
Don't Hurt My Charlie

In his latest column Mr. Tito had these words to say about the tag team match betwixt Rosey and the Hurricane and La Resistance.....

-quote-

"Next, it was a hopeless tag team match between La Resistence and SHIT/Hurricane. Both teams, unfortunately, are going no where, especially SHIT and Hurricane. The WWE needs to admit that they don't care about Shane Helms instead of pussy-footing around the issue."

-end quote-

Once again, strong words from a man who has been pretty on the money when it comes to assessing the current Hurricane situation. Obviously the fact that the best the WWE can do for the Hurricane is to have him repeatedly team up with Rosey to take on La Resistance is bad enough. Then add in the fact that they don't seem to want to establish either team as better than the other and thus put them in some sort of contendership for the tag titles. The fact these two teams constitute the entirety of the Raw tag team division outside whatever two singles wrestlers happen to be holding the titles, seems to put the WWE in a position where they don't want to assert either of these two teams as superior to the other. Just have them go back and forth for a few months. I believe about the last five house show reports I've mentioned had the Hurricane and Rosey taking on La Resistance.


On a happier side, my favorite tag team on Smackdown still has the titles. Why they deem it befitting to have a comedic tag team take the titles on Smackdown but not on Raw is beyond me? Haas and Rico have the same sort of comedic chemistry that the Hurricane and Rosey did in their first couple of months. We'll see if the antics will continue, although I guess they most likely won't.

You gotta love it when Rico yells things like "Don't hurt my Charlie".

The idea behind the Hurricane and S.H.I.T is that they're supposed to be a comedic tag team. Yet, they're not cracking jokes. The last time we heard these two talk was when the Rock was back during the two weeks leading up to WM XX.

And to change the subject a bit, right now the current plan is to incorporate more outrageous gimmicks into the Smackdown show to make up for the lack of talent. You've got the Mordecai gimmick, the Haas/Rico duo, and Vampire Hunter D Undertaker. In responce to that I would say GREAT! Gimmicks! Do it! Now! Whatever the hell you have to do to make this piece of shit show better. Mark Jindrak is stealing Lex Luger's Narcissist gimmick? That's fine, whatever it takes.

I was telling a buddy of mine that what they need to do with that Mordecai character is have him destroy a bunch of lower card wrestlers before he begins his program with the Undertaker. So boy was I ever pleased when I tuned into Smackdown and saw Mordecai take out both Billy Kidman and Akio. And then I read on line that the current plan is to have Mordecai destroy a bunch of lower card wrestlers. Great. Fantastic. Have this guy kill. You get a nice unstoppable monster gimmick going, and it doesn't take long to get them into main event status. When the Undertaker first arrived almost fourteen years ago, he was main eventing within a year. Do the same thing with Mordecai. Not because he necessarily deserves it. But, because Smackdown needs main eventers, and so far it's pretty apparent that Mordecai is at least a better wrestler than Bradshaw.

And while I'm on the subject, Tazz and Micheal Cole are becoming fed up with being the B team commentators. What do you expect when Tazz is constantly talking like Yoda ("Working the knee Cena is")? Plus, don't let me forget brilliant exchanges like this one.......

Tazz: Mordecai claims to be the right hand of the Father.

Micheal Cole: What father?

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

 
Expect The Unexpected

So what was the Hurricane doing on Raw last night? You guessed it, teaming up with Rosey to take on La Resistance. But, they decided to mix things up a bit in the form of the Hurricane and Rosey losing. Aren't they clever? I guess it's true what they say about how anything can happen in the WWE.

The match saw the Hurricane taking quite an impressive spill out of the ring. One member of La whips the Hurricane into the ropes, the other member of La holds down the middle rope and the Hurricane dives right threw landing smack on his back and doing nothing to slow down his momentum. In fact the Hurricane went right into that tumble with full momentum.


 
Hurricane House Show Results

On Saturday the Raw crew was in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and on Sunday they were in Moline, Illinois. Both house shows saw the Hurricane and Rosey taking a victory over La Resistance.

 
West Michigan, Where Everyday Is The Day After Tomorrow

West Michigan has been in total chaos over the past few days. Severe thunderstorms, tornadoes, floods. The phone line was out for a couple of days there, forcing me to take an involuntary break from my usual blogging obligations.

On Friday afternoon I had the unfortunate luck of being stuck in a McDonald's during a tornado. I found this to be all kinds of ironic since it was the first time I had been in a McDonald's in probably over a year. I wasn't there to eat anything, just to hang out with some friends. And then I get my ass stuck in the middle of a tornado. Wouldn't that just be the greatest thing ever? I give up fast food, lose over a hundred pounds, and then go to McDonald's and get killed by a toranado.

Amidst all the chaos that is McDonald's during a tornado, I overheard a woman telling one of her friends "I'm getting the hell out of here. I've been trapped in a McDonald's during a tornado before. I'm not going to go threw that again. I'll risk it and drive home".

My first descision was to try and make it home. I ran half way to my car and then ran back to the safety of the McDonald's. I'll admit that for a moment I was tempted to ease my anxiety with a cheeseburger or two, I opted instead for a Powerade, mainly because I had no idea that McDonald's now sells Powerade.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

 
The Hurricane Was On Heat As Well

But it was kind of stupid, as bland Garrison Cade went over our favorite super hero after hitting him with his bland elbow drop. So Garrison Cade is now receiving a bit of a push, and what's his new gimmick? He hangs out with the Coach. That's about as good of a gimmick as you could come up with for a guy like Cade. I swear, you could change his attire and dye his hair every week and I'd have no fucking clue that it was the same person. I'm not necessarily saying anything negative about his wrestling ability, but he has no look, blond hair, red tights, no distinctive features what so ever. He could easily pass for Random Jobber #4216. Hey, I've got an idea for a great gimmick for Garrison Cade. They should do a running gag where he never makes it to the ring because he can't get past security.

 
The Hurricane In Spokane

At a house show in Spokane, Washington on Saturday the Hurricane and Rosey took a victory over La Resistance. It was the exact same match and scenario as seen the following night in Everett, with Eugene coming down, playing with the Quebec flag, and the Hurricane getting the pin.

 
St. Expeditus vs. Manpower

Sometimes I'll get into these conversations with people. We'll just be talking about the weather, what we do, where we live, etc. Eventually at some point I'll mention the fact that I hate work. To which they reply with a certain degree of scoff "Well so do I, but you gotta........" and then they follow it up with stuff about sucking it up or paying the bills or whatever.

I'm always tempted to reply; "No, you don't understand. I really really hate work".

Nobody likes work, that's a given. But, I go out of my way to make a point of it, and not just in a "life's a bitch" or an “ain’t that the way it goes, I’ll tell you what” sort of way. I have managed to remain successfully unemployed for the past two and a half years. I've been coasting on student loans, pell grants, and the occasional inheritance. I've been maintaining a full time student status for who knows how long just to avoid the inevitable reality that I'm going to have to eventually get an actual job. So I think it's fairly safe to say that I hate work more than the average person.

Or maybe I don't. As hard as it may be for me to imagine, I accept the possibility that maybe every single person alive hates work just as much as I do. In which case, that makes me feel even worse about myself. Because then the only explanation for my behavior is that I do a much worse job of concealing my hatred for work than the average person.

But, I'm definitely not lazy. I've found that being a full time student is just as time consuming as having a full time job. It is for me at least, especially when one takes into consideration the fifty five miles that exists between my home and the campus of Michigan State University. And my feelings of indignation are further justified when I see other people trying to juggle school and a full time job. Most of them seem to fall under two categories. The first is those who seem to be dragging a bit behind. In this case it usually seems because their job is more important to them than school, and often understandably so. My brother has a pretty sweet job in the funeral industry and the fact that he's put off school for the time being seems perfectly reasonable. The other category is considerably worse than the first, and that would be the people who work full time and don't lag behind on their school, and they're completely miserable and cranky. I've yet to find a job that's worth putting school on hold for and I'm already miserable and cranky as it is. So it looks it’s like the life of a full time student for me.

I recall one time I pulled out a calculator and did some longwinded equation to determine how much my time was worth to me. I don’t remember how exactly I did it. I know I divided the number of hours I spent in class each week by a certain quantity. Divided the number of hours I spent studying each week by a different quantity, or maybe the same. I think I added the two quantities, or subtracted, and divided that by the number of hours in a week, or maybe I divided the number of hours in a week by the quantity of hours studying divided by the amount of money spent on a single credit hour. I obviously don’t recall. But, when I was finished I had determined that an hour of my time was worth sixteen dollars and thirty two cents. To me. Obviously an hour of my time isn’t worth that much money to any one else. But, I had determined that my time was that valuable to me, and to take up a job that paid less that sixteen dollars and thirty two cents an hour would essentially be a poor business choice. For me.

But, right now I find myself at one of those points where I'm being forced to get a job. In order to focus more on school and my potential future career, or lack there of, I've decided that I'm going to move to East Lansing in the fall. I've already made the arrangements, and I've managed to score myself a pretty sweet single person dorm room in the Owen Graduate Hall on the campus of MSU. So now all I have to do is get my ass a summer job.

I have experience in the world of nursing home dietary assistance, so I decided to try and find myself a place back in that familiar world.

So yesterday I'm applying for a job at a nursing home in Grand Rapids. Whilst filling out the application they have me sign a form that they intend to send to one of my previous employers. If they're going to send it to anyone, they're going to send it to Evergreen Manor, the nursing home I worked at, because that's the most recent and the most relevant. I notice that one of the questions on the form asks if the person in question has any personality traits that may interfere with their ability to perform the job at hand. I read this question and said to myself "I so totally do". I just hope that no one important was standing close enough to hear me talking underneath my breath.

Working in the kitchen at Evergreen Manor was one of the more rewarding experiences I've had in my life. Seeing to it that ninety elderly people (each with their own particular dietary needs and regulations) get fed isn't easy. You have your diabetics, people with out teeth, people who can't swallow very well, people who yell at you if you give them a banana, and my favorite; people who dump their oatmeal in the clothes bin.

I recall this one resident, his name was Charles, it said on his card that he was supposed to have thickened liquids. Charles couldn't swallow very well, but of all the people who couldn't swallow very well, Charles was one of the better ones. And his swallowing was getting better. Every time I brought him his beverage he would ask me to go get him a drink that wasn't thickened. To which I replied that I couldn't because of the specifications on his meal card. He would attempt to assure me that he was perfectly capable of handling an unthickened beverage. I knew he could, he was in decent condition. But, as long as his card said to give him thickened liquids, I had to give him thickened liquids. It broke my heart every time I had to act out this scenario. The only thing I did for Charles was turn my back whenever I saw him stealing a drink off the cart or from another resident. I knew he could handle a drink, I knew he wasn't that bad, a couple of nurses had told me he wasn't that bad. It was just that no one had done the paper work. So Charles was stuck with thickened liquids, so I did what little I could (i.e. turning a blind eye whenever he would try and steal himself an unthickened drink). Eventually they got Charles' dietary regulations altered, and I was the first dietary aid to serve him an unthickened beverage. It was a special moment for both of us.

My point is that I liked the job. I became emotionally attached to many of the residents. When I quit, it was begrudgingly. I didn't really want to. But, my school work was suffering, and I was starting to have pretty severe anxiety attacks.

And as the old cliche goes, the only thing worse than working is looking for work. This qualifies as easily one of my least favorite activities. I hate being interviewed for jobs that involve unskilled labor. I feel like I’m essentially attempting to justify my own existence at the lowest possible level. At a job interview last week I found myself becoming genuinely angry, and quite so. Some smug person sits across from me in their big, stupid seat of power behind some big, stupid desk of power (all intended, I firmly believe, to intimidate me), and I’m arguing my case for why they should allow me to allow them to turn me into functionary.

Today I applied for another dietary aid position at another nursing home, this one here in Hastings. If I could find a job in Hastings, it would make me inconceivably happy. Jobs have been quite scarce here in my home town. In fact, the “help wanted” section in the Reminder took up only one page, as opposed to the usual two pages. So far all the nursing homes I’ve applied at have been really nice. Last week I registered with a temp agency, and over the past couple of days I’ve been praying to St. Expeditus, asking him to find me a job as a dietary aid before the temp agency finds me a job. Here’s hoping St. Expeditus can out resource the Manpower conglomerate.

 
The Hurricane In Everett

House show results are becoming increasingly harder to find online, but I managed to find these results over at Rajah. The Hurricane and Rosey took a victory over La Resistance on Sunday in Everett, Washington.

A fan in attendance had this to say, and I'd have to say I agree, obviously......

-quote-

"Good God, how many times will we have to see this match? Heat, PPV, RAW, hell, I saw this match at a house show back in November (though it was Dupree instead of Grenier). Rosey and Hurricane were pretty over with the crowd. Why Helms isn’t given more to work with is beyond me."

-end quote-

It really is no wonder that we keep getting served this match, seeing as the Hurricane and Rosey and La Resistance constitute the only real tag teams on the Raw roster. They also constitute the only tag teams that aren't in the championship picture.

 
He's Doing The Work Of The Republican National Committee

Last night on Raw they showed footage of the Hurricane at the press conference for the Republican National Committee. The footage featured an out of character Shane Helms talking about voting and what not.

Two million more in 2004? Not unless you put on the frickin cape and mask. Seriously, is there a better way to attract young potential voters than to have the Hurricane strutting around in full garb?

The Hurricane faired decently in last night's battle royal, about as good as can be expected. I had a bit of a scare there for a second when he got thrown out the first time about a minute and a half into the match. But, having Rosey catch him mid air was a nice touch.


 
Doesn't Triple H Look Like Eva Unit 01?





Saturday, May 15, 2004

 
Fun With Spelling Errors

Type in the url of your favorite blog, only switch the "p" and "s" in blogspot, so that's it's spelled "blogpsot" and you'll be directed to this delightfully psychotic evangelical fundamentalist website. It works with any blog that has "blogspot" in the url. Give it a try.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

 
Apparently I'm Not The Only One....

.....who thinks the Simpsons has gone down the shitter. Me, I stopped watching new episodes after Ned Flanders forinicated with some chick. It didn't make any sense. It didn't help develop his character or add dynamic, it wasn't even funny, it just made the show more insconsistent and rediculous. And I'm sure it had to piss of this guy (I found this little gem via Gregorian Rantings).


I don't think it's a question of when they jumped the shark, but how many times and how many times they'll jump it again.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

 
Number Six Is My Favorite

Ben Weasel shares with us ten easy steps to making it big in the world of punk rock.

 
A Non-Hurricane-Related Wrestling Thought(I Don't Have Too Many Of Those)

I'm really looking forward to this Sunday's PPV. With an all time low estimated buy rate and people hypothesizing that it could indeed be the worst pay per view of all time, how could you not want to see it?

As I was just telling a friend of mine, it's either going to be disasterously bad or surprisingly good. Either way it's a must see.

The worst case scenario: it's alright. If it's surprisingly good, then we got to see a surprisingly good pay per view. If it's disasterously bad and the buyrate sucks then the WWE is going to be forced to re-evaluate their situation. But, if it's alright, and the buyrate is just so-so and not shitty, then they'll probably just wipe the sweat off their brow and continue on.

I'm totally looking forward to Mordecaie, if there's one thing Smackdown needs right now, it would have to be the hand of God. Dumass from Lords Of Pain had an amusing Mordecai theory......

-quote-

"My personal idea right now is that the WWE wants to market stuff off of the upcoming Van Helsing movie, but they thought the movie was based on the anime of same name, someone said "That Catholic guy seems like a cool wrestling character", they went to OVW to dye someone one's hair white, told the poor guy that he was a priest who was sent to the WWE to save the souls of all the evil wrestlers........"

-end quote-

If you don't know who Dumass is talking about, then I just feel sorry for you.

The man in question would be Paladin Alexander Anderson, from the anime series Hellsing. And a wrestler based on him would be a brilliant idea (they have cartoon characters based on wrestlers, why can't they have wrestlers based on cartoon characters? As I've said before, I think the new Undertaker look is just a Vampire Hunter D ripoff, and I think that's cool). He's a Catholic priest who hunts vampires under the authority of the Vatican. He's a total badass, unlike that pitiful excuse for a vampire hunter we get in Van Helsing. For the love of God, stay away from that movie. Here, I'll sum it up for ya(without spoilers, in case you don't want to heed my advise):

Priest who knows what he's talking about: Van Helsing, you kill vampires, vampires aren't human and vampires kill humans, so killing vampires is a good thing.

Van Helsing: But, you're not there when they turn back to their previous human form right before they die. I am, and it hurts me inside.

Paladin Alexander Anderson would never show that kind of weakness. What the hell happend to this post? I thought I was talking about Smackdown....

 
Warning

The post below this one is extremely long. It's an eleven page paper I wrote on the Virgin Mary in Islamic theology. It was an optional paper I wrote for a religious studies class at MSU. And it's a good thing I did it because it brought my grade up from a 3.5 to 4.0.

The main reason I post my academic work on this blog is because I've had a couple friends tell me they enjoy reading it. I imagine the average person who comes to this blog because they googled The Hurricane could probably care less, understandably so.

 
The Muslim Mary


Love for Mary the mother of Jesus runs so deep amongst the Muslim world that a select few have even hypothesized that she was a man. Farid al-Din al-Attar, a man who wrote biographies on Sufi saints, once wrote; “attainment of purpose lies not in appearance but in sincerity of purpose.......Since a woman on the path of God becomes a man, she cannot be called a woman”.

Those who proposed or supported this particular hypothesis referred to verse 43 of the third Sura, which tells Mary to “prostrate thyself and bow with those who worship”. The phrase “those who worship” is referring specifically to the men. In this verse God is directing Mary to pray with the male members of the community. Also, the fact that Mary is the only women in the Koran referred to by name may have also played a small part in egging this theory on.

This idea is not something that is totally ignored in Christianity. There is a passage in the apocryphal Gospel of Thomas in which Jesus makes a remark about how he’s going to turn Mary into a man. However, this is often taken out of context, as in this passage Jesus also makes a remark about making one into two or two into one, I can’t remember specifically which way it went. But, the point is that in this particular passage taken from the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus is clearly speaking in an paradoxical sense and he doesn’t have any intention of actually turning Mary into a man.

Fortunately, this idea of Mary being a man is rejected by the overwhelmingly vast majority of Muslims. In fact, I imagine you’d be hard pressed to find a Muslim who has been familiarized with this theory. It remains exclusive to a small number of Muslim thinkers. And I suppose it’s a good thing that this theory never caught on. Because, just as Muhammad serves as the exemplar of the ideal Muslim man, Mary, as the sinless virgin mother of Jesus, serves as the exemplar of the ideal Muslim woman.

As I previously mentioned, Mary is the only woman in the Koran to be referred to by name. Not only that, but she also has the fourth most mentioned name in the Koran, coming in after Moses, Abraham, and Noah. She manages to outrank the likes of Adam, Lot, Jacob, Ishmael, Jonah, Elias, Zachariah, John, and even Jesus himself, with her name appearing in the Koran a total of thirty four times.

The fact that she outranks Jesus is due in part to the fact that whenever Jesus’ name is evoked, Mary’s is as well. Mary’s name appears alone in the Koran eleven times. Whereas, her name annexed with that of her son’s appears twenty three times. The Koran uses three different appellations when referring to Jesus. There’s al Masih ibn Maryam, which means “the Christ, son of Mary”, this title appears five times. The title Issa ibn Maryam, which means simply “Jesus son of Mary”, appears thirteen times. And the title al Masih Issa ibn Maryam, which means “the Christ Jesus, son of Mary”, appears three times.

It is in this that I think Muhammad shared a commonality with the Catholic Church. Muhammad always looked at Mary from a relative angle. That angle being Mary’s relationship to Christ Jesus. Muhammad sees their destinies as intertwined. The Koran depicts Mary and Jesus as serving as an ayat, a sign. But, the significance is that neither Jesus nor Mary is a sign in and of them selves. The two together, and their relationship to each other, that’s what constitutes the sign.

In Surah 21 verse 91 we read; “And she who was chaste, therefore We breathed intho her (something) of Our spirit and made her and her son a token (sign) for all people”. In the translation of the Koran that I own, which is The Glorious Qur’an 1st English Edition 2000 by Mohammad Marmaduke Pickthall, it uses the word “token”. The Arabic word here is supposed to be ayat, and is usually translated as “sign”.

In Surah 23 verse 50 we read; “And We made the son of Mary and his mother a portent, and We gave them refuge on a height, a place of flocks and water-springs”. Here the word “portent” is used, but in the original Arabic it’s the same word used in Surah 21 verse 91.

Mary in her sinlessness, Jesus in his prophethood and sinlessness, and their relationship to each other vis a vis the virgin birth is what constitutes the ayat. And what’s more, no where else in the Koran is another human being referred to as an ayat. This appellation is reserved for Mary and Jesus alone. Although, as I already said, neither of the two constitutes an ayat in and of themselves.

Mary and Jesus aren’t the only ayat, as the Koran also uses the title for things like the creation of the earth, wind, lightning, even sleep. But, Jesus and Mary are the only human beings who serve as an ayat.

Now there are thirteen surahs in the Koran which make direct reference to Mary. Four of these belong to the Meccan period (Surahs 19, 21, 23, and 43) and nine of them come from the Medinian period (Surahs 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 33, 57, 61, and 66). Muhammad recited revelations about Mary at the beginning of his prophetic period well until his death. Over the course of this period Muhammad’s attitude towards Mary never changes. She is to be elevated above all women of the universe. She’s to be elevated above all of Muhammad’s wives and daughters. She’s to be elevated above Hagar, the mother of the Arab people. She’s even held higher than Khadija, Aisha, and Fatima. She’s the most revered woman in Islam, sinless and pure, protected from Satan.

The Surahs which focus the most on Mary are Surah 19 and Surah 3. Surah 19 was written during the Meccan period during the pinnacle of Christianity’s influence on Muhammad. It constitutes the Koran’s first foray into John, Jesus, and Mary. Sura 3 was written during the Medinian period and goes into further detail about the life and mission of Jesus than Surah 19 managed to.

Unlike the Gospels, the Koran has a narrative on the birth of Mary.

In Surah 3:35 we read; “ Remember when the wife of Imran said: My Lord! I have vowed unto Thee that which is in my belly as a consecrated offering. Accept it from me”. Here we see the wife of Imran offering her unborn child as a gift to God. But, when Mary is born the wife of Imran is perplexed to see that she has given birth to a girl. God reassures her that He knew in advance that the child was to be a girl, and He tells her that He will protect her and her offspring from Satan. This here is a reference to God’s intention to create Mary and Jesus sinless and pure. He will protect them from being poked by the devil. This refers to an Islamic idea of Satan poking babies when they’re born. This is kind of like the Christian concept of the stain of Original Sin, but totally different, as Islamic law fervently denounces the very notion of Original Sin. But, Satan does seem to poke new born babies. And God gives His promise to the wife of Imran that neither Mary nor Jesus will be poked by Satan.

Right from the get go we start to see where Koranic text varies from Christian tradition. The apocryphal Proto-evangelium of James clarifies that Mary’s father was named Joachim. In the Koran he is identified as Imran. There could be some symbolic significance to this as Moses’ father is identified as being named Imran, and all Prophets are referred to as being in the family of Imran.

Which brings me to another point, the debate over whether or not Mary was a prophet. This stems from the fact that the Koran states specifically that Mary received messages from God. In 1064 a Muslim scholar named Zahirite ibn Hazam, who lived in Cordova, wrote a tract on the subject which generated much controversy. He espoused the belief that women could attain prophethood. He included Mary in this because if any woman was a prophet, Mary was. He believed that women could be prophets, receiving messages from God, but they couldn’t be messengers, declaring these messages to people. Mary obviously received messages from God and she never declared them to the people. She was never a “Warner”. Sunni theology fervently rejected the doctrine of Mary’s prophethood and labeled it bid’a. On a side note, the Catholic Church attributes the title “prophet” to Mary, amongst all the other titles given to her.

Also unlike the Gospels, the Koranic narrative delves into Mary’s youth, i.e. the time she spent in the Temple.

In Surah 19: 16-17 we read; “And make mention of Mary in the Scripture, when she had withdrawn from her people to a chamber looking East. And hath chosen seclusion from them”. When Mary is born, her parents are of old age, and her father dies whilst she is still very young. At the temple lots are cast to see who will become the guardian of Mary and the job goes to Zachariah, who will become the father of John. The Koran teaches that Mary was presented in the Temple and was a Temple virgin, a belief also held by the Catholic Church.

Mary takes residence in a mihrab (shrine) in the Temple. She lives in seclusion behind a veil (hijab). In Surah 3:37 we read that “whenever Zachariah went into the sanctuary where she was, he found that she had food”. Under the guardianship of Zacharia, Mary is choosing to live her life in isolation, protecting her chastity. Whenever Zacharia pops in to see if Mary is alright, he sees that she has food, even though he’s the one who’s supposed to be providing her with food. But, God beat him to it. While Mary has been put in the legal custody of Zachariah, it’s God who is providing for her.

And it’s in this secluded sanctuary that Mary receives the Annunciation. This is opposed to Christian traditions which usually place Mary either at a well or behind a sewing wheel, or something like that. Either way, Christian tradition doesn’t agree with Koranic narrative on the location of the Annunciation.

In Sura 19 verses 17-21 we read; “And had chosen seclusion for herself. Then We sent unto her Our Spirit and it assumed for her the likeness of a perfect man. She said: Lo! I seek refuge in the Beneficent One from thee, if thou are God-fearing. He said: I am only a messenger of the Lord, that I may bestow on the a faultless son. She said: How can I have a son when no mortal hath touch me, neither have I been unchaste? He said: So it will be. Thy Lord saith: It is easy for Me”. The angel, traditionally believed to be Gabriel, appears before Mary in the form of a perfectly proportioned man. Living in seclusion and not wanting to be seen by other men for fear of her chastity (shame), she’s afraid of the man and tells him that if he fears God he’s to depart. Then the angel delivers the message of her pregnancy.

In my translation of the Koran we see Mary use the expression “neither have I been unchaste”. I think my translation is a bit loose, as this line is elsewhere translated as “I am not a prostitute”. This signifies the fact that Mary fears her very chastity is in question.

Also it’s in this that we see a similarity betwixt Catholic and Islamic theology. When the angel appears before Mary and tells her that she’s going to have a child, she replies that it’s impossible. Both Catholic and Muslim scholars have taken this to mean that Mary had no intention of ever having relations with a man. Had she intended to, when the angel delivered his message she would have automatically assumed that he meant she would get pregnant once she got married. But, Mary’s intentions were to refrain from sexual relations for the entirety of her life. So when the angel delivers this message Mary is very much perplexed.

This Annunciation narrative parallels the story of Zachariah receiving word about his son to come, John. They receive their messages both around the same time. And both respond with skepticism. However, in the case of Zachariah, his skepticism comes about as a result of a doubtful heart. Whereas Mary’s skepticism is a result of a seemingly ridiculous message. In addition to that, Mary fears that her purity is being questioned. And since her purity was given to her by God, she fears that the perfectly proportioned man is questioning God. So in a way, Mary’s skepticism was a result of her deeply seated faith in God, and Zachariah’s skepticism was a result of doubt. So as a result Zachariah is punished by God by having his voice taken away for three days. This account varies from the narrative we find in the Gospel of Luke which says “you will become mute, unable to speak, until the day these things occur”. In the Koran Zachariah is made mute for three days, where as in the book of Luke, Zachariah is made mute until the birth of his son.

In the Gospel of Luke, after receiving the message from the angel Mary “went with hast into a Judean town in the hill country, where she entered the house of Zachariah and greeted Elizabeth”. The Koran fails to address what Christian tradition refers to as “The Visitation”. In this particular narrative, the child in Elizabeth’s womb leaps for joy as soon as he hears Mary’s voice. In Islamic tradition there’s a similar story which has John prostrating in the womb, as all the angels had prostrated before Adam.

Koranic narratives differ from the Gospels in the location of the birth of Christ as well. The Koran says that Mary withdrew to a far away place and gave birth to Jesus under a palm tree. In Surah 19 verse 23 Mary cries out; “Oh, would I had died ere this and had become a thing of naught, forgotten!”. There are a couple different interpretations on this passage. The obvious one is that of the pain of childbirth, but there’s also the theory that Mary was mourning her chastity and reputation. She’s done her darnedest to protect her chastity, but now with her newborn son, everyone is going to get the wrong idea. When Mary returns to the town, the people question her chastity saying “Thy father was not a wicked man nor was thy mother a harlot”. Mary says nothing, as she has taken a solemn fast in which she doesn’t speak to people. Instead she points to her new born child who begins to speak from the cradle, saying “Lo! I am a slave of Allah. He hath given me the Scripture and hath made me a prophet”.

This passage dealing with the birth of Jesus alludes to another point that I’d like to delve into. That point being the issue of Joseph. In the story taken from Surah 19 Mary is
in pain and cries out that she would rather be dead. God causes a stream to flow just for her and he instructs her to shake the palm tree. When she shakes the palm tree ripe dates fall into her lap. What I find most interesting about this narrative is the implication that Mary was all alone. She has no one to fetch her water or get her some food. Plus, she has to shake the tree herself. All of this indicates that Mary gave birth to Christ Jesus in solitude.

The Koran makes no mention of Joseph, although some Islamic traditions have made mentioned of Joseph as Mary’s cousin and companion. But, the Koran never mentions Mary having a husband. The figure of Joseph is such a crucial one in the Gospel narratives. So his exclusion from the Koranic narratives dealing with Mary sort of puzzled me for a while.

But, I think there are probably two reasons for this. First, the Koran emphasizes Zachariah as the guardian of Mary. In Catholic theology, the role of Joseph in regards to Mary is that of a guardian. Although legally married, Joseph is portrayed as more of a guardian than a husband per se, as some traditions hold that Joseph was as much as seventy years older than Mary. If these were the traditions that Muhammad was exposed to and he wanted to emphasize Zachariah as Mary’s guardian, due to their parallel in their annunciation narratives or whatever reason, then I could see why Muhammad would leave the issue of Joseph relatively untouched. But, that’s just my theory, and I could be way off on that one.

I also have another theory for why Muhammad would exclude Joseph from Koranic Marian narratives. Islamic law forbids adoption. In the fifth verse of the thirty third Surah it instructs Muslims to “proclaim their real parentage”. From certain Islamic perspectives, adopted children have been thought of as bad blooded with no real right to their adopted father’s inheritance, and thus a thief. This just isn’t befitting of a prophet. So the character of Joseph is downplayed in Islamic tradition and flat out ignored in the Koran.

In Islamic theology, Jesus is very much fatherless. He has no foster father, in Joseph. And neither is God his father. In pre-Islamic and modern Arabian society, sons are needed for inheritance. If a man is very wealthy he has to have a son, so he can have someone to pass his inheritance on to. To imply that God had a son is to imply necessity on the part of God. And that just can’t be.

In Christianity there is very little written about the life of Mary. The main source for Marian doctrine is taken from apocryphal Proto-evangelium of James. This document and the narratives in the Koran vary quite a bit. The big one has to do with the name of Mary’s father, which the Koran says is Imran and the Proto-evangelium says is Joachim. They disagree on the locus of the Annunciation. They disagree on the issue of guardianship, as the Koran gives the entirety of that task to Zacharia, and the Proto-evangelium has Mary being betrothed to Joseph. But, these two narratives also converge on a few points. They both agree on Mary’s virginity and purity. They both agree on her consecration and life of seclusion in the Temple. And, of course, they both agree on the virgin birth of Christ.

During the fifth year of Muhammad’s prophetic period he allowed some of the poorer Muslims to emigrate to Abyssinia, a Christian country, to escape persecution. The rulers of Mecca sent ambassadors to apprehend these Muslims. The king of Abyssinia held a meeting with the leader of this convoy, Ja’far ibn Abi Talib the cousin of Muhammad. He asked Ja’far what the Koran said about Jesus and Mary. Ja’far responded by reciting a passage from the nineteenth surah. When Ja’far was finished reciting the king replied; “Pick up a twig from the ground. Between what your leader said about Jesus and Mary and what I believe there is not more than a twig’s worth of significance”. The king refused to hand the Muslims over to the Meccans.

Muhammad chose Mary as the mathal (model) for the ideal Muslim women. She’s the exemplar. Muslim women are supposed to live according to her example. In fact, in some villages in Lebanon and Syria, young Shi’ite women observe what is called “the virgin’s fast”, commemorating the fasting Mary underwent after having given birth to Christ. This fast is not only from food, but speaking as well.

Muhammad also made frequent defenses of Mary against slander from Jews. In verse one hundred and fifty six of the fourth Surah, Muhammad ridicules the Jewish people for “their disbelief and their speaking against Mary a tremendous calumny”.

Muhammad obviously had a deep love for Mary, especially if he elevated her above his very own wives and daughters. And I believe Rev. Nilo Geagea put it best in his book Mary Of The Koran: A Meeting Point Between Christianity and Islam when he said: “[B]y proposing Mary as a mathal (model), Muhammad had in mind not only a religious but a social purpose for the Moslem woman. He intended to raise her from the downtrodden condition in which she was living and give back her former dignity and prestige”.




bibliography:
The Glorious Qur’an 1st Edition 2000 by Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall, Tahrike Tarsile Qur’an, Inc., 2000.

Mary Of The Koran: A Meeting Point Between Christianity and Islam by Rev. Nilo Geagea, translated and edited by Rev. Lawrence T. Fares, Philosophical Library New York, 1984.

The New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition Canadian Conference Of Catholic Bishops, Catholic Bible Press a Division of Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1993

Quranic Christians: An Analyses Of Classical And Modern Exegesis by Jane Dammen McAuliffe, Cambridge University Press, 1991.

Women In The Qur’an, Traditions, and Interpretations by Barbara Freyer Stowasser, Oxford University Press, 1994.

 
Regaining Lost Posts

When I logged on today I noticed that my little post counter was at 249, which is odd, because last time I blogged the little post counter was at 229. So I assumed that my blog must have regained all the posts from August it had lost. About a week ago, I noticed that almost all of my posts in the August archive were missing, which was kind of disheartening because that's where I had my mini-ethnography on Seventh Day Adventitsts and my post about the Raw show at the Van Andel in which the Hurricane pointed at me.
My hunch was right, and Blogger managed to regain those lost posts. Which is good, because in addition to serving as a means to getting my work read by people, I also see this blog as a means of keeping track of everything I've written. I'd hate to have lost those posts forever.

Monday, May 10, 2004

 
The Hurricane And The Republican National Committee

In addition to participating in the 20 man battle royal to determine the number one contender for the World Heavyweight title, a week from today the Hurricane will be making an appearance at a press conference for the Republican National Committee.

 
Whooo, Comments!!

I've finally managed to successfully add the comments feature to my blog. Now I'll finally know what you guys really think of me.

 
Celebrities and Their Religions, It's Never Not An Absolutely Horrible Combination

I found this little story via Catholic Light. Apparently Britney Spears, the deeply spiritual person that she is, decided to get herself a Kabbalah tattoo.

-quote-

"Britney Spears was trying to think of a way to prove her newfound devotion to the study of the Kabbalah beside wearing one of those trendy red string bracelets, so she reportedly had some Hebrew characters tattooed on the back of her neck.

Now, Britney thought her new ink said "new era," to symbolize her spiritual rebirth, but, apparently, the tattoo artist accidentally reversed the characters and the tattoo ended up making no sense at all. Not only that, the Kabbalah says that permanently marking the body in any way is a no-no."


-end quote-

I recall one time in a religion class one of the students mentioned Madonna's exploration into Kabbalah, to which the professor replied; "Yeah.......she's an idiot".

And whilst I'm on the subject of idiot celebrities and their religions, I remember this one interview I saw with Anne Rice. She was talking about how she had left the Catholic Church and then later decided to come back, her thinking behind this: "I realized that I don't have to believe everything the Catholic Church teaches. For instance, I don't believe that all homosexuals are going to hell". I've yet to find the section in the Catechism of the Catholic Church where it says that all homosexuals go to hell, but still, isn't the Church lucky to have her back?

 
HEY GUYS, WHAT'S GOIN ON?

Once when pondering the issue of Clay Aiken starting his own blog, Dr. Frank stated that he thinks blogging should become a new requirement for all professional musicians. I'd have to agree, and it's with this idea in mind that I thought I'd point out that Ashlee Simpson has a blog. If you don't know who she is, she's Jessica Simpson's little sister. I know her as Cecilia from Seventh Heaven (I happen to really enjoy that show as it reminds me of old family sitcoms like Father Knows Best). The blog, as I take it, seems to be her effort to keep her fans updated as she attempts to make it in the pop music business. She's obviously smarter than her older sister, as she's managed to start and occasionally update her very own blog as well as realize the great utility blogging can serve for professional musicians now a days. But, she isn't that smart as she sometimes forgets to turn off the caps lock, and she begins half of her posts with "Hey guys, what's goin on?".

 
Blog

It seems Blogger has underwent a bit of an overhaul. If there's one thing I don't like it would have to be change, but I'll do my damnedest to get used to it. On the plus side, its got some new dandy features, for instance I now have a little meter that tells me how many posts I've made on my blog during the duration of my blogging career, which would be 227 (including this post, that would bring me to an even 228). There's also some new templates, I might change my template in the near future, but then, I might not want to put my readers threw the same uneasiness I'm currently going threw as I adjust to this new Blogger.

 
Rewarded For Coming Back From An Idiotic Injury

Kevin Nash, Bob Holly, Bill Gunn, the list goes on as Matt Seagull discusses wrestlers receiving pushes that the fans don't really care to see due to their "veteran" status...

-quote-

"These should be the roles of the veterans. Wise men beyond their years who can take minor roles in the program to help the young ones succeed. They should not, however, hog the spotlight. And that's precisely what's going on with JBL and now Jacqueline. Vince should look at his company like a high school football team. He should want the best performers out there to put on the best show. I believe that guys like Paul London and The Hurricane can do just that."

-end quote-

I think I've actually seen Paul London wrestler more times in person that I have on TV.

Saturday, May 08, 2004

 
Then What Would I Blog About?

Mr. Tito makes a prediction in his latest Raw review.....
-quote-

"Next match was Hurricane vs. Rob Conway. Basically a singles match to keep Rob Conway noticed since he'll be wrestling Eugene next week. Hurricane loses, and I guarantee Shane Helms is out of the WWE when the chance comes up"

-end quote-

It seems that at this point, I'm not too certain as to what exactly I want to see. I do know that I hate seeing the Hurricane jobbing to the likes of Rob Conway, simply so fans won't forget Conway's name heading into his match with Eugen. And I'll take Mr. Tito's predictions over these words from Octavio Fierros of PWTorch.com, which I pointed out a couple of montsh ago.....

-quote-

"Shane Helms probably knows he might never win a title, but is having a fun time and he is considered lucky to be wrestling for the number one promotion in wrestling."

-end quote-

Quite contrary opinions we have here. I am much more apt to take Mr. Tito's side. The Hurricane is in no way lucky to be wrestling for the WWE. I wouldn't be surprised to see him leave, I wouldn't be upset either.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

 
The Hurricane On Raw

So the Hurricane was on Raw last night jobbing to Rob Conway. Rob Conway, I assume, is probably going to be jobbing to Eugene next week, because Eugene is Rain Man and it doesn't seem proper to have this idiot savant jobbing his first televised match. So essentially, the Hurricane jobbed last night to give Rob Conway some momentum going into his match against Eugene. A match, it seems, he's going to lose. This is what my favorite wrestler was up to last night. And not only did he job. He jobbed cleanly. This is what the Hurricane has been up to for the past month, serving as a minor character in the current Eugene story. That's just great.

And here we see the greatest wrestler in the business right now selling for a guy with some decent in ring skills, but no real future as a major contender in this industry, apart from storylines that revolve around him feuding with retards.


Sunday, May 02, 2004

 
Give Me Something To Write On

The Celibate In The City gal discusses the dynamics of the student-teacher crush.

I wonder if she's aware of the antithetical side of the "Hot For Teacher" dichotomy. Or maybe this is just the way I see it, but experience has taught me that for every male student making googly eyes at his teacher there's a female student shooting the old evil eye.

Last summer I was taking this class on data analysis in psychological research. A pretty boring class that was much more "data analysis" than "psychological research". It was a math class disguised as a psychology class. Something I would have absolutely hated, had not the teacher been so absolutely frickin' hot.

And she had this assertive quality about her that I absolutely loved. Typically, it's not a quality I appreciate. But when it creates awkward moments in class, which I always enjoy, then it's more than welcome in my book. I remember on one occasion she asked a question. Following the question came the subsequential obligatory awkward silence. And then she said the words I had been dying to hear a teacher say for years: "I'm just going to stand here until someone answers the question". Of course I didn't know the answer, so I wasn't much help. But, right then and there I had never been so tempted to stand up and openly declare my affection for a class instructor.

But, one thing that definitely stuck out to me, while I absolutely adored this teacher, some of the girls in the class didn't seem to share my same adoration. Before class I was constantly overhearing girls sitting behind me (yes, that's right, I was right up in the front row, that says a lot considering that this class was essentially a math class) talking about how bitchy they thought the teacher was. Of course I saw right threw this. These girls were just cranky because the instructor was light years hotter than any of the students in this class.

Unlike the guy in this particular Celibate In The City anecdote, I never made any overt efforts to notify the teacher of how hot I thought she was. But, when it came time for the end of semester evaluation, I did one of the more reprehensible things I've done in my academic career. If you're not familiar with teacher evaluation sheets, let me quickly explain. They have a series of statements, such as "the teacher was affective" or "the course was worthwhile", and you rate them on a scale of one to five. One being "strongly disagree" and five being "strongly agree". When I was handed the sheet, I covered the questions with my left hand whilst giving her straight fives with my right hand. It wouldn't have been so bad, had I not earlier that day given an unattractive female teacher one of the worst evaluations I've ever given (the worst evaluation I've ever given went to my social psychology teacher, one Mr. William Jellison, he fucking sucked). I didn't give her a bad review because she was unattractive, but because she was a bad teacher. But, the whole scenario of having given the hot teacher straight fives and the relatively unattractive teacher a fairly bad review made me feel somewhat wrong.

 
The Hurricane Joins Forces With Eugene In Texas

Last night at a house show in Lubbock, Texas it was The Hurricane, Rosey, and Eugene against La Resistance and Johnny Nitro. This match saw Hurrican taking the pinfall, with Eugene doing no actual wrestling. Apparently, the three men celebrated their victory by running around the ring like airplanes. As much as I love the Eugene character, I don't like seeing my favorite wrestler constantly being used in matches that serve no purpose other than pushing the Eugene premise. But, I am looking forward to finally seeing him wrestle, if he actually does do some actual wrestling in his upcoming televised match. I've been enjoying the retard gimmick, and I'm definitely looking forward to where they might be taking it since I read that the current plan is to do sort of a "Rain Man" type thing. They've already hinted at it on TV with Eugene rambling off random facts about Pat Patterson. Of course we do know how the WWE loves to have certain story lines never come to a proper fruition, let alone conclusion. Remember Little Johnny? But, even if this is another go nowhere story line, at least it's fun to see Eugene shoot people in the nuts with the t-shirt gun.