Sunday, February 29, 2004

 
The End Of The Month Hurri-talley

Here's how the Hurricane faired in the month of February.

Wins: 3

Losses: 6

Appearances Made On Monday Night RAW: 1



 
The Hurricane Wrestles Kane Again, Similar Results

Yesterday at a house show in Birmingham, Alabama the Hurricane jobbed to Kane again.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

 
Another Hurricane Squash Match

Yesterday at a house show in Montgomery, Alabama the Hurricane jobbed to Kane. Like previous Hurricane/Kane matches, this one was a total squash match and was pretty short. There was plenty bell tolling, as one would expect.

 
Forget My Previous Post

It seems that Edge went and got himself a minor ankle injury over at the OVW. This is expected to add a slight delay to his return. Although it isn't specified how slight, I think it's safe to say he won't be back in time for the Smackdown at the Van Andel.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

 
Edge To Smackdown, Dammit!

But then again, my opinion on this particular issue may be kind of biased. I just got some tickets to a Smackdown taping at the Van Andel on March 23rd. If Edge goes to Smackdown post Wrestlemania, then I get to see Edge live. If he goes to Raw, then I don't get to see him.

But, right now it seems as though Raw is the worst possible place for someone in the position of Edge. Right now it's proving to be the worst possible place for Benoit to be. If you're at that point where you're pass the "up and coming" phase and working towards the main eventing phase, then for the love of God, you shouldn't be on Raw.

It sort of makes me wonder about all those fears that Cena would have outshined Micheals had he come to Raw. But, with the way Micheals has been acting as of late, I have to wonder if Cena would have even gotten a chance to outshine Micheals. Or would Micheals have used his backstage power to prevent Cena from getting his fair share of TV time?

What I really want to see is everyone worthwhile on Raw head over to Smackdown. HHH and HBK can continue to work their programs on TV and ratings can continue to stagnate. But at least let those really good wrestlers go somewhere where they'll wrestle in a match every now and then. If Jericho was on Smackdown now he would probably be main eventing to the same extent that HBK is currently. Instead he's caught up in a soap opera story line that doesn't seem to serve any true function accept for keeping Jericho out of the world heavyweight championship picture. Oh yeah, and setting up for a sweet match against Christian at WM XX, but that's beside the point.

My ultimate wrestling fantasy at this point, would be to see the Hurricane traded over to Smackdown sometime within the next three weeks, and get himself booked into the cruiserweight battle royal. But, that obviously isn't going to happen. So I'm humoring the more plausible notion. The Hurricane going over to Smackdown at any point in time. I would love to see him competing against Akio, Ultimo Dragon, Jamie Noble, Charlie Haas, etc. Instead, now we have him jobbing to Jade and/or Kindrak every other week.

But, back to my original idea. Edge needs to be on Smackdown. Because Raw pushes go like this: 1. They built up a program betwixt you and Triple H, leading to a PPV main event. 2. Triple H completely squashes you. 3. You're fucked.

By the time Triple H is finished with ya, he's made you look so stupid that the fans don't buy into you anymore. If he can make it happen to Kane, I imagine Edge would be walk in the park.

 
Two Thoughts On The Passion, And That's It, I Promise.

Thought The First: Apart from the anti-semitism charges, which aren't even worth humoring any more, the one complaint I keep hearing about this movie is that it focuses too much on the crucifxion of Christ. Numerous critics have voiced the view that the movie gets carried away with all the suffering Christ had to endure whilst not putting any focus on his life or his resurrection.

NO FUCKING SHIT!

Who would have thought that a movie called The Passion Of The Christ would actually deal exclusively with the Passion of Christ? It's like all those idiots who were surprised when they went and saw Dude, Where's My Car?. They couldn't believe that the entire movie was about two guys looking for their car.

It reminds me of this one time I was explaining the premise of Kill Bill to someone:
"Well, it's about this lady that's out to kill a bunch of people. In particular, this Bill fella."

Thought The Second: Why is Mel Gibson's dad even in the news? He isn't dangerous, he isn't controversial. He's a character. Like Cotton Hill, or something of that nature. Old crazy folks with whacky conspiracy theories are a staple of American culture. I have an old, senile grandma who believes with all her heart that the Pope is the anti-Christ. Do I take offense to this? No, not in the least. I actually find it kind of amusing.

I'd kind of like to meet Hutton Gibson. He sounds like a trip. You live in a small town like Hastings, and you run into these sort of people all the time. I've learned to love them. Plus, the fact that Mel Gibson has too much fear and respect for his father to say anything overtly contrary to him, shows me that Hutton did a good job of raising him.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

 
Thanks Again WWE. You Bastards

You know that in the past year I've spent over a hundred dollars on Hurricane related merchandise. Two t-shirts, two action figures, two necklaces, and a key chain. That comes out to a little over a hundred dollars. I like to think of this as one of those voting with my dollars situations. What better way to let the WWE know which wrestlers entertain me the most then to buy their merchandise. I know they're not taking any polls. And as the old expression goes, money talks. Well, my money is talking, as is that of a lot of other Hurricane fans, but the WWE just don't seem to be able to hear very well. If only there was some way to make money louder.

For the second week in a row, the Hurricane hasn't been on Raw. The last time he was on Raw it was the first time he had been on Raw in three weeks, and that match was a squash match that was merely intended to set up another Kane/Undertaker segment. Last week they had the Hurricane jobbing to John Heidenreich. So what was going on this week for the Hurricane? He and Rosey were on Heat jobbing to Kade and Jindrak. The same guys they jobbed to on Heat three weeks ago. And if memory serves me right, which I'm sure it doesn't but it's close enough, they also jobbed to them three weeks before that. And Kade and Jindrak were also the team that made the Hurricane and Rosey look stupid in the tag team turmoil at Armageddon. My point: WE GET IT! They have bigger plans for Kade and Jindrak, as a team, then they do for Rosey and the Hurricane. So why don't they just get to it already? If you're going to have the best wrestler in the business constantly jobbing to these guys, then go ahead and push the hell out of them. Don't have the Hurricane jobbing and meanwhile not do anything with the guys he's jobbing to.

Not that I want to see the team of Kade and Jindrak go anywhere. I noticed that Al Snow stopped referring to them as "Jade and Kindrak". I wonder what that's about. The tag team division on both rosters is currently pathetic. RVD and Booker T taking the titles in their first match as a team. Flair and Batista taking the titles made sense, because they're faction members, and it fit in with the whole "Evolution has all the belts" story, which I was totally digging. But now to have RVD and Booker T take the titles. Two guys who have nothing in common accept the fact that the higher ups don't know what to do with them. That seems to sum up the tag team division. And who do we have as champions on Smackdown? Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty. Does anyone even remember why these guys were hanging out together in the first place? I remember Too Cool would give Rikishi sunglasses and make him dance. Was there a storyline at some point that made this make sense? I know we're talking like five years ago here.

To sum up:
1. I've spent a lot of money on Hurricane merchandise, and I want to see the Hurricane kick some ass.
2. The tag team divisions are both currently worse than the women's division.
3. Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty would be a lot cooler if they called themselves The New Headshrinkers. It would be almost as cool as The New Rockers. They could call themselves Fatu and Skatu.

 
New Hurricane Website

Here's a new website dedicated to Ace Reporter Gregory Helms. It's been around for a couple of months, and I just had it pointed out to me. It's a neat site with an appropriate theme. And they couldn't have picked a better time to start the site up, seeing as the Hurricane hasn't done any Gregory Helms segments in about eight months. I know he hasn't done any since I started this blog, thank you very much WWE. You bastards.

Monday, February 23, 2004

 
Cruel Angel's Antithesis

This guy died. As an Evangelion fan, the song has sort of become a staple in my life over that past two years. The way in which the song was utilized in the series, I think, is really a good example of how a song can become something completely different from what the author had originally intended. Most people seem to associate this song with Frank Sinatra. I associate this song with Shinji Ikari's pupils dilating.

 
Picutres From The MTX Show

Alright, here are some pictures from the MTX show last week. Thanks to Josiah for taking these pictures. Thanks to my brother, Andrew, for uploading them, or whatever it is when you cause pictures to be on the internet.

Bobby J. And Myself

Apart from the pictures taken of certain roadside attractions and the gas station we visited, this was the first picture of the evening. Bobby J. is a hell of a cool guy, and he kind of reminds me of my friend Don, who is also a bass player. I was trying to explain this to my friends on the car ride home. My friend Don has a very distint manner of talking and moving about. Last summer I had an anthropology teacher who reminded me of my friend Don to the point that it made me laugh at times. He talked just like Don, he walked just like Don, and unlike Bobby J., he even looked just like him. What made it really wierd, his name was also Don. It kind of reminded me of that one Kids In The Hall Sketch:

Bruce McCoullagh's character: "I had a friend named Don once. I saved his life."
Kevin McDonald's character: "...thank you?"

Ruth's Hat Kicking Some Ass

If you've never seen Ruth's Hat live, then you're not a true Michigander. Or a Canadian for that matter. If you were to ask me, I'd say they're practically the same thing.


Dr. Frank And Bobby J. Singing the Doo-doo-doos In "Oh, Just Have Some Faith In Me"

There were three songs from Yesterday Rules that I thought they absolutely had to play. Those being the first three songs on the CD. And they played all three of them, perfectly. I thought "Fucked Up On Life" sounded like a hard tune to pull of live when I first heard it, but I think you can figure out how it turned out. And if you can't, then let me repeat myself. Perfectly.

Ted Tuning Up

Notice the beaming blueness of his guitar and how it contrasts with the bright red light that shines across his face. Almost as if he and his guitar are in two different worlds. Kind of sad. Although, hardly indicative of real life, as he and his guitar got along perfectly. It made me kind of wish that I didn't suck at music.


Jym, The Drummer

Jym is the drummer for MTX. I get tired just watching him. But, then again standing in the same place for two hours under hot lights may have also contributed.


Dr. Frank And Myself

Here I am, with my hero, Dr. Frank. There's some light shining behind my head that makes it look like I've got a huge welt or something. Notice Dr. Frank rocking the Ozzy t-shirt. This amused me for one obscure reason. Seven years ago, when I was first getting into MTX, there was a show on MTV called "Twelve Angry Viewers". They would have twelve people watch three videos on each episode and they would pick the video they liked the best. The winner videos would go on to the final round on Friday and the winner of that would be entered into regular rotation. Because of this stupid show, some godawful band called Fret Blanket managed to get their video heavily played on MTV for a couple of months and then everyone forgot about them. Anyways, I remember, in one particular episode they featured the MTX video "...and I Will Be With You". Given the reaction of the guys on the show, it was clear that MTX would have gone on to the finals, had not one of the other videos been that of Ozzy Osbourne. I sometimes wonder what would have happened had Ozzy not been on that show. Would MTX have gone the way of Fret Blanket? If so, then it's probably better this way. I'd hate to have my favorite band in the world become known amongst certain circles of people as "that one band that got their video into heavy rotation on MTV because of that stupid show, and then dissappeared into oblivion". It's just wierd to think that seven years ago, on MTV, in the middle of the day (not on 120 Minutes or one of those other "alternative" shows that got aired in the middle of the night), twelve people spent seven minutes discussing the Mr. T Experience.

Sunday, February 22, 2004

 
What Did The Five Fingers Say To The Face?

If you enjoy being slapped in the face by a company for whom you've had an undying loyalty for as long as you can remember, then be sure to tune into Heat tonight to watch the Hurricane job to Heidenreich. If you don't feel like sitting through twenty five minutes of recaps of what happened on Raw, then I'll go ahead and let you know that the Hurricane match is the final one on the show, so you can tune in around ten to eight and catch this match. But, you really should watch the entire show, because the Coach and Al Snow are currently the most entertaining announcing duo on WWE TV for the time being.

 
The Hurricane Talks About Retiring (See, This Is One Of Those Articles Where You Give It A Title That Makes It Sound As Though You're About To Deliver Some Major News When In Actuality You're Just Doing Another Fluff Piece. It's An Age Old Journalistic Technique Called "Being A Dick".)

But, I thought I'd point this out, since it is Hurricane related. WWE.com recently asked a few superstars what they planned on doing when they retired. The Hurricane's response: "... come back and retire three more times."



Saturday, February 21, 2004

 
Hitler Always Wins

I felt kind of stupid. I wasn't planning on drinking that night and I was smoking a cigarette. And I didn't feel like reaching for my wallet with my left hand. So instead, I ended up taking the old black X on the back of the hand. The old black X that stays around for two days following the show. The whole reason I turned twenty one was so I wouldn't have to wear that stupid black X anymore. But, this wasn't where my attention was. For I was in Detroit, my least favorite city in the world, and I was about to see two of my favorite bands. The concern came to me the next day when I was walking around campus and thinking to myself in the typical paranoid me fashion "Everyone is looking at my black X". If you're over twenty one and not too lazy to pull out your wallet, then you get a wrist band you can wrip off at the end of the evening.

The journey to Detroit is always a fun one. You take 94 to John C. Lodge Freeway and you get to see that big giant promotional tire. But, Ben wasn't too impressed with the tire. I guess my brother and I had hyped it too much.

It had been three years since the last time I had seen MTX, and I'm so grateful that I didn't miss the show like I was originally planning on. Outside of the Shelter I overheard some dude saying "Maybe Screeching Weasel will make a special guest appearance like they did at the last show". And I thought to myself, "Screeching Weasel didn't make a special guest appearance the last time MTX played at the Shelter". I later found out that he was talking about something else.

For some reason the Shelter was smaller than I remembered it. Ben said that it was just as small as he had remembered. And then I hypothesized that I was thinking of the movie 8 Mile, which had scenes that took place in the Shelter but were filmed in a place that was much larger than the Shelter.

I started the evening off by introducing myself to the new bass player Bobby J. I figured he'd have an idea of who I was since he had mentioned this here blog on his livejournal on an occasion. Fortunately, he had remembered my dumb little blog. And I had my good friend Josiah take a picture of me with Bobby J., the new bass player for MTX. Josiah had come to the show along with his trusy digital camera, which for some fucked up reason also functions as a little miniature digital cam corder thing. So on the way home I got to watch little snippets of some of Frank's acoustic stuff.

The other band that was supposed to be there, Man Planet, wasn't there. I don't know why. I wanted to hear them, because I heard good things from Dr. Frank's and Bobby J.'s blogs. But, on the plus side, due to the fact that only two bands played, we managed to make it home by twelve thirty and I was able to make it to my morning anthropology class the next day. Which I'm glad I did, and I'll probably discuss that in my next post. This was pretty unprecedented, usually we get home from Detroit shows betwixt two and three in the morning.

Ruth's Hat's set was absolutely ass kicking. Although, apparently my friend Ben managed to fall asleep whilst standing up during this set. This isn't an insult towards Ruth's Hat, he was just really tired. But, I wasn't, and I was uppity and alert for the entirety of their ass kicking set. Mike and P.J. did their typical fighting brothers routine, which was hilarious as usual. The highlight for me was when P.J. said "You got served, Mike". Mike again brought up the issue of the stupidity of their name. I pray to God that they never do change their name.

Of course, MTX was ass kicking. Certain song selections surprised me, like "We're Not No One" and "We'll Get By". Certain song selections weren't much of a surprise, like "...and I Will Be With You". When Dr. Frank was doing some acoustic numbers he had a little vote on which song to play. I had requested "You're Impossible, Baby". I guess I was the only one there who wanted to hear that fabulous, fabulous song. One guy even booed my nominee. I can understand not voting for it because you want to hear "Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend", but to actually boo the song I wanted to hear. The crowd broke into a nice little Hitler chant. The Hitler chant is one of those little quirks that makes the entire Mr. T Experience experience so memorable. Dr. Frank made some remark to the extent of "Hitler always wins", so Bobby J. jumped back on stage to remind Frank that Hitler doesn't always win.

On the car ride home, whilst discussing drinking, my brother was heard to remark "I don't want to ever be like that drunk guy standing behind us singing along to 'Even Hitler Had A Girlfriend". I think that was the same drunk guy that was trying to get Frank to play a Boston song. And the same drunk guy who eventually got kicked out of the Shelter.

I felt like kind of a schmuck when I realized that I didn't know all the words to "Velveeta". The thing about an MTX show, I can keep myself busy through out the entire duration of the set. If you know all the words to all the songs, and that's a lot of words, then you're probably going to have your work cut out for you. I recall an interview Dr. Frank once did, I don't remember where I read or I'd put up a link, where he made a remark about how MTX shows aren't particular rowdy because everyone's too busy singing along. That's how it goes. I could have jumped around and bobbed my head a little more than I did, but than I probably wouldn't have gotten enough oxygen, or some other thing that's vital for maintaining a standing position.

When Dr. Frank busted out the opening lick to "Oh, Jus Have Some Faith In Me", I yelled "woo" and Frank said "thank you". He seems to appreciate the wooing and other expressions of enthusiasm. Rock and roll isn't a one way street. And then at the end of the set Bobby J. attempted to use his bass as a pogo stick, to which my brother remarked "that can't be good". I realize I'm not doing a very good job of remaing true to the chronology of the evening.

The show was incredible, and I have to agree with Ben Weasel when he says that a lot of that has to do with the new guys. They're fantastic musicians. Last time I saw MTX they didn't have anyone to play the keyboard. And I think that this time around, the keyboard definitely added a lot. Oh yeah, let me not forget Jym. That guy is one hell of a drummer.

After the show I managed to catch a quick conversation with Dr. Frank and get my picture taken with him. I'll be sure to post some of the pictures from the show as soon as possible. He had some friendly things to say about my blog and actually said that it was nice to meet me. Imagine that. Most people are usually quite displeased with the experience of being introduced to me. But Dr. Frank, a person I admire as much as anyone, found the experience tolerable.

After the show, Mike from Ruth's Hat tried to convince me that I'm not that fat.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

 
Regarding Heidenreich

A fan in attendance at Monday night's show had these words to say in regards to the Hurricane/Heidenreich match.

-quote-

"Ha ha ha, wow. Heidenreich came out to literally NO REACTION."

and

-quote-

"Hurricane is mega over. Heidenreich is as unover as it gets. Why o why did Hurricane have to job to this guy?"

As much as I'm not a fan of Heidenreich, for the time being, I'll give him credit for being poorly utilized. Not that he should be given more TV time, by any means. What that fella needs is a nice long stay at the OVW, he can come back when he's all trained up, I'd more than willing to give him a second chance. Maybe even a third. But, the issue I would draw deals with the way in which his gimmick played out. After an interaction with the Hurricane in which Heidenreich whispered into Shane's ear the identity of Little Johnny, the Hurricane replied "And people think I'm wierd because I wear a cape". This left more than one wrestling fan, I'm sure, speculating as to the identity of Little Johnny. My theory: sex dwarf. Midget wrestling is a novelty that never wears out it's welcome. And seeing as the WWE has shown that they love to do homosexual gimmicks, this would have been a gimmick to remember. But, this storyline never came to fruition. Heidenreich just sort of dissapeared from our TV and once again the fan's were left with another fizzled storyline reminiscent of Mr. America.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

 
I'm Totally WTFing Right Now

The Hurricane wasn't seen in action last night on Raw. He was, however, featured in a match on Heat JOBBING TO JOHN HEIDENREICH! I tend to miss Heat a lot, due to it's awkward air time, so I had thought they would have sent Heidenreich to OVW by now. So I was pissed to find out that not only is Heidenreich still wrestling in the WWE, but he just scored a victory over my favorite wrestler.

Monday, February 16, 2004

 
Linking And Being Linked

I've added a couple of links. One of them being Relapsed Catholic, which is one of my personal favorites. I've mentioned that particular blog on here before, when I discussed Dean, and how I hate him.
The other link is to Mirror Of Justice, which is a new blog that specializes in Catholic legal theory. Talk about fun! Plenty of talk on Catholicism and anthropology, so I'm all over that.

Ben Weasel has linked to me. And so has this sight. But, you have to scroll down through like two hundred other links in order to get to mine. On the bright side, seeing as that is a list of Catholic sites, I guess that means my blog is a "Catholic" blog. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

Friday, February 13, 2004

 
Exodus

It seems Spanky has become sort of a Moses like figure amongst certain groups of wrestling fans. I, for one, am definitely impressed with the course of action that Spanky chose to take. Instead of being enamored with the WWE, it's size, it's money, it's broad fan base, he decided it just wasn't worth not ever getting to wrestle. Good for him, dammit. He decided it was better to be a respected mid-card wrestler in Japan than to be working shitty gimmicks and only being seen on Velocity. The big question as of late has been who will follow in his footsteps.

Over the past week, three different wrestlers have been let go, Zach Gowen, Kanyon, and the Cat. It was about time they got rid of Zach Gowen, that kid seemed to have managed to successfully piss off every single person, both wrestlers and fans. Kanyon wasn't much of a surprise, I hadn't even seen him wrestle since his most recent return. Which is a shame, because I'm actually a pretty big Kanyon mark. He was one of my favorites back in his WCW days, and I used to completely fawn over his inverted side Russian leg sweep. But, the Cat. Now that caught me off guard. Vince has been the Cat's biggest supporter backstage. And he's huge. Vince loves huge guys. So when the Cat got fired after just a couple of months, it kind of gave me the impression that at this point, they'll pretty much fire anybody.

The talks had been that the WWE was planning on releasing four to six more wrestlers over the next few weeks. Now that number seems to be more around one to two. But, what get's me worried is the criteria with which they plan on deciding who is going to be released. That being, those wrestlers which they simply aren't using. This makes me apprehensive for obvious reasons. The WWE has done shit with Shane Helms' character over the past few months. They're not basing this on who the better wrestlers are, nor who has the best mic skills. Other two names that have been thrown around for possible firings have been Ultimo Dragon and Tommy Dreamer.

However, the Hurricane may have an advantage over some of his poorly utilized colleagues. That being his merchandise. Depsite being poorly used on TV, the Hurricane has some of the hottest selling merch in the WWE. Also, and this seems highly unusual to me, the treatment the Hurricane gets at house shows is very different than that of televised events. As I've mentioned before, at house shows he's constantly scoring victories over the likes of Test, Christian, and Matt Hardy. Meanwhile, on TV, Shane hasn't had a substantial victory in months. The most plausible explanation for this seems to be that the fans love Shane and the higher ups don't know what to do with him. While this does match the criteria for being fired, I imagine we'd be more likely to see Ultimo Dragon, Tommy Dreamer, or maybe even Rosey fired before the Hurricane. Pay attention to the audience on Monday Night Raw, you'll notice as many Hurricane t-shirts as any other wrestler. In fact, I'd say the HUrricane's t-shirts seem to be more popular than HBK's. But what fan, in their right mind, would buy a WWE t-shirt with religious symbols on it? Honestly. The letters "HBK" inside of a Jesus fish? The HBK cross pendant? What the hell is Shawn thinking? Kudos to Eddie Guerrero for being a respectable Christian who doesn't use his beliefs to sell merchandise.


When the Christians were being persecuted by the Roman Empire, they would draw a fish on the doors of their meeting places as a secret signal to fellow Christians. Now a days, this beloved icon is used to hawk merchandise. Even wrestling merchandise, of all things.


Wear this around your neck, so you'll never forget how HBK died for your sins.

Now, back to my original subject. This almost seems to be playing out like a Dilbert strip, people getting fired because their boss is a moron who doesn't even know what they're supposed to be doing. If the WWE can't come up with a gimmick for you, they're going to fire you. Regardless of your skill or how much the fans love you. Spanky was smart to leave. Instead of letting this miserable scenario draw out for several months and eventually ending with him getting fired, he decided to just pack up and go home. I'm hoping to see more wrestlers do likewise.



 
Cocaine Is A Hell Of A Drug

This is one of the saddest and most bizarre wrestling related stories I've heard recently. Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, who's been working in a subway station, caused a bit of a stir when his bag of cocaine was mistaken for anthrax.

 
Hurricane Chronicles Updated

The Hurricane has updated his online commentary. So give it a read.

Appparently I've gotten my facts a bit askewed, as the Hurricane remarks that he had scored a victory over Christian in Saitama, Japan. I had reported that he lost that match.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

 
Advising The Hurricane To Pull A Spanky

Tito over at Lords Of Pain had some harsh, yet maybe kind of wise, words of advice for Shane in this column he penned.

-quote-

"The next bout was Hurricane vs. Kane, which was a total squash match. A message for Shane Helms: GET OUT OF THE WWE!!! Seriously, the fed doesn't want you, despite your talented ability, charisma, and mic skills. "

 
The Hurricane Makes A Cameo On Raw

It was nice to see the Hurricane on Raw for the first time in three weeks. It wasn't nice to see him in a squash match that was nothing more than a set up for another segment in which Kane gets freaked out. Although, I have been completely marking out over the segments they've been doing to build up the Undertaker's eventual return to the squared circle.


Okay, I see how it is. The Hurricane is allowed to take it, but he can't dish it out.

They've already started the push towards the triple threat match, and I'm already starting to get pissed off. First off, what happened didn't even make sense. Shawn kicks Benoit and signs the contract before he can. Is that even a viable means for procuring a proper bussiness agreement? I'm pretty sure it's not. But feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Second off, if Shawn's kicking of Benoit doesn't count as some sort of, at least vague, heel turn I'm going to be pissed. If Shawn can get away with kicking the shit out of Benoit and still remain Raw's top baby face, then they're completely fucking up any of Benoit's face momentum. It seems that ever since Benoit has showed his face on Raw, Vince's main objective has been to see to it that Benoit gets as little pop as possible. How in the hell is this possibly a good idea? I know they wanted a face who wouldn't overshadow HBK. Thus the disregarding of John Cena. But, this looks like it has the potential for being really fucking rediculous.


 
Wonder Of Wonders, Miracle Of Miracles

It turns out I will be in attendance at the Mr. T Experience show next week in Detroit. I had previously stated that I wouldn't be able to make this show due to financial and automotive constraints. My brother, after having read this, connived a plot to score some tickets and take the day off of work so I can check this fucking show out.

I haven't seen MTX live in over three years. The last time was at the same place, during the Lookout Freakout Tour. They played with the Eyeliners and some other Lookout band who's name currently eludes me. I don't know what it is with band's names constantly eluding.

While I'm on the subject, check out this old journal entry from Dr. Frank written during the Lookout Freakout Tour. Dr. Frank recently posted this on his blog to sort of commemorate the kick off of the tour. I guess. I'm not really sure. I suppose I'm pretty clueless about his intentions. But, I found it amusing. So read it, dammit! And be sure to read Dr. Frank's blog on a daily basis, as he's been pretty good about blogging on the road thus far.

I'm hell of curious to hear how some of the new songs sound live. Yet, I'm still curious to hear how the old songs sound live, as it's been a while. Yesterday Rules is easily as good as it possibly could have been. And most likely more so. During the first three weeks of ownership I managed to listen to it all the way to and from class on everday I happened to have a class. So I've invested at least a solid twenty four hours of listening into this thing already. And that's just taking into consideration school related driving. I'm sure I'm well passed the thirty hour mark.

Monday, February 09, 2004

 
Writing When I Should Be Writing

As I'm currently typing this I have about an hour till Raw comes on. I'm supposed to be working on a quick two page essay about my own spirituality and what not. In this particular class the teacher gives us little weekly writing assignments to help personalize certain course material. So seeing as this is a weekly assignment it's not really worth all that much of my final grade. However, I have already missed two of the weekly writing assignments and I've deemed it compulsory that I miss not anymore. The difficulty arises due to the fact that the subject of my own spirituality, or I'd prefer to say religion, is a subject I've delved into on numerous occasions and have produced what would most likely be considered considerably more than two pages on the subject.

So what I'm doing right now is writing here on my blog to sort of get the juices flowing, seeing as I don't want to start the essay off with something along the lines of "I was raised Baptist and then converted to Catholicism". I'm trying to think of a way I can make it into a sort of surprise ending. I'm going to attempt to keep you updated with my attempts to complete this essay and still have enough time to warm up my brother's dinner before Raw comes on.

Update: Alright. Just finished the first paragraph. Check it out. It's kind of a downer.

"I was born into a Baptist home. Sort of Baptist by default. My mom was from a Baptist family as was my dad. As children they went to the same church, Bethel Baptist in Kalamazoo, Michigan. This wasn’t where their relationship had started, it started many years after my mother had departed from Kalamazoo. It was, however, where it came to an end, as my father’s funeral was conducted at Bethel Baptist. This was, actually, the only time I had ever been to that particular church.
"


I suppose this is a good way to start this off. Emphasing the death of loved one is a good way to construe spiritual upheaval.

Update Number Two: I've just finished the second paragraph.

"My mother had been a missionary in Israel for two years and she always seemed to be more into the supernatural and exotic features of the Hebrew and Christian traditions. A first glance at the living room of our house would create the impression that this was the abode of a Jewish family. During the course of my father’s sickness, my mother had developed a fascination with faith healers. So the religious mentality of my family was quite contrary to the institutions we had chosen to affiliate ourselves with. Whilst belonging to a Baptist Church my mother was constantly taking me to other various, more evangelically oriented churches. "

This paragraph serves to establish the fact that I had come from a home that was relatively tolerant of other cultures, even though those other cultures tended to fall into the ever encompassin category of Christian. With a little Jewish acceptance thrown in their for a nice touch. I'm serious about the Jewish thing though. Our house is covered with all sorts of Jewish symbols and what not. Actually, all of the Christian symbols in our house our located in my bedroom. I have this beautiful Crucifix hanging above my dresser which my godfather had given to me on the night of my baptism, my brother told me he thought it was creepy.

Update Three: I just finished the third paragraph:

"My father died when I was sixteen. And this is usually the time when kids start going through their “rebellious” phase, or whatever. I wasn’t very good at it. And in the face of overwhelming doubt I made several efforts to keep the religion of my ancestors feasible. In a last ditch effort I ended up getting involved with a cult. My friends had encouraged me to go to this sort of retreat, it was this non-denominational group. It was a cult. They had us sleeping on eggcrates, thirty people in a room. They covered up the clocks and the windows so we wouldn‘t know what time it was. They didn‘t allow us to leave the building for the entirety of the weekend retreat. The fact that this organization is still accepted within Protestant circles is quite discouraging. I finally said fuck it, I stopped going to church and I stopped associated with this goofy little quasi-cult.
"


I feel that this paragraph helps depict me as a loose cannon, as far as religion is concerned. I just stopped going to church. What will become of me?

Update The Fourth: I just finished the fourth paragraph:

"I spent the following three years religiously unaffiliated. I spent a considerable time studying other religions. Being unaffiliated wasn’t comfortable for me. It didn’t suit me. I knew I had to belong to something. My strongest desire was to be a part of something. To be apart of something that was much bigger than I am.
"


Oh man, what's going to become of me. The reader is totally in suspense.

Now, I find myself in a pickle. How am I going to break it to the reader that in the end I decided to convert to Catholicism. I can't just start off the next sentence with "..and so I decided to convert to Catholicism". Or can I? They totally won't expect it. Or maybe I'm stuck and I'm just trying to rationalize a retarded beginning to the following paragraph.

Update Number Five: Check it out. The fifth paragraph coming at ya!!

"After three years of extensive soul searching, I finally received the inspiration I had been looking for. To this day I’ll insist that this inspiration was divine, but you can take it for whatever it’s worth. I decided to become Catholic. I was inspired by the stories of Saint Catherine of Sienna and Saint Maria Goretti. The combination of supernatural intercession and the emphasis on salvation through suffering turned out to be everything I had already held true in my heart. Now I just needed a religion to indoctrinate these principles I had held true for many years. To give them flesh. And I did so through my personal experimentations with the Catholic faith. "

In this paragraph we find the exciting conclusion the cliff hanger that was paragraph four. Now it has been revealed that I have decided to embrace the Catholic faith. Notice I also cited two particularly feminine saints as examples of those whose piety has inspired me in my walk with Christ. Seeing as this is a class on Muslim women, the emphasis on the role of women in conversion process might score me browny points. Or not. Probably not.

Upade Number Six: I just finished the sixth and final paragraph of my essay. And here it is:

"I underwent the entire Catholic conversion process. And just in case you’re not familiar with it, it is very much a process. And so last year at the Easter Vigil, I was baptized and confirmed into the Roman Catholic Church. As for my particular spirituality at this point in my life, it’s very easily summated. I believe whole heartedly in everything the Catholic Church holds to be true. I don’t really need to elaborate on my personal spirituality and how religion affects my life. I feel the best way to get the idea across is to just say that if the Church teaches it, I adhere to it. Religion is about surrendering yourself to something that’s much larger than you are. With that in mind, I choose not to get caught up in my own spirituality. To quote Thich Nhat Hanh, “you can only be saved as a community”.
"


So how about that. The assignment was to discuss the way in which our spirituality affects our lives, and BAM!!! I hit them with that nutshell of a thinker. I even close out with a Thich Nhat Hanh quote. I'm on fire tonight, baby. I'm kicking some ass.


Ok. I would like to thank all of you participating in this little experiment. I feel that discussing my essay on this blog whilst writing definitley helped. I feel a great debt of grattitude towards you the reader. I'm not sure if it's a good idea posting my essays on my blog before handing them into the teacher. I don't have time to take into consideration whether or not this particular one is actually any good. Usually I wait two or three weeks before posting my essays from school on here. But, I think that this was a great way to jumpstart the whole creative process. It is now 8:52 in the P.M. and I have to get upstairs and get the spagettie warmed up before Raw comes on.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

 
The Hurricane Loses At Final Japanese House Show

Yesterday the Hurricane jobbed to Christian in Saitama, Japan after being hit with the Unprettier. The Hurricane was also featured later in the evening drinking beer with Stone Cold and the Dudleys. This must have been a killer show, seeing as Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho put on a twenty two minute match. And Triple H and HBK put on a twenty six minute match. Both of these matches were said to be top callibur. However, the big story coming out of this event is that it was the highest grossing non-televised event in the history of the WWE. The Japanese tour was all and all a huge success. They grossed over three million dollars in just three shows.

Friday, February 06, 2004

 
The Hurricane In Japan

Yesterday the Hurricane scored a pinfall on Rico in Hiroshimo. And today in Osako, he was defeated by Kane after being hit with a chokeslam.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

 
The Hurricane Has Got RVD Beaten

Here's a little something something cooked up by RVD. It's a little comparison of what comic books RVD picks up on a monthly basis with those of the Hurricane. And the Hurricane has definitely got RVD whooped when it comes to reading comics. But, there was never any real doubt in my mind.

 
Other Little Hurri-tidbits

The Hurricane is currently over in Japan with the other Raw superstars working a few shows. Also, on the 17th of February, the Hurricane will be doing an autograph signing at RVD's comic book store in Lakewood, California. I don't understand why RVD's comic book store is in California, it really should be in his home town of Battle Creek, Michigan, a mere thirty minutes from my home town. Additionally, the Hurricane will be doing some autograph signings at a couple of Wal Marts. First, on the 28th of February in Birmingham, Alabama along with Lita. And the second will be in Elmira, New York on the 6th of March, and for that one he will be joined by Rosey.

 
The Hurricane Not On Raw Again

Once again, the Hurricane was not on Raw Monday night. However, he was involved in a match during the taping of Heat. He and Rosey took on a couple of jobbers. The match ended with Rosey sitting on the top turnbuckle and the Hurricane climbing on top of his shoulders and executing a frog splash. If you haven't seen this particular display of tag team innovation, you're missing out.

 
A Third Brand And A Triple Threat At Wrestlemania: See If You Can Guess Which One Is Retarded

Chris Benoit is like a new messiah for Raw. He comes in the night after the Royal Rumble to many people's surprise, including my own, I thought for sure it'd be at least three more weeks. And the following week Benoit injures Mark Henry. Oh wonderous of joys. Last Monday night in his match against Henry, Benoit put a serious hurting on the world's strongest man. And reports are saying that Mark Henry is going to be out for a couple of weeks. And I say GREAT!! NOBODY LIKES MARK HENRY!! The fans don't like him. The other wrestlers don't like him. The only person who likes him is Vince. And Vince just likes Henry because Vince like big guys. He doesn't genuinely like you Mark. He just likes your body type. Any big guy will do really. Remember Nathan Jones? You didn't actually think you meant something, did you?

Benoit is finally getting the push he's been deserving. He's going to be in the main event at Wrestle Mania. But, the question on every one's mind: how is Vince going to ruin this? Ok, Benoit in the main event at WM XX, what's the catch? How are you going to make this suck? Well, word finally got out. Instead of the typical champion versus the Royal Rumble winner as the main event at Wrestle Mania, which is how the universe works, they are now planning on making it into a triple threat match with Shawn Micheals. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Now I'm getting annoyed. I've spoken admirably in the past about Triple H and HBK's utilization of backstage politics. But, this is pushing it. We saw it right away, when Benoit made his debut on Raw. Instead of talking trash to the man Triple H. He talks trash to both Triple H and HBK. Thus lessoning Benoit's face pop. Plus, it's now a well documented fact that the whole idea of sending Benoit over to Raw was to have a high callibur face who wouldn't outshine Micheals, as many feel Cena would. The only ray of sunshine I see in all of this is that right now it looks like Benoit will probably win the title at WM XX. The catch: Benoit is going to pin HBK. That way, Benoit can take the belt, and Triple H doesn't have to put over Benoit. That way everbody wins. Then why am I still pissed off?

In what I would consider more positive news, there has been talks of adding a third brand to the WWE. It would feature some of the lower card wrestlers. It would air at a later time than Raw or Smackdown. It would feature more hardcore wrestling. There is even talk that they may call it ECW, seeing as WWE owns all the rights to ECW. I think this would be absolutely kick ass. If they did it right. Here's what I'm thinking. All those fantastic wrestlers who are getting ripped off when it comes to TV time, The Hurricane, Ultimo Dragon, Tommy Dreamer, Shannon Moore. No pyrotechnics, no Titan-tron, no elaborate productions. They could do the shows in smaller arenas. I would absolutely love to see this happen. Though right now, this is merely an idea that is being thrown around at the office. But, I think it would be the best possible thing the WWE could do right now. And compared to what they do on Raw and Smackdown, it would probably cost them next to nothing.

 
What Is It With Me And Retarded Arguments?

I have this little tendency. Whenever I'm instructed to take part in some sort of hypothetical debate, I always end up using the most retarded rationale I can conjure. Today in one of my many anthropology classes we were instructed to split up into pairs and have these hypothetical arguments about the status of women in the Middle East. One side was supposed to argue the "ethnocentric, American idiot" view point that Middle Eastern women are oppressed. The other side was supposed to argue the "enlightened" view of "cultural relativism", the situation is more complex than that. I was stuck with the view point that it's supposed to be more "complex", or whatever. I didn't even fully comprehend how I was supposed to enter into a debate as such. The person I was to debate with was given a much more tangible view point, i.e. "Muslim women are oppressed, dammit!". Whereas I was given the more abstract viewpoint, i.e. "It's more complicated than that, dammit!".

It seems kind of an unfair situation. How am I supposed to argue something that isn't really a viewpoint? It's pretty much the typical Boasian shrug of the shoulders. It's another culture, you don't understand, so don't' try and judge it. It's an argument that I don't really agree with on a political and ethical level. But, I choose to humor this perspective in academically oriented endeavors. It's more pragmatic. The person I'm up against is debating a solid view point, something I can wrap my fingers around. So in a fashion that I would consider typical of myself, I decided to use the most retarded line of reasoning I could come up with: Muslim women aren't oppressed, it's the Muslim men that are oppressed.

My argument goes a little something like this. If a Muslim man marries four women, he has to take care of each of them equally, even if he likes one of them more. That's unfair. Muslim women can start their own businesses and not have to share any of the prophets with their husband, whereas the man is still stuck providing for four women. That's unfair. The Muslim man has to take care of all four of his wives, whilst the women get to divvy up the share of domestic tasks. That's unfair. And my personal favorite: if I was a woman I wouldn't mind having a clitorechtomy.

I think I was probably trying to turn it around a little bit. I was dealt the viewpoint that most modern anthropologists have deemed as sensible. In fictitious arguments, I hate playing the role of the sensible guy. But, the person I was debating against had a much better understanding of the Koran and Islamic sharia than I did. She won the debate. Even though, I'm assuming, she was also defending a viewpoint that she didn't agree with.

 
The Boring Ass Counter Part To The Passion

I saw John Hagee on TV yesterday promoting some upcoming movie entitled Joshua. It's a movie that tells a hypothetical tale of what would happen if Jesus lived during this modern era in some small American town. In this movie Jesus, going by the name of Joshua, helps the locals rebuild a demolished Baptist church. Yeah, I probably won't see this movie.

I want to know the thought process here. Mel Gibson is putting out this hugely controversial film about the final hours of the life of Christ. It's bloody as hell and apparently quite accurate. So these people decided to put out a movie about Jesus in a small American town serving as more of a Jimmy Carter type figure. Sounds boring as hell. For one thing, Jesus has to have a bierd. I will not accept any portrayal of Jesus without the beird. Unless it's the infant Jesus, obviously.

Monday, February 02, 2004

 
Another Reason To Be Pissed Off At This Michigan Weather

I can't believe this guy actually died. I saw him on campus every single day rummaging through garbage cans. It's a sad day for fans of eccentric social outsiders. I never stopped to have a formal conversation with him, but we exchanged hellos on a couple of occassions.

I recall this one time heading to class I saw Ernie standing there wearing this t-shirt with this big essay written on it about how the cotton industry was evil, or something or another. He was just standing there in the middle of the side walk so that people passing by would see his shirt and read it and become aware. When I came out of my class two hours later, there was Ernie, in that exact same spot, with the exact same t-shirt, bringing his message to the MSU students.

I always thought that he had to make "some" money rummaging for cans, seeing as there were a lot of MSU kids, drinking a lot of pop and beer, who didn't want to take the time to recycle their cans. And I was right, because, as I found out, he actually had a place of his own. But I assumed he probably didn't make a lot of money. And I was right, because, as it turns out, he died of hypothermia. No surprise really. Seeing as last week the temperature got down into the negative ten area a few times. It's too bad he died right before the big heat wave, it actually got up into the lower thirties today.

It feels wierd because Ernie is not the kind of guy I would think of as "being born" and "dying". He's one of the those anomalies that I tend to think of as being like a bicycle leaning against a tree, where over the years the tree grows and becomes entangled with the bicycle. It happens in a manner that is so gradual that in a way, it sort of has always been. Ernie didn't die, he just became disentangled from the tree. And if ever any of us were brave enough to face the elements and climb out of our nests and peak through the leaves, we would notice the bicycle that is Ernie carving his initials in that great tree and then heading off to the grocery store to collect the deposit on his pop cans.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

 
The Hurricane Scores Another Victory In Ohio

Earlier today in Youngstown, Ohio the Hurricane scored another victory over Matt Hardy after hitting him with the Eye Of The Hurricane.

 
The Hurricane Loses On Heat, Again

Just like two weeks ago, the Hurricane and Rosey jobbed to Cade and Jindrak on Sunday Night Heat. The match ended with Rosey going to slam Cade and Jindrak taking out his knee from behind. Some good moves on Rosey's part, I thought. But, I really don't know why they fealt the need to do this match again. I suppose they figured that since it was Super Bowl Sunday that not alot of their demographic would be tuned in for that one. If that's the case, then they had Matt Hardy and Booker T put on a surprisingly good match.

 
The Hurricane Scores Victory In Ohio

The Hurricane scored a victory over John Heidenreich last night at a house show in Dayton, Ohio. The crowd was said to be very much not interested in this match, as Heidenreich is still pretty green. I didn't even know that Heidenreich was still wrestling for Raw. I thought for sure he'd been sent to OVW by now.