Monday, July 28, 2003

No Matter What You Say, You're Not Psychology

Psychology 295 isn't fooling me none. It keeps referring to itself as a psychology class, like it thinks I'm some sort of idiot. But, it's a fricking math class, for the love of God. They call it "Data Analysis in Psychological Research", but they should just call it "Data Anaylisys in Anything Really". I appreciate that they're trying to teach me to analyze data, if ever I come across some unanalyzed data I'm sure some of this information will come in handy. But, why do they have to throw in the words "Psychological Research"?

I was told that I didn't have to take any more math classes. But, here I am taking this stupid "psychology" class, this stupid REQUIRED "psychology" class.

I'm such a total moron when it comes to math. I don't understand why equations have to be so big. So, far on my homework, whenever I look up the answers to the odd questions ( math books always have the answers to the odd questions in the back, because math books are odd, as my favorite match teacher Steve Frank once said) I always get them totally fricking wrong. And it's not because I didn't do the problem right. I always do the problem right, because I follow directions. I rock at following directions. I rule at taking orders. But, some where along the way I put a '49' where I was supposed to put a '104.13' and my life is completely ruined.

One of the reasons I decided to major in psychology was to avoid math. Yes, I am a fricking retard, a fricking retard who is jeapordizing his 3.2 GPA. That 3.2 GPA is all I have! Apparently though, if I have a 3.5 I'll be on the Dean's List, and then I'll be sitting pretty until I end up having to take, oh I don't know.. " Data Analysis in Macro-Anthropological Research" (I just made that up off the top of my head, although it probably is a class, a class I'll unwittingly sign up for, putting my GPA at further risk).

I have, cunningly, signed up for some easier classes next semester that promise to be an intellectual Godsend in addition to a cake walk. Mind you, it will be a cake walk into which I will invest considerable hours of studying, but a cake walk none the less. I'm taking a class on bio-cultural evolution, a class on Judaism, and an integrative studies class on the individual and society which will be taught by my favorite teacher thus far, Dr. Puhek. I've yet to select that all elusive fourth class. But, it will most likely be a real psychology class. Not any of that stupid match class pretending to be a psychology class bull shit.

Vengeance:Kurt Walks Away With The Gold And Vince Bleeds

So not expecting that ending was I, that when Kurt went to pin Brock I looked down at my beer, when I looked back up Kurt was the champion. Why they bothered not to replay said victory pin was beyond me, but I was none the less pleased with this ending. Though as of yet, I've not seen Kurt pin Brock. I was just so totally not expecting that ending. A Kurt Angle victory was not inexpectant by any means, but the manner in which said victory was played out totally wowed me. I thought for sure that if Kurt were to win the title he would do so via pinning the Big Show. That way Kurt would have the title, but not the right to claim a pin fall over Brock, thus building momentum towards a Summer Slam altercation.

I was totally right in predicting the best match of the night. Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit totally stole the show. Eddie lied, cheated, and stole his way to a well deserved U.S. Championship. What a great match. And who didn't see Rhyno goring Benoit from ten miles away?

I was hoping Cena would kick the Undertaker's ass. But, the real contest of the evening was afterwards when some kid challenged Cena in the parking lot to a freestyling contest. Cena womped him. As it turns out, to my surprise, Cena's little raps aren't scripted. He's actually got skills when it comes to handling a mic. And I thought he was pretty amusing on Confidential eatin sushi with Matt Hardy.

The bar room brawl was everything I hoped it would be. But, it was nice to see some of those classic characters you never see any more like Doink the Clown, Brother Love, the Brooklyn Brawler, and the Easter Bunny. This came off as the novelty I expected it to. But, it was still pretty entertaining. Somewhat. It was totally awesome when Hardy kept trying to jump through the table (I can't remember who he was jumping onto, I think it may have been the Bashem brothers, but I hardly see it as an issue of importance and am frankly surprised that I'm still typing about. Good lord why am I still typing? This is nothing more than a parenthetic thought that really has nothing to do with anything. Especially considering that I'm talking about the Bashem brothers. They suck.). Ummmmm, Bradshaw won this match, even though he's still injured and not suitable for full on competition, but I wasn't paying attention to the extent of his participation, I was watching Doink. Come on. How often do we get to see Doink? Only when the WWE is doing something blatantly gimmicky.

Wooo hooo. Jamie Noble beat Billy Gunn. Now, he gets to sleep with Torrie on Smackdown! But, if I was Jamie Noble I would insist that my sexing of Torrie Wilson not be televised. If you're a professional wrestler and you're scheduled to have sex with someone on TV, the most likely senario is that there's going to be some plot twist which entails you ending up not having sex. So Jamie Noble really should have insisted on having sex with her last night, or maybe tonight. But, not on TV. Seriously, think this through. You're supposed to have sex, on a TV show, broadcasted on UPN. That's plot development you can see from a mile away.

The match betwixt Zach Gowen and Vince McMahon was very good. Vince blead considerably. I'm considering it right now. I'm considering the extent to which Vince blead, and I'm considering respecting him for it. Yep, I respect him. This match, good. And I was totally glad that Zach lost, but couldn't they have had him lose under different circumstances. Zach misses a moonsault, Vince pins him, end of match. That's kind of wussy, don't you think? But, the true star of this match was Vince's blood. That was probably the most wicked gash I've seen since ( sorry, but this isn't going to be any kind of lewd jest) the Undertaker took on Brock Lesnar in a Hell in the Cell. Blood just pumpin out. That's beauty.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

The Coach

I've decided that in addition to updating my Blog with every inane detail about Hurricane related incidence, I will also keep track of blunders perpetrated by the Coach. Seeing how they are currently planning on keeping Jim Ross out of the commentators' booth until after Summer Slam I imagine that I will come across a wealth of goof ups and let downs on the part of the Coach. I will entitle this endeavor "Wrestling Fans Held Hostage", because we are being held hostage by poor commentating skills. I will title posts accordingly. For instance, if I were to make an update pertaining to the Coach and his fuck ups today I would title it as such "Wrestling Fans Held Hostage: Day Thirteen". As it has been thirteen days, thus far, that we have had to deal with the absence of Jim Ross and the presence of the Coach.

What really gets me is that they're doing all of this in order to sell Kane. Seems a bit much. Why couldn't he have set Linda McMahon or Lillian Garcia on fire? Their rolls on the weekly program are such that we wouldn't miss them if we didn't see them for five weeks. Plus, it would make Kane look way more evil if he set a girl on fire.

Tonight: Vengeance

Tonight will be the first ever Smackdown! exclusive pay per view. I remain ever the skeptic about the proposition of brand exclusive ppv's, but none the less I remain anticipative of tonight's wrestling festivities.

I'm not excited about the bar room brawl, or whatever the hell it's called. It looks to be more of a novel, light hearted altercation. Plus, Bradshaw's participation will be minimal do to concurrently sustained injuries. Also the involvement of Doink the Clown, whilst amusing, renders any event novel from the get go. Although, I look forward to seeing Doink in action tonight.

The match betwixt Billy Gunn and Jamie Noble promises to be stupid. A match in which the fidelity of one of the participants' girlfriends is the prize at stake, sort of indignifies the whole match. I'm not looking forward to this.

Stephanie vs. Sable, this is going to be hot, so much hotness.

Eddie Guererro vs. Chris Benoit, I predict, is going to be the match of the night. Eddie's popularity with the fans is out of the control at this point, seriously. The writer's can't make this guy a heel. The fans, myself included, love to see this guy lie, cheat, and steal.

Cena vs. The Undertaker, I think this match will be good. This match will feature to well endowed wrestlers with very lack luster characters. The wrestling will be good, everything else will probably make me cringe.

I like Zach Gowen, but I think it's more fun to watch him get beat up then to watch him win. I'm hoping Vince wins this match. The fans love an underdog, but we also don't like to have our intelligence insulted. Give Zach a some wins over lower card no names, give him some dirty victories over some bigger superstars, but in situations as these where the odds are stacked up against him have him get his ass kicked. Zach falls so well. And sure, Zach overcame cancer. But, as the whole world already knows, Vince McMahon is more powerful than cancer.

I don't know about the main event. It's definitely going to be a good match. I can't predict a winner, I just think Kurt and Brock have been a bit too lovey dovey as of late.

And if you haven't figured out that Billy Kidman is going to turn on Rey Mysterio, well then you just plain suck at life. This is one of the most obvious set ups in a while. Even more obvious than when Ric Flair turned out Shawn Micheals a few months back.

Mick Foley

Last night in an interview with the Coach on Confidential, Mick Foley remarked that the Hurricane's entrance video was a rip off of Dude Love's entrance video. The two videos were compared. I noticed similarities. I believe Foley was pointing this out just to be humerous, as it is a well known that Mick Foley is a big Hurricane fan.

The Hurricane, often times it appears, is truely the wrestler's wrestler. You'll notice on television, if you watch television (which I do), that anytime a wresler is wearing another wrestler's t-shirt the Hurricane seems to be the most prevelant of choices. Maybe this is a result of the fact that his t-shirt designs are by far the best. Though I must say, I like the new Evolution t-shirt and plan to purchase one in the future.

One last note, when the Coach was interviewing Foley, Foley remarked quote: "I know Katie Couroc, I've been interviewd by Katie Couroc, and you sir are no Katie Couroc." How true.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Raw July 21st: The Coach Sucks

Now I've said before, the Coach isn't a very good commentators. The currently sad state of commentating in the WWE is some what of an enigma. You've got Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, who are the best in the game right now, and every one else just kind of sucks. The Smackdown! commentators are absolutely horrible. Well, Micheal Cole isn't intolerable, but Tazz makes for an uncolourful colour commentator. But, the Coach's performance last night was so horrendous that I actually started to feel really bad. First off, I'm pretty aware of the fact that Mr. MacMachon likes to scream into the Coach's headphones whenever he makes a critical on-air error. The King was heavily criticizing the Coach throughout the broadcast, and at many points left me wondering how much of it was in character and how much of it was genuine. There was the one part in which the Coach remarked that Jim Ross was "at home, recovering in the hospital", to which the King snapped at him. That I'm fairly certain was genuine. There were a ton of other blunders he made, but I don't think I'll assess the entirey of his pantheon of on-air boobers. Because, like I said, I feel genuinely bad for him. Even though he sucks.

Now on to the most important part. Last night the Hurricane was not participitive in a wrestling capacity. This was dissapointing. The Hurricane's involvement consisted of a backstage propositioning of Rosey. The Hurricane remarked that he wanted to make Rosey a "super hero in training". Then Goldust came along and pointed out that "super hero in training" would constitute an
acronym of S.H.I.T. This is appropriate on so many levels. Why the WWE saw fit to leave the Hurricane athletically inactive last night is puzzling. But, then again, the match between Shawn Micheals and Chris Jericho did consume an entire half hour of the broad cast.

But, that match was killer. And kudos to Randy Orton. The future of the company that man is, along with the Hurricane, without a doubt. I'm not really happy with their decision to have HBK loose the match via submission. But, given that the unstable condition of Shawn's back is a consistenly over alluded aspect of his return to regular competition, having him job in such a manner shouldn't do to much for his image, at least not in mine eyes. And besides, it helps to put over Orton. I can never get enough Orton.

I want that new Evolution t-shirt.

Other thoughts:

Holy shit did Gail Kim botch last night!

I thought Goldberg came off as awkward last night. And apparently during the break Goldberg stumbled whlist attempting the physically trying task of climbing to the second turnbuckle to pose for the fans. He got tied up in the ropes and it took him a good four seconds to get untangled and regain his footing. There were a few fans up front taunting him as a result, and so Goldberg flipped them off. Way to be a face Goldberg. I swear, why does this guy feel the need to retaliate in likeness to wrestling fans who can execute basic logic and thus feel the imperitive to express discontent with this oaf? What an ass.

If I was in that Las Angelas crowd last night I would have been uber pissed about not getting to see the Hurricane wrestle. If they pull this shit at the Van Andel, well, I imagine I'll be uber pissed.

Monday, July 21, 2003

Hurri-night Heat

The Hurricane was in top form in his match on Heat last night. He totally womped the dude as he was taking on some lower card no name. But, The Hurricane still managed to put on a good match. It's a sad state of affairs when I have to tune into MTV on a Sunday night at seven o'clock in order to see my favorite wrestler get his first televised win in over a month. The Hurricane won the match with that little kicky move he does, it's name eludes me for now.

So what role will the Hurricane play in tonight's Raw? Last week we saw him coming to the aid of Rosey, of all people. Does the Hurricane seek to forge a union with Rosey? Or is his intent to further a dispute with Rodney Mack? I just hope it doesn't suck, and I hope it's longer than two seconds.

Tonight's Raw promises to be a good one, coming from Hollywood California. We'll see Shawn Micheals against Chris Jericho, in what promises to be an outstanding rematch of their outstanding match at Wrestlemania.

My worst fears have been confirmed. It appears as though the WWE has decided to keep Jim Ross out till Summer Slam in order to sell his injuries. That means we're going to have to listen to the Coach. HOLY SHIT!! I just realized something even worse. That means Jim Ross won't be at Raw when they roll into Grand Rapids!! That so totally sucks.

Recent Hurri-purchases

Last week on I ordered the plush Hurricane doll and the Hurricane key chain, or I guess that might be called the Hurri-chain. Since becoming a die hard Hurricane fan I've decided to invest time, money, and effort into constructing a proper Hurricane merchandise pantheon. Actually, so far my collection of Hurri-dice (that's Hurricane merchandise) so far consists of merely my Hurricane t-shirt and one of those Flex-em dolls with the ungodly muscles and exaggerated bodily disproportions. I enjoy my Hurri-doll, however with the particular design of this toy he's missing the essential quality of self sefficiency when it comes to standing. Seeing how the idea of this toy is the supposedly amusing function of manually determined and realized poses, this is a rather significant hinderance to full enjoyment of said product. A complaint that may be, I truely complain not. When you consider the dimensions of the dolls in the Flex-em series, they have a very unusually and inconveniantly placed center of gravity. So for now, I must settle for propping the Hurricane up against the DVD player, or bending his legs into a sitting position.

I'll be sure to keep you updated on any more potential Hurri-purchases. I definitely have my sights set on the Hurri-towel for future prospects.

Friday, July 18, 2003

To me, RAW stands for Really AWesome

Tomorrow morning I'm heading out to buy tickets for Monday Night Raw at the Van Andel Arena. This will be my third Raw, and the last two have been completely kick ass. Last year we were in attendence for what was, with out a doubt, the best Raw of 2002. D-X reformed and then broke up, Rob Van Dam against Jeff Hardy in a ladder match, Eddie Guerrero vs. the Rock, the debut of three minute warning etc. etc. etc.

Of course this was the infamous Raw in which HBK and Triple H reformed D-X and Triple H subsequently disbanded D-X. That was for me, one of THE most intense moments for me as a wrestling fan. We were just casually sitting there, waiting for the next match, and then the D-X music hits. Seriously, I'm getting chills right now just writing about it. When the music began, I was completely dumbfounded, I didn't know what was going on, I was in a state of a two and a half second shock. My friends and I were going crazy with the "Suck-Its", and it was just some of the most intense incredibleness to exacerbate the wrestling passion that consumes my soul. And then Triple H delivered a devastating Pedigree to Shawn Micheals. As the old saying goes, you could here a pin drop.

RVD and Jeff Hardy put on an incredible ladder match that night. It was the only ladder match I've ever seen live. I think it was one of the best ever. Though as far as ladder matches go. There have been a lot of bests, but only one the best. This was also the night that they did away with the European Championship.

Oh, yeah. This was also the first night in which Eric Bishoff served as active General Manager. Damn, what an awesome show that was! It was the debut of Eric Bishoff's amusing three minute gimmick. The three minute gimmick was good, the tag team was a different story.

We also got to see Eddie Guerrero completely freak out and start screaming about how he abuses his kids and what not. It was absolutely histarical. I was never a big Eddie fan up until then. But, after that segment, Eddie had dug an eternal niche in this wrestling fan's heart.

But, this coming Raw definitely promises to be rivalrous to said show in certain compacities. First off, it will be the first time I ever get to see The Hurricane live and in person!!! If he jobs, I will kick some ass. Plus, Kane unmasked. Regardless of whatever factors you choose to regard, this gimmick has been interesting. I'm totally pulling for the whole idiot man child. He was totally Full Metal Jacket last Monday. Also, I've never seen Randy Orton, and additionally, I've never seen the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Plus, I never get tired of seeing Trish Stratus. Oh, yeah!! And this will be my first wrestling event at the age of 21. Fock fear, drink beer.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Raw July 14th 2003: Kane Sets Jim Ross On Fire

I want to start of by commending the fine people at blog for making the pop up adds at the top of their web pages relevant to the subject matter of the blog. I noticed last week that the ads at the top of my page always pertained to wrestling. And today when I checked up on my blog after doing my post about my Associate's Degree, I noticed that one of the ads was for a Hurricane action figure. I'm giving a big thumbs up to blog for that one. Good job. It gives my blog the feel of a legitimate Hurricane web page.

The Hurricane's involvement in last night's Raw was quite minimal. It was nice, though, because for the first time in four weeks, he wasn't jobbing to anyone. He simply made a surprise appearance, and delivered a beautiful flying drop kick to Rodney Mack. So will the Hurricane now be working an angle with the Mack? Anything's better than having him waste his time in the tag team division. But, one has to wonder. Are they going to have the Hurricane join forces with Rosey? Hopefully not, because, as I've said before, Rosey sucks. But then again, if the Hurricane joined forces with Rosey it would mean that we wouldn't have to worry about the Hurricane wreslting Rosey anytime soon. I don't need to see my favorite wrestler risking his career to put over one of the biggest baffoons in the industry.

Plus, the reason the Hurricane's involvement last night was minimal is because the Hurricane worked a match on Heat last night. So, I'll be sure to tune into Heat this Sunday to watch the Hurricane win his first televised match in over a month.

I can't believe they had Lance Storm job to Maven. Maven doesn't deserve the push they're giving him. Maven bores me. And Lance Storm has been hell of entertaining as of late, much more so than Maven.

Oh, yeah, and Kane set Jim Ross on fire. I could go either way on this one. Mainly because in order to sell the angle they had the Coach commentating with the King. When I tune in to watch Raw every Monday night, I do so expecting to hear the two best commentators in the business right now (regardless of what you or I may say about Heanen, he had a stroke, and couldn't hold his own against the King nowadays, his prime is obviously a different story). Remember when they had Jim Ross get fired, so we had to listen to the Coach for five weeks. That was awful. I hope they don't try and sell J.R.'s injuries too much and have him absent on next week's Raw. He obviously wasn't burned too bad. Come on. And so Kane's scars are psychological, not physical. That's gay. What about the fact that he can't grow hair on half of his head. Come on here. There are obvious inconsistencies in the plot. But obviously pro wrestling isn't above that.

And on a final note, on Confidential they did a bit about Jimmy Hart and the wrestling theme songs he's written and recorded. In this segment they featured 3 Count, which was the boy band gimmick the Hurricane was involved with back in his WCW days. The Hurricane didn't appear to be much of a singer. Needless to say, the WWE has been much successful in their utilization of the skills of Shane Helms than WCW.

I'm Slightly More Qualified

I just got my Associate's Degree in the mail. I'm pretty stoked about this one. It's the first of what I'm hoping will be numerous degrees. Though I'm not quite sure if this degree is actually worth anything. Can this thing actually help me get a job in any way? I'm wondering, because I know what it took to get the degree. And I wonder if the average employer has an awareness of what it entails as well. If I was hiring, I wouldn't be horribly impressed, as I'm well aware of what went into it.

I got my Associate's Degree at Kellogg Community College. Which is, of all things, a community college. I used to wonder why people on television always made fun of community colleges, until I started at MSU. It's so totally incredibly kickass compared to old KCC. I'm blown away at how much more ass is being kicked at MSU. Of course, this should be expected. After all, it's like three times more expensive.

But, now that I'm at MSU I feel like I actually just started college. It seems as though that other stuff I was doing for the past three years wasn't really college. With my experience of MSU thus far and how much work I actually have to do to be a Spartan, if I were to go back to KCC I would have the hugest 4.0 GPA ever. Seriously. I now have a better understanding of just how much studying I'm capable of doing. It's quite a bit. And I actually enjoy it.

I had my moments at the community colllege, and I definitely had some good teachers who taught me quite a bit. But, now that I'm somewhere else, I realize how crappy it used to be. I've been upgraded to first class and now I can barely stand to peak through the curtain. Though, if I had to do it all over again, I would still go to the community college. Because no matter how excellent the MSU experience might be, there's no way in hell I would pay them six hundred dollars to take Intro to Sociology. Sure, Sociology 215 at MSU was absolutely awesome. But when you're trying to get your basics out of the way, it's best to do it as cheap as possible. Besides, my Intro to Sociology instructor was Mr. McCallister, and that guy was awesome, still one of my all time favorite teachers.

I think some of this stems from my philosophies pertaining to experience. I had alot of people telling me I should go to college because "it's such a great experience". I'm not the kind of guy who goes looking for experiences, let alone paying large sums of money in expectation of an experience. Experiences should be something that just happens. If I go to the store to get some beer, then I'm going to the store for beer. That's it. That's the only reason I'm going. If I happen to have a fabulous experience in the process, great. But it's not why I went there, it's not why I forked over all that money. I'm going to college in order to get credits, in order to make myself more qualified. If I happen to have a good time whilst at it, which I am, well then that's fine.

I'm also wondering about the credibility of this degree due to the fact that I obtained it without a proper high school education. How this happened I'm sure I'll never know. But, I managed to attend KCC for three years with out anyone ever noticing that I didn't have any proper evidence of high school graduation. And I, in fact, had never actually graduated from high school. I wound up getting a GED whilst in my last sememster at the community college. They told me that I had somehow slipped through the cracks. Well, obviously. I didn't even know that I hadn't completed high school.

Three years may seem like a long time for an Associate's Degree, but I had to take like five math classes, and I waited a year before I started the first one.

Monday, July 14, 2003

I just got the news that Bill Goldberg now has full creative control of over his character, Goldberg. With this in mind, I think I can now make some pretty safe predictions about what's going to happen with Goldberg's character.


Goldberg will become invincible. Goldberg will win every match he's in, even the special stipulation "Goldberg Can't Win" match, in which he will be the obvious underdog, yet still manage to prevail. Goldberg will win every title. No superstar will get the best of Goldberg, not even for a minute, not even in the case of a verbal exchange. No one will insult Goldberg, even if it would contribute to the storyline of the match, thus making it an even more triumphant ass kicking for Goldberg in the end. After all, we don't want anyone undermining Goldberg in front of the fans. Goldberg will win the next five Royal Rumbles, even though he'll only participate in three of them. The main event at Wrestlemania XX will be Goldberg vs. Goldberg, which will present a few problems because Goldberg will refuse to job to himself. The future of wrestling is looking fantastic.

Apparently, the WWE had Christian loose the title because they fealt that he couldn't give it the prestige it deserves. Ok.

If the Hurricane jobs tonight I'm going to have to do something extreme and nasty.

I Screwed Up With My Headline

I put my headline in the middle of my blog. What the hell is wrong with me?

Ludvig Borga was shot by his wife Thursday, no word whether or not he died. I'm assuming he didn't.

Yesterday whilst watching Heat, I fell asleep during the Triple H vs Maven match. On a related note, the WWE has decided to push Maven, I guess because of how entertaining he is.

I noticed on Heat that Al Snow was wearing a The Hurricane T-Shirt I've never seen before. I must find this shirt and purchase it.

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Grammatical Inhibitions

Rules regarding syntax play a pivotal role in decimating what could be my potential crowning achievements in the area of journalistic persuit. I can't properly convey my initial expression because to do so would be grammatically incorrect. Though often this stopping me doesn't seem to be the case. Almost every essay I've ever written for a class has come back with corrections made to my grammar.

The problem lies in the fact that I write how I think. That may sound odd, but consider this. I'm constantly repeating my thoughts to myself until I find what I feel is satisfactory wording. I do this even when I have no intention of annunciating my thoughts. It's just something I do. Maybe I have some sort of "a thought worth thinking, is worth thinking well" philosophy that I'm unaware of. But, my point is that I write how I think. And tell me if I'm wrong, but I assumed that to be the idea behind writing. At least in my genre of writing, I'm not writing court documents or anything of the sorts.

But, typically when I read another writer's work, I do so with the intention of understanding how that guy, and what that guy, is thinking. Notice, I said "guy", with the exception of Karen Armstrong I don't really read anything by female writers. Maybe, I just don't care what they think. But, the point is that writing, in my eyes, was the only artistic platform that was simply the unaltered, unpampered thoughts of the creator. But, I've found that not to be so.

Human beings don't think grammatically correct. When I write and I succumb to the rules of syntax, I've already compromised my artistic integrity.

To illustrate, here's a hypothetical conversation:

Person One: "Hey, remember when we went to the mall."

Person Two: "Good times."

Anyone listening to this conversation would detect no sort of deviancy. But, let's say I wrote about it for a school paper in a creative writing class:

One time my friends and I went to the
mall. Good times.

This would draw serious criticism from the instructor. Yet, this would be my exact thought. I thought the goal here was expression.

I already accepted the fact that songwriting does serious damage to the integrity of the expression of ideas. I assumed the simplicity of just plain old "writing" helped to sway such compromises. Well, after further thought, I was totally wrong. I think I'm feeling kind of dissillusioned.

About a year ago I came to this same realization with songwriting. Songwriting isn't just a person sitting down with an instrument and then proceeding to denote their emotions. Rather, emotions are just one of the tools used in the process of songwriting. No better and no worse then your instrument, note pad, cassette recorder, genre of music, or rhyme scheme. It's just one aspect of the creative process. I came to that realization, and since then I've approached songwriting more as though it were a science as supposed to an art. I'm realizing now that rules of grammar are just as much a restriction as musical genres and rhyme schemes. I've realized that now I must reevaluate the way I write essays and articles. Once again I must accept the fact that I'll never be able to make people fully understand what's going on within my own ego barrier. All men are fundamentally alone.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Raw July 7th 2003 What The Hell? Seriously, What The Hell?

Last night marked one of the biggest insults to this particular wrestling fan's intelligence. I also find this insult ironic in light of the post I made on Sunday. Last night they actually had the Hurricane job to Rosey. Seriously, I'm willing to forgive them for having Christian drop the title. But, that was just flat out stupid.

Like I've already stated in my previous post, Rosey is a slow, untalented, uninteresting bafoon who couldn't sell a move to save his life. And having the Hurricane job to him is like the WWE just hawked a big one right in my eye. Right, here in my eye. Look. A big one. You see, the WWE spit in my frigging eye!

It's becoming apparent that maybe the writers are clueless after all. They obviously have no idea what to do with their best up and coming talent right now. And the match made this apparent. The Hurricane was hitting some solid moves, he was on fire dammit. Like he always is. Rosey just walks around swinging his arms, and when he isn't doing one of those two things he's trying to execute a real move thus endangering his opponent.

The Hurricane is the most entertaing thing on Raw. But, not necessarily as of the moment. First off, he's jobbed the past three weeks in a row. He hasn't done any backstage segments in the past three weeks. Seriously, what the hell is going on here? They have him teaming up with Kevin Nash and Shawn Micheals to take on Evolution and then they just have his character flounder. This is the opitime of what's been wrong with the WWE lately. They start pushing a certain wrestler or storyline, and then they have it just sort of fizzle. And it's been devestating, thus far, to some of the more critical up and comers.

But, this was a flat out insult. You have the Hurricane who's the most amusing entertainer on the program right now, not to mention one of the best technical wrestlers. And then you have Rosey, who walks around and hits people. The guy is an idiot. And he's clumsy as hell, that's what gets me. Whenever Rosey gets into a ring I fear for the safety of his oponent. I literally sit there biting my lip praying that the poor, unfortunate, and actually talented superstar will make it out of that ring without any serious bodily harm.

And I understand that they're trying to put over some story line between Rosey and Teddy Long. But, why do they have to have the Hurricane come play a secondary role in that story line and ultimately job? There's plenty of others in the locker room with out the potential and fan support of the Hurricane. What about Maven? What about Spike Dudley? Neither of those guys can count a win over the Rock as one of their achievements. The bottom line is that the Hurricane is the future of this business, and Rosey isn't. Let's start thinking about the future here, fellas.

Here are some other thoughts about last night.

They had Kevin Nash job to Test. I will only tolerate this if it leads to a story line in which Kevin Nash gets the pay off in the end. I understand that Nash has been frustrated since his feud with Triple H was wrapped up, and understandably so. So they'd better give this guy a decent feud. And if last night was all there will be of a Nash/Test confrontation, then I'm afraid that Nash's job last night was another insult.

I didn't like the way the Highlight Reel played out last night either. It seemed to follow another ugly trend I've seen lately. Jericho was getting serious pops last night. They should have went with that. They need to let the crowd play a role in the direction of the story. Otherwise it seems really forced. Jericho had to work really hard to get that crowd booing him, and when they did, the boos he got were nothing compared to the pops he got. You could tell that the crowd wasn't genuinely disliking Jericho. They should just accept the fact that in Canada, Shawn Micheals is a heel and Jericho is a face. Don't try to change that. The Canadian fans don't hate Shawn Micheals because of a story line. They actually hate him in real life. Those boos he got last night were some of the most genuine boos in pro wrestling.

And I gots to watch Heat this Sunday. Word on the street is that Steiner was getting some hefty boos. There's no fooling Canadian fans.

Sunday, July 06, 2003

This Sucks, That Sucks

I missed the last hour of Smackdown because I went and watched fireworks, or something. But, I got to see the highlights of Zac Gowen and Stephanie McMahon versus the Big Show. Let me say, Zac Gowen is seriously fun to watch. I was watching the match in anticipation of his one legged moonsault, but everything leading up to it was just as good. I assumed he would wrestle with his prosthetic leg on, but I was wrong. Watching this kid (he's younger that me) hop around the ring on his one little leg was hell of entertaining. And he got some wicked nice shots in on the Big Show. I look forward to watching him jump around some more in the future.

I want to say that the commentators on Velocity are easily the worst commentators ever. How is it that the WWE only has two decent commentators? The Cat has got to be by far the worst colour commentator ever. And that other guy, who the hell is he? Not that Taz is any prize horse either. He had a horrible debut in the WWE, followed by an bewilderingly mediocre wrestling career, and now he sees fit to rest on his laurels and make a new mark as one of the worst commentators ever. Does anyone have a comprehension of the extent of the vitality of the commentators? It was Bobby Heanen's commentary that helped make Ultimate Warrior and the Macho King at Wrestlemania Seven one of my all time favorites. Could you imagine if they had the Coach and Al Snow calling that classic match? I can guarantee you that it wouldn't have been the classic that I remember it being today.

So they fired Jamal, why the hell haven't they fired Rosey? I watched his match on Heat in which he teamed up with Rodney Mack to take on the Dudleys. This guy has absolutely no talent was so ever. He's slow, he can't sell a move, he can't deliver moves, and I don't think I've ever seen him touch a microphone (which is probably a God send). I'm completely perplexed as to why the WWE would give him any air time. Sure, Goldberg is clumsy and has no mic skills, but he at least (or so it seems to be the generally accepted belief) has some sort of positive affect on the ratings, and he sells merchandise. But, Rosey brings absolutely nothing to the table. There is not a wrestling fan alive who is even remotely concerned with whether or not Rosey gets any TV time. It's nothing more than an unnecessary risk for the actual talent in the company. They brought Rosey in for the sole purpose of the three minute gimmick. Him and Jamal were nothing more than just two big dumb guys to do Bischoff's bidding. Well, the gimmick is gone and Jamal is gone. So why the hell is Rosey still here?

Saturday, July 05, 2003

Hurricane's Newest Tag Team Partner

So I guess the tag team of Goldust and The Hurricane won't be making it on to national television any time soon as Goldust has been called to jury duty of all things. Right now there's a tag match scheduled betwixt the team of Val Venis and the Hurricane and the team of Randy Orton and Mark Jindrak. I'm not sure if this match is supposed to be for the weekend house shows, Raw, or both. But, it does aid rumors that Mark Jindrak is going to be the newest member of Evolution. And, it may provide insight into who the Hurricane's permanent tag team partner may be. But, hopefully not.

If they stick the Hurricane with Val Venis then it will becom evident that the WWE is merely shuffling around their best up and coming talent. They shouldn't really have the Hurricane working the tag team ranks unless they're going to hook him up with a notable tag team partner with a complementary style.

Thursday, July 03, 2003

Hurricane's New Tag Team Partner

I just read that at the Raw house shows over the weekend The Hurricane will be tagging with none other than Goldust. Don't be surprised if this Monday on Raw the Hurricane declares Goldust as his newest experimental tag team partner. And I think this one could actually go some where. They're both fairly mysterious characters and they both make for hilarious backstage segments. Goldust is a seasoned veteran who just hasn't gotten the play he deserves over the last few years, the Hurricane is the hottest up and comer in the WWE right now. Could Goldust be the one to assist in the Hurricane's venture and take the titles from La Resistance?

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

I Rock English

I'm going to let you in on a little secret about my writing techniques. As I'm writing this right now I currently have another window open that's connected to the online dictionary. Whenever I write songs I always have a dictionary with me. Often I find that I'll do this wierd little thing in which a word will pop into my head. The word will seem proper as far as phonology is concerned, but I will lack an accurate recall of that particular word. I will the proceed to check the dictionary, and nine times out of ten, it's an actual word.

This little quirk of mine emerged as serving the role of an actual competive resource whilst engaged in a game of Scrabble. I played the word "nodal", to which my Scrabble foe remarked something along the lines of "What's that supposed to be"(though not that, but for the sake of conveying my point I'll continue to adhere to this particular utterence).

"Nodal," I said. "As in pertaining to nodes."

He challenged me, and lo and behold, nodal is a word and it means "as in pertaining to nodes". This word of which I have no proper echoic recollection had just popped into my head, I used it, and it turned out to be a word. Whilst playing Scrabble I tend to take a certain level of confidence in my ability to guess words. This is due to my past experience with songwriting. I almost always have a dictionary at hand when songwriting. And now with my blog I always use the online dictionary, because words will just suddenly pop into my head.

You'd be surprised at what is a word, some of the two letter words in the English language get pretty rediculous. For instance, aa is a word. That's right, aa. And ut is a word. Ut, for crying out loud! My friend with whom I play Scrabble has, at least as it appears to me, gone through the Scrabble Dictionary and memorized all the two letter words. So I've had to revamp my Scrabble strategy, with my number one objective being to beat him to the triple word scores, no matter how crappy my word is. His knowledge of two letter words and strategical skills has resulted in him usually beating me at Scrabble. Even though we both know that I'm much better adept to the English language than he is.

Over the past couple of months I've become totally fascinated with the English language. I spent a bit of time trying to learn Hebrew in the past, which I probably will take up again in the near to distant yet near future. But, the more I study the more I realize there's just so much more I need to learn about the English language. Alot of smart person will try and tell you that the English language sucks, and they'll give you a bunch of "reasons". So it has flaws, and not a single rule of phonology or syntax is without exception. But, this is our language, and it's time we take a little bit of pride in it. Besides it's the quirks that make it so fascinating. Oh, English, I could spend a life time learning your mysterious ways and never truely grasp the magnitude of your innaptitude.

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Raw June 30th 2003: Kane Sucks

I said that if Kane says so much as one word then his new gimmick is completely ruined. He said multiple words. Each word being exponentially worse then the previous. He came off as a girl. Could Kane be anymore of a girl? I was hoping he'd be a monster. I was hoping he'd shut up and destroy every living thing around him, women, children, elderly, anybody. Instead he goes for Bischoff, once again the writers are making a pittiful attempt to have Kane come off a some sort of face. As for Kane's face, since they can't really use make up the company's current plan is to rely on creative camera ankles and the mugging skills of Dr. Isaac "Fake Diesel" Yankem.

As for the Hurricane. There weren't any backstage antics, and we didn't get to hear him say anything clever. But, there was some seriously solid wrestling. For now they have the Hurricane attempting to make a name for himself in the tag team division. Once again they had him facing off against La Resistance, but this time his partner was Spike Dudley. Let me just say that the tag team situation in the WWE is currently hell of sad. There are some incredible tag teams right now, I love La Resistance, the Dudleys, Los Guerreros, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haus, and the APA. But, with the stupid brand extension you currently have like two or three good tag teams on each show. That means two bealts for six wrestlers, that means nothing worth watching. It seems the Hurrican could only make things better.

The match was a pretty good match. I noticed a "boring" chant whilst Spike was in, but at least it was just for Spike. The chant still caught me off guard, because this match was anything but boring. Spike Dudley was actually pretty entertaining in this match. He took one wicked back body drop over the top rope and out of the ring. Hurricane was as tight as ever. I noticed that he does a really smooth arm drag take down. And Spike Dudley does a nice old fashioned neck breaker. Despite this, they lost the match. And, I guess as the currents Hurri-gimmick goes, the Hurricane will be back again with a different tag team partner. I sure hope the writers are planning on going somewhere with this gimmick, they'd better have a long term (although not too long term, because the Hurricane really does belong in singles competition, especially now that the Intercontinental title is back), and I hope with all my heart that this is leading up to a SummerSlam tag team title match. Seriously, the Hurricane just isn't getting any PPV time. The last PPV was the first all Raw PPV and there was no Hurricane to be seen. As ace reporter Gregory Helms would say; "What is up with that?"

The main event betwixt RVD and Triple H was incredible. RVD totally reminded all of us why he deserves to be in the main event for every show ever. Word on the street is that he was getting wicked pops after the cameras went out. How about that Rolling Thunder out on the steal ramp? I seriously hope they get RVD the hell away from Kane. Kane's character is totally going down the toilet, for the love of everything good please don't send RVD down with him!

I enjoyed seeing Stacy Keibler getting slaughtered by Test. Don't worry I'm not into "that" sort of thing. I'm just a really huge Testicle.

And once again, Christian has managed to hold on to his Intercontinental title after defending it against Booker T. Absolutely awesome. I'm dying to see Christian have a nice, long reign as Intercontinental Champion. Of course, I'm also just as dying to see them give him a victory at some point during his reign. Just because Christian is one funny guy doesn't mean he should be constantly portrayed as a joke. He's proving more and more that he's got the shit to pull his weight on the program. He's proven that he is definitely the guy to go to when you need someone, as he's shown us as substituting for Jericho with his own little interview segment The Peep Show, which I'd say rivals the Highlight Reel.

Alright, King Of The Hill is on right now.