Monday, June 30, 2003

Another One!!!!! Waaaaaaa!!! Seriously? OK!

Geez, just a couple days ago Rowdy Roddy Piper was throwing in the towel, and now some one else is to. Friggin' Hulk Hogan. I can't take this, seriously. I love the guy. But, could he please com back for longer than two months for once? Now he's saying that he wants to go over and wrestle in Japan. Hell, we all want to go and do whatever we do over in Japan. Everything's better in Japan. But, come on "Mr. America"!!! They probably won't take it as well when you America up. And what's more. Apparently Hogan is already in discussions with WWE about coming back. I guess they still have big plans for a match between Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan.

True, Hogan's leaving the WWE. But, that doesn't mean that Mr. America needs to. Seriously, get someone else to play Mr. America. It would only add to the splendid rediculousness of the character.

And Crash Holly was fired, but no one seems to really care about that one. Well, I do. The guy holds the record for the most title reigns in the WWE. Thanks to the old 24/7 rule they used to have on the hardcore title. Man that made for some great moments. I've heard that when he's not wrestling in WWE he serves as a bouncer for various nightclubs in North Cackalacky.

Either way, it's Monday Night and I'm getting ready to drink some beer and watch some wrestling. I can't wait to see what antics the Hurrican will be up to tonight. Last week we saw him teaming up with Sgt. Slaughter to have an unsuccessful go at La Resistance. The Hurricane has provided me with so many memorable TV moments and last week's was definitely one of them. Will tonight's show serve like wise? Here's hoping.

I Suck

Ok, obviously I can't get my links to work.


Ok, it took me four edits to be able to master the art of creating a headline. Now I need to work on my link skills. This is my fifth edit. Here goes.

Saturday, June 28, 2003

There's Math Everywhere

Restate my assumptions: mathematics is the language of nature, therefore I'm a complete dumbass. My inability to perform in the area of mathematics has haunted me through out was has so far constituted my academic career. I tell everyone that I'm really smart. At least here in Hastings. Over in Lansing I don't feel so smart. But, here in Hastings, I let everyone know I'm super smart!!!

But, the simple fact is that I'm not smart. I'll never be smart. It's my fate to only be capable of attaining a certain level of intellectual stature. And this is all due to my inability in the area of mathematics. All the great philosphers are in accordance that mathematics is the most essential element of human knowledge. Plato would refuse to except new students at his University unless they could totally kick ass at math. Unless you hone your math skills you can only be so smart. Kind of like how on X-Men for Sega Genesis you can't make it past the fourth level if you have it on easy.

I'm talking about this because I just downloaded some lecture notes for a class I'm starting up at MSU this Monday, Psych 295: Data Analysis in Psychological Research. I'm looking at the lecture notes and I'm thinking to myself that this class will be the end of my 3.2 GPA. Now, I know 3.2 isn't all that precious, but if I can keep it above 3.0 then my car insurance is eleven dollars less a month. You see this, now math is going to result in unnecessary financial expenditure. And, there's no dropping this class. It's totally a requirement!! I'm so totally screwed!

And to think of all those feminists who got in a huffy over that talking Barbie doll that said "math is hard". She was just stating a fact, bitches. Maybe this is something kids need to hear. Maybe it's not about opposing an outdated standard of academic gender stratification. Maybe Matel was just trying to prepare the girls for the worst. If they made a G.I. Joe action figure that said "Math is hard!", no one would think anything of it.

My lack of math skills has already proven to be capable of serving the function of a financial burden. Last semester, for the first time in my so far illustrious career as a student (and it is a career, dammit! Marx would totally back me on this) I had to drop one of my classes. That class was Chemistry 141: Basic As Hell Chemistry. I was totally failing that class and out of fear of academic probation I totally dropped it. It was my first semester at MSU, and I didn't want to fail a class right out of the gate. So I dropped it. When I signed up for the class I thought we were going to be studying chemistry as in chemicals. But, I guess someone decided that mathematics is somehow a fundamental aspect to the study chemicals. Pretty much all of the questions were math problems. So, there was no way I was going to be able to memorize the definitions and then get through the whole ordeal with a shaky B minus. Stupid language of nature. And this class was a four credit hour class. Meaning it cost around eight hundred dollars. Yep, math cost me eight hundred dollars.

Just think about that for a second. I suck at math, so I'm out eight hundred dollars. I suck at alot of things, but no other thing at which I suck has cost me eight hundred dollars. Because, no other thing apart from math is math. But, all the same, no other thing exists apart from math. Math subsists in all elements of anything you'd want to be good at. I want to be good at something, and whatever that it, math is guaranteed to be a stumbling block. The implications of a deficiency of math skills becomes more and more evident to me as the semesters roll on.

Rowdy Roddy is a bit too rowdy, which is a shame because I wanted more Roddy

If you check the wrestling websites as often as I do, then you should know by now that Rowdy Roddy has been released from the WWE. Apparently some of the remarks he made for a recent HBO special on drug related deaths in professional wrestling has lead the company to believe that his current vocation as that of a professional wrestler could be somehow detrimental to his personal life. So, no more Piper. No more Piper's Pit.

It's a shame, because it was seeming there that interview segments were on the comeback. As a kid I always loved the interview segments that for some reason they stopped doing at some point, the Barber Shop, the King's Court, the Heart Break Hotel, etc. And these interview segments gave us so many classic moments. Piper's Pit gave us Rowdy Roddy busting a coconut over Jimmy Snuka's head. The Barber Shop gave us Shawn Micheal's memorable betrayol of Marty Janetty. The King's Court gave us Jerry Lawler destroying Tiny Tim's Ukele.

Piper's Pit was the prototype for all of these segments. It seems wrestlers now a days work more on their acting skills then their mic skills. Too much conversation, confrontation, expatriation, escalation, and not enough shpeel. Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel has become one of the highlights of Raw in my opinion. Lance Storm's prepared statement last Monday was absolutely hillarious. And Chris Jericho is doing exactly what he had originally intended for the segment. He's giving some of the more soft spoken superstars a chance to hone their mic skills.

Friday, June 27, 2003

It's A Headline

Alright, I'm still trying to get used to things here. I'm trying to make headlines, seriously. By making the words at the top bolder than the rest of my writings, I've created a headline. But, I wonder if I did this right, so bear with me. This is my fourth edit. I totally suck at this.


Ok, I totally sucked at putting up those links, let me try again.

Alright, I hope that worked.

Ok, here's my first post actually dealing with the Hurricane. I've got quite a bit to cover. First off, yesterday the Hurricane updated his online diary over at . Check it out, his writings are always amusing. Here's the link:

Anyways, anyone who saw RAW on Monday witnessed the Hurrican team up with Sgt. Slaughter to take on La Resistance. This was pretty incredible, despite the fact that the Hurricane and the Sarge lost the match. I thought this was fun to see because La Resistance reminds me so much of Slaughter back when he was a heal during the early nineties. That was such a brilliant gimmick. The country was at war with Iraq and so they had Sgt. Slaughter come out in support of Iraq, and hanging out with what's his name, General Ack or whatever. It was so ballsy, and they actually had to relocate Wrestlemania Seven out fear that someone was going to snipe the Sarge. La Resistance sort of has that same ballsyness to it. It's one of those gimmicks that could lead to fans getting carried away and trying to do actual physical harm to you. But, La Resistance doesn't have nearly the ballsyness of Slaughter's gimmick. First off, it's a different world in pro wrestling, fans aren't quite as likely to stab you or snipe you. Plus, they're French. The French are really secondary characters in this particular war story. Oh, yeah, and the war is over. But still, when they interrupted Lillian Garcia whilst she was singing the National Anthem I was totally on my ass. There were Marines up in the front row booing, it was just beautiful. And another thing, La Resistance aren't really French, they're French Canadian. Now that I think about, La Resistance isn't ballsy at all. No, they are. Either way, they took the titles away from the stupidest tag team ever, and thus brought an end to that stupid tag team. Man, what a stupid tag team.

Seriously, what's wrong with these people. RVD and Kane is easily the worst tag team ever. And I love RVD. But, RVD should be contending for the heavyweight championship, or now maybe the Intercontinental Championship, not doing stupid vignettes with Kane. Oooh, RVD is really laid back and cool, Kane is all angry and mysterious, what hillarious vignettes we could do with these two. But, they weren't hillarious, they were stupid. They just continued to bring Kane's character further and further down. The Hurricane and Kane, I thought, were a way better tag team. First off, tagging with Kane was a push for the Hurricane. For RVD it was a serious step back. Plus, any vignette involving the Hurricane is going to be hillarious. That tag team resulted in one of my favorite moments ever, when Kane kissed Teri and then the Hurricane looked into the camera and said "Now that's what I call an All Ameri-Kane!!". With that story line I thought they could have sent Kane's character in an interesting direction, a fairly goofy direction. But, no. They lost the tag team titles and then they did that god awful necrophelia story line. Although, I will always giggle everytime I remember Triple H wearing a Kane mask declaring "I did it! I actually screwed your brains out!". Don't get me wrong, it was still awful.

I'm extremely interested to see what they're going to do now that they've unmasked Kane. I thought the segment itself went over pretty well. What they need to do is never have him ever talk and have him completely dominate people. Seriously, no talking from Kane, please. I don't know where they're going with this new gimmick, but as soon as he talks it's over. It's been completely ruined. Seriously, if I hear so much as a peep out that guy, God help me I'll instantly dismiss the possibility of even the most remote hint of non-stupidness.

This month's issue of RAW magazine has an article on the Hurricane. But, RAW magazine kind of sucks.

My main goal with this whole thing is to be read. I love writing, but since scoring my associate's degree I've had no excuse to write. I had this teacher who like believed in me or something (I haven't had to many of those) and she gave me a job (not really a job) writing movie reviews for the college newspaper. So since finishing up and going to a real school (MSU, go Spartans!!) I haven't had any excuse to write. I thought about just writing for the hell of it, but I can't write without purpose. Most people will tell you, I'm a guy who gets things done. I don't want to do a thing unless it's going to be done at some point. I need goals. So my goal is to have people actually read this shit. Because honestly, I'm not that amused by writing. I just happen to think I'm better at it than the average person (although all of my friends seem to be really good writers, but I guess I hang out with an above average crowd). But, like I said it's all about purpose.

See, I'm a musician but I hate to "jam". There's something about hanging out with some friends, just kicking back, and playing music that seems like a complete waste of time to me. Maybe I'd like it if I was some sans ambition pot smoker. But, I'm not. I'm a Spartan dammit! When I play music with my friends we go and we work on songs so we can play them in front of people and then maybe record them so we can sell our songs on a CD so maybe more people will listen to us. It's all a means to a means with really no end. It's all about purpose. As long as there is a purpose, I've found I can do even the most pointless of tasks.

The main theme behind my blog will be professional wrestling, in particular, The Hurricane. I plan to discuss The Hurricane's matches, things The Hurricane has said, places The Hurricane has been, and more. This won't be all I'll blog about, but it will be the central them, just to give myself something to fall back on and to give my blog a sense of direction.